Episode 156: Anger

Speaker 0 (0:09): Welcome back to another episode of record of my father. Today, we're gonna be talking about anger. This is a counterpart to our other series on love and fear. I think doing one on emotions is interesting. You know?

Speaker 0 (0:22): Oh. Nope. That was me. Sorry. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (0:25): Your camera went out there. But here we are.

Speaker 1 (0:28): I was trying to, like, expand it, I'm a technical wizard. You know that.

Speaker 0 (0:31): There you are. I think it's so funny that you were in law firm research information. Yeah. Technology specifically, a technology oriented field. I think that that's interesting.

Speaker 0 (0:41): But, yeah, I don't know. I've been angry in my life. You know? Mhmm. Have you been angry in your life?

Speaker 0 (0:47): Never. Never? Never angry once?

Speaker 1 (0:50): Well, I mean, let's read a little definition here. Anger is a natural natural intense emotional response to a perceived threat, hurt or injustice that typically involves feelings of tension, hostility, antagonism, often urging a fight reaction to overcome or remove the source of the provocation. I could run through the times that I've been angry and the times I've been more angry than oh my gosh. I can think about, like, when I work construction. I work for WG Construction.

Speaker 1 (1:23): This is forty five years ago. And we were working at the Harry Diamond Laboratories, and I was on the I was on the 2nd Floor. We used to work. It was eight hours a day, but it was pretty intensive, and it was, you know, physical work all day long. And we were climbing scaffolding, and somebody dumped a bunch of stuff on me from above and laughed.

Speaker 1 (1:43): And he was a bricklayer laborer. Right? And I grabbed a brick, and I was gonna hit him with it. And there were, like, six people there, and I was realizing that if I hit him, that it would be I would be fired. Those six guys would beat me senseless, and, I would be thrown off the scaffolding.

Speaker 1 (2:06): But I was like, I was so angry that he did that that I went I climbed down the I climbed down the ladder. I went and got in my car, and I left. I just fucking walked off the job site. I was just, like, blistering. I've I I rarely but it was so weird because I was, like, freaking freaking out because inside, it was it's very weird when you're at that point where if I woulda had a gun, I woulda killed him.

Speaker 1 (2:38): Because, you know, it's it's 03:00 in the afternoon. It's Thursday. You've already worked forty hours of the week. You're sweating your balls off. You're hot.

Speaker 1 (2:46): You're over there's they're dumping, calc in the, or whatever the hell it was. They used to put

Unknown Speaker (2:53): Do what?

Speaker 1 (2:54): No. They used to put dust in the center of all of the cinder blocks, which turned out to be asbestos, which, you know, hey. Great breathing that shit when people are jumping 50 pound bags above your head, and it's floating in the air, and you can't I can't taste anything today. Anyway, another story. But I remember that it just it just set me off that it was and he was trying to be funny because it's really hot.

Speaker 1 (3:21): So he dumps water on me, and I was glad. I don't know what it was, but it just it was it made me so, like, blistering mad that it's like, I just I couldn't I and I remember it. I remember it very vividly. I went to my car, and the foreman's there, and he's a buddy. You know?

Unknown Speaker (3:40): The guy who was the best man in my wedding, he was his older brother. Oh, wow. He's like, you just you just gotta calm down. You just gotta fuck you. I was just, like, blistering red.

Speaker 1 (3:50): Got in the car, drove off at, like, 65 miles an hour on the dirt road. I was all the way out the out the thing, and then they I came back, like, two hours later. No. I didn't come back. He stopped by my house on the way home and said, okay.

Speaker 1 (4:08): Come back tomorrow. So it was like, it was not you know, it it

Speaker 0 (4:14): just Sometimes you need to distance yourself. You know?

Speaker 1 (4:16): I had a tipping point, and I left. It's like, I think about that, and I've had that happen a number of times where I'll someone will do something that'll make me, like, you know, not like when women do it, I have no brain. It it just hurts, and I, you know, punch holes in the wall and scream and cry and do all the silly stuff that all things that all guys do. But when when when somebody else infringes on me and I have no power to respond to it, or I do have power, I think, which I think is what makes me incredibly dangerous. Because when you when you encroach on Phil Brown, I like, if you do something that I think through everything I'm gonna do.

Speaker 1 (5:10): And then when I start, I'm gonna do it.

Speaker 0 (5:13): Well, that's that reminds me of all the times specifically in traffic, I think. And when somebody is in the far left lane Yeah. And they are riding the left lane and they which is a passing lane for all listeners. That is in fact a passing lane. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 0 (5:29): That's not you should not ride the left lane. I don't know why people don't know that. They don't teach you that in in driving school, funny enough. They teach you how to parallel park, but they don't teach you that the left lane is a passing lane. But no, you always feel like, I think I remember asking him like, are you so frustrated?

Speaker 0 (5:45): And you said, well, they're trying to control me. And I'm like, I don't know if they know that. I I think sometimes definitely. Sometimes definitely people are like, oh, whatever. But I think a lot of times because I've been in the car with people.

Speaker 0 (5:55): I'm like, why are you why are you in this lane? They're like, what do mean? And I'm like, woah. Like, it's not it's weird that that isn't a universal known Seattle will give you a ticket. Really?

Unknown Speaker (6:06): Yeah. The police will take it as you would. If you do the speed limit, if you do the speed limit in the left lane, you get a ticket. I like that. I think it's a speed limit or you a speed limit and impede.

Speaker 1 (6:19): Because but frankly, they say anybody doing the speed limit in the left lane is impeding traffic. Always. True. That's good point. It's just everywhere.

Speaker 1 (6:27): It's it's a passing lane pass, move over, and let people go through because then you're gonna you're gonna unclog the traffic. The problem with people that stop there is all of a sudden, it you get a you have no fast people, medium people, slow people driving, and you you lose that that everybody's moving forward. You know? And then you got the nut like me that's like, I'm in the fast lane, and it and it it bothers me. It's just like when I when I pass somebody and I go up to the stoplight and they catch me, start, look.

Speaker 1 (6:55): He's right at the stoplight with me, and it's like, yeah. But I'm in front of you. And I'm gonna go when I go, and I'm not gonna wait for you. And you're not gonna look at your phone and wait. I mean, that's those are frustrations.

Speaker 1 (7:09): Those are really more frustration than anger.

Speaker 0 (7:11): And Anger is different than frustration.

Speaker 1 (7:13): That's fair. Really I really voice it, and I and I love I think that I think that, you know, when your windows are rolled up and you say that you hope the other person's family dies and they all get they all get burned to death and the world scorches the earth of them and everything just because they cut you off in traffic.

Unknown Speaker (7:31): Well, I think me and you had a conversation

Speaker 1 (7:32): take off when the green when the light turns green and it's two seconds later. You know?

Speaker 0 (7:36): We had a conversation about a decade ago, and I think you were yelling in the car. Yeah. And I was like, why are you so angry? And you're like, well, why are you, like, bothered by me being angry? And I'm like, but you're you're yelling in the car.

Speaker 0 (7:50): And I'm in the passenger seat. And I'm I'm affected by that. I I am affect I am affected by environmental change in emotion. Right? And me too.

Speaker 0 (7:59): Somebody's screaming in the car and it's really loud. I mean, chances are it's gonna affect somebody that's also in the car. I don't

Unknown Speaker (8:05): know. Yeah. I guess I guess My 2¢.

Unknown Speaker (8:07): My 2¢. But what do

Speaker 1 (8:09): I It's it's fair. It's that's fair. That's a fair assessment. I I I I I had that my whole life.

Speaker 0 (8:15): There you go. See? Environmental, emotional pain. Affects you.

Speaker 1 (8:20): It makes you nervous. It makes you worried. It makes you On edge. Edge that the person's gonna do something crazy. And for me, it it's a great it's a great release of, you know, tension when someone cuts you off.

Unknown Speaker (8:36): If I don't need to flick somebody off, I don't need a physical activity. Don't need point it on that. Used to. Yeah.

Speaker 0 (8:43): But I stopped doing it when I read that article about the woman that didn't do it on purpose that cut a guy off in Virginia. I think it was an exit that was actually near where I grew up and where you now live. And the guy shot through her back window, killed her kid. And I think that and that was just from cutting somebody perceiving that they were cut off. Yeah.

Speaker 0 (9:04): I was like, well, maybe I should never flick somebody off ever again. You know? Yeah. I never know. I don't I don't understand why people keep guns in the car.

Speaker 0 (9:12): I think that's crazy. I think that that's the worst because chances are, I mean, if it's in your house, 85% of the time you shoot your kid or your somebody you know and the immediate family anyway.

Speaker 1 (9:24): That's that's why I would think I would shoot. If in my house, there there's there's, like, six people. I would murder one of them because they would come over at 12:00. Hey, man. Let's go.

Unknown Speaker (9:33): Boom.

Speaker 0 (9:34): Exactly. Party. But, yeah. No. That's why I I think keeping guns in the car is silly.

Speaker 0 (9:39): I understand you wanna, I don't know, protect your freedom and whatnot. Understandable. But, in the car, really, I mean, chances are who's going to try to rob you while you're driving 60 miles an hour? I don't think very many people are there are many pirates out there.

Unknown Speaker (9:56): I think it's when you stop and when you get out. It's It's when you stop and get out.

Unknown Speaker (9:59): There's Yeah.

Speaker 1 (9:59): There's there's people that, park in work in bad areas, and they like to have protection. But if you leave it in the car and the car gets broken into, you lose it, so you carry it on yourself. That's why people carry guns because they're worried that other people carry guns and they're frightened of that.

Speaker 0 (10:17): I will say a lot of human trafficking happens at gas stations too. So, I will say that. That is actually a good reason. Yeah. No, a ton of human trafficking happens there because there was even a story.

Speaker 0 (10:26): I remember

Speaker 1 (10:27): Well, see, that's why I understand women carrying, but I don't Yeah. Understand like

Speaker 0 (10:30): Men carrying. It doesn't really But, make much yeah, I remember the the iDrive smart guy where I went to driving school. Yeah. Talked about this woman that was followed to a gas station and this guy, she

Unknown Speaker (10:45): got out to

Speaker 0 (10:45): get gas and she went into the mini mart and the mini mart guy locked the door. He locked the front door and she's like, are you doing? He's like, some guy just walked into your back seat of your car. He he walked in like while while the gas is pumping.

Unknown Speaker (10:58): Got in. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (10:58): Yeah. Got in the back of her car. And I'm like, that's crazy. That's scary. Scary stuff.

Unknown Speaker (11:03): Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (11:04): Scary stuff. You know? Scary, scary stuff. Yeah. And then if the gun was in the car, she couldn't do anything.

Unknown Speaker (11:09): You know? I mean

Unknown Speaker (11:09): It wouldn't do anything. You gotta

Speaker 0 (11:10): have on done anything, actually.

Unknown Speaker (11:12): And then if you have it on you, it's like, then you have you don't have the gas station.

Unknown Speaker (11:16): That's scary.

Unknown Speaker (11:17): You don't have an opportunity to think.

Speaker 0 (11:19): Well, it's hard to I mean, not many people can quick draw without shooting themselves, I think. I don't know. That's just

Unknown Speaker (11:23): my And most I mean, even the cops can't. I mean, they tend to shoot people. And they're they're, in theory, trained in how off how often do their shots hit their mark? Very, very rarely.

Unknown Speaker (11:36): Very

Speaker 1 (11:36): It seems like more rare than it is real. It's it's easy to shoot a standing target that's sitting there waiting. It's a piece of wood.

Speaker 0 (11:43): And you know that you're going to use your gun too. Like, it's always like, people can't hit a moving target at all because of the adrenaline and whatnot. Yeah. It's it's very very difficult in that certain circumstance. Mean

Unknown Speaker (11:56): Bobby had this.

Speaker 0 (11:58): Oh I was gonna say an aesthetician in California needs more hours of training than a police officer does. Yeah. Which I think is interesting. And I don't know.

Speaker 1 (12:06): Well, that's what I mean, they're all angry. That's what we're talking about anger. But you were talking about stress and aiming and stuff. It's like Bob, a buddy of mine, told a story. He's in the marines, and he said the the in, I I guess, the late sixties, early seventies, there was the guy for the marine.

Speaker 1 (12:25): He was the sharpshooter, the best pistol shooter in the country. He was number one. He had a medal, and he went to Vietnam because he was a marksman, and he went around and would do all these, you know, fancy shows. And he's and he's walking, and he's meeting the guys at, in Vietnam, and they're walking across the field, and they get passed. And it turns out that some of the VC had dug cubby holes into the ground, and one pops up.

Speaker 1 (12:55): And he has, like, an m 16 or something to that effect, AK. And he started rattling, shooting at guys. Right? And he goes, everybody scatters. He goes, this guy pulls out as 45, which he is the best shot in all of the marines, best shot at 15 feet away and and misses eight times in a row.

Speaker 1 (13:22): Eight times in a row from 15 feet. I mean and he said, luckily, the radio operator was with him, had a sidearm, or had a m 16 and just mowed the guy, and that was that. And he didn't kill anybody. But it was just the whole idea, and that guy got laughed out of the marines. He could not after that because every single marine said, you know, yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:49): You can shoot at at something already dead. We gotta shoot lives. And which is like I I gotta figure that that it that you know, it always makes me think of that forgiven thing when, Clint Eastwood says that, when you murder when you kill someone, you take away everything they were ever gonna be.

Speaker 0 (14:11): Well, it's much like many things. Right? Like, I don't know, throwing a pot or painting a picture, drawing a picture, doing math. I mean, like, in order to get better at killing people, sadly, to say, I think you need to kill a few people. I mean, that's just how it goes.

Speaker 0 (14:25): It's just like anything.

Speaker 1 (14:26): Well, you you they work on mechanics. You know? That it's an if and thing because you can't practice killing people. You just, you know

Unknown Speaker (14:36): Well, that was a

Speaker 1 (14:36): whole simulations, but you can't really actually feel that you're shooting someone and leaving their their body. Their their I don't That was a problem. Maybe there is some way to do that. I don't know how to do that. That I don't know how you can train for that to be good at it before you need to do it for the first time.

Speaker 1 (14:59): I think that that what what the military usually does in the in their training system is to get you to if I see somebody that looks like Zach, I pull up my weapon and I shoot mid round in the square area to disarm him. And I don't and it and it's just it's just an automatic reaction to anybody wearing a white shirt, and they just pull up the gun and shoot. There is no you cannot it's not it's not think, get ready, shoot. It's get ready, shoot, then think. You cannot you cannot think if you're gonna kill somebody.

Speaker 1 (15:40): Because if you do, the other guy will not be thinking and he will kill you. And it's like that's just the whole the whole the whole mentality of it. And I think that that's the problem with people with guns in their houses. It's like, you know, I mean, I remember what's her name said? I believe we were talking about anger and all of a sudden we're talking about guns and I guess there is a.

Unknown Speaker (16:00): I mean. There's a correlation.

Unknown Speaker (16:01): There is

Unknown Speaker (16:01): definitely. There's gotta

Unknown Speaker (16:02): be. Correlation.

Speaker 1 (16:02): I mean, I would think that, you know, the people that with heavy anger issues should not have access and you see like a lot of cops that are just mean and nasty and horrible people and they give them guns and they allow them to shoot.

Speaker 0 (16:19): Know? Because those people go to those professions. It's much like how pedophiles have are attracted to being the priesthood. Yeah. Exactly.

Speaker 0 (16:28): Yeah.

Speaker 1 (16:29): Because you have access to underage kids and it's like and it's the same thing as like.

Speaker 0 (16:32): Linger in a long time.

Speaker 1 (16:34): Think about the times.

Speaker 0 (16:35): I stopped letting traffic bother me because I was in the car with somebody and they asked me, they're like, what does it matter? What do you why does it matter so much? You know, that's a great question. That's a great question.

Speaker 1 (16:45): When I when I inhale and I think it's fine. But when someone does something that is like you're in a, you're in a traffic, right? And it's the shoulder and people cut on the shoulder and start running up the side shoulder. That's not an accident. That's because they believe that they're more important.

Speaker 1 (17:08): And if something does happen, that is supposed to be an escape for if anybody gets hurt and the ambulances come. Well, if they're on there running it up, clogging it, if someone does get hurt, well, you're fucked. You know?

Speaker 0 (17:24): What you're explaining too is the whole issue of the rule or of law by citizen. Right? Right. And it's like, oh, I follow all these laws. I pay my taxes.

Speaker 0 (17:33): But all these people don't do that. They don't follow the rules. Right. They don't pay their taxes. But here I am being a good person.

Speaker 0 (17:41): Why am I being a good person? What for? What does that do good for me? No. You know?

Speaker 0 (17:45): And you wonder that in a second. But then it goes away and you're like, well, society couldn't function without good people like me. You know? Right. It it really couldn't.

Speaker 0 (17:54): It couldn't at all.

Speaker 1 (17:54): Well, I'm your counterpart. So I'm trying to And I'm the best.

Speaker 0 (17:57): And that's really what this this whole podcast is about.

Speaker 1 (18:01): Well, no. When you think about the anger, I mean, I gotta I can look at I'm trying to think, like I mean, probably the most angry I've ever been is when I felt, cheated. Oh, yeah. And there was and there was nothing I could do about it.

Unknown Speaker (18:21): I feel the same way.

Speaker 1 (18:23): That is that to me is I mean When you

Unknown Speaker (18:25): feel screwed over.

Unknown Speaker (18:27): Right.

Speaker 0 (18:28): When you feel deliberately screwed there's no recourse.

Speaker 1 (18:30): And there's no, like Yeah. Legitimate recourse. That is

Speaker 0 (18:33): exactly where mine comes from too. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (18:36): And it's just like, oh.

Speaker 0 (18:37): Getting punched in the face would be better. You know?

Unknown Speaker (18:40): Right. Exactly. I feel screwed over.

Speaker 0 (18:42): I understand. Especially by people you know. Oh. Oh gosh.

Unknown Speaker (18:46): Well, that's who is gonna do it. You know?

Speaker 0 (18:48): Well, when somebody defiles your trust, you know, I think that that is really number one for me. That is definitely number one for me. Is the home run. The longevity of the relationship relies upon a sort of form of trust. Right?

Speaker 0 (19:03): That is instinctual and that you say, well, our relationship has gotten this far. We've been friends this long. Therefore, you won't do this to me. When in fact, it doesn't matter at all. They won't people won't screw you over any time of day.

Speaker 0 (19:18): You know? Oh,

Unknown Speaker (19:19): yeah. They will. Oh, yeah. I mean, I've had I've had, like, so many. I had, more recent what am I thinking of?

Speaker 1 (19:28): I remember GSI, Global Securities Information. It was, me and Harrison, and then we had the other the other partner there. Right? And we're we're having a heated argument about what we're gonna build make next. And we're sitting at a at a table in an office, and there's four chairs and he's on one end, I'm on the other.

Speaker 1 (19:51): Harrison's in the middle. And he balls up a piece of paper, hardwad, hits me right in the face in the middle of the conversation. And Harrison, decade later when I talked to him, said, I thought it was over. Because when you when you the way you stood up off the table and your fists looked like they were gonna break, and then he just looked at me and said, I gotta go. And I just I went out the door because I was doing exactly what I said I'd do, which is like, okay.

Speaker 1 (20:32): I'm gonna jump across the table, and I'm gonna pound him, and he either we're gonna one of us is gonna die.

Speaker 0 (20:37): Who was this, though? Was that, like, somebody in the company?

Unknown Speaker (20:40): That was Nick.

Speaker 0 (20:41): Oh. Yeah. So chief technology officer.

Speaker 1 (20:44): Yeah. Correct? Okay. Think he realized how insulting that was or

Speaker 0 (20:52): how respectful. That's what that sounds like. Deliberately disrespectful.

Speaker 1 (20:57): Yeah. And I didn't and I just like, to me, it was like, I don't I never disrespected it. I did I don't remember disrespecting anybody at the company. You know? I would not do that.

Speaker 1 (21:09): That that is like and if I did, I would do it behind closed doors, which it was, but there was a problem. There were three of us there, not two.

Speaker 0 (21:17): There's some connotation. He disrespected

Speaker 1 (21:20): me in front of the probably the second most important person in my life, my first partner. He disrespected me in front of him, and I got up and I had to think and I said, if I do this, this company dissolves. All those people are without jobs. This will be a bloody, nasty, ugly, ugly fight no matter what happens. You know, it didn't matter.

Speaker 1 (21:48): And that's what I and and I thought it through. And I'm sitting there with the whole hostility, and I get up and I just leave.

Speaker 0 (21:56): Smart. Separate yourself always.

Speaker 1 (21:58): But I've done that. I've done that a number of times when I get hugely when I get over when I realize that staying is not a good decision because you're going to escalate a thousandfold, you know. You're either going to punch him in the nose

Unknown Speaker (22:19): a good idea.

Speaker 1 (22:20): And and you're not going to stop. You know, I'm going to do like like what you say, you know, when you get in there and it's like, when someone makes you angry, you don't you don't stop.

Speaker 0 (22:28): Yeah, that's why I separate myself every time.

Unknown Speaker (22:31): Right. That's it. That's all

Speaker 0 (22:32): I'm going It's a good idea to do.

Speaker 1 (22:34): But it's like the I mean, the other type of thing that you think about anger is like anger and frustration. It's like, well, breakups. You know? I'm not

Speaker 0 (22:43): Anger resulted in a breakup.

Speaker 1 (22:46): No. No. I know. I would say you don't think that after the fact that you were that it was hurt. Because nature intense emotional response, anger is to a hurt, and that's what that is.

Speaker 1 (23:08): It involves feelings of tension, hostility, antagonism, often urging a fight, but in but this strongly just emotional. And I and I think that you go through a certain amount of hating the other party that that dumped you. You know what I mean?

Speaker 0 (23:26): I don't know if I ever I hated them for other reasons, but never directly because of

Unknown Speaker (23:32): Oh, no. Not because of that. I would I would I would

Speaker 0 (23:35): Ulterior things, definitely.

Speaker 1 (23:37): Yeah. I would say they were they cheated and they were shit and this, that, the other, and really angry, and they slept with this guy or that, and that that was horrible. And, you know, when in reality, we weren't married and I didn't have a clue on it and all that. You go into all that whole stress of your mind, you know, and when you fall in love and the other party doesn't fall in love, you're you're in a very, very bad situation. You know?

Speaker 1 (24:00): You know? And it happens both ways. And and and weirdly, it happened to me both ways.

Speaker 0 (24:05): Had bad to be on either side of that from my Right. Experience.

Speaker 1 (24:09): Yeah. I felt when I had women fall in love with me, shocker, and I didn't I just didn't have it for them. And, you know, it just I couldn't, I couldn't make it. And I, you know, and it's same thing. I fell for women, and they didn't have it for me.

Speaker 1 (24:28): And it's like, you know, and I I think until you get you get on in years, maybe you can you can understand it more, and that it controls it. But when someone when someone leaves you, and it doesn't matter what they say, you you draw your own conclusions first. You're heartbroken, you're heartfelt, and all that kind of stuff. But then at some point, you're like, you there's a a a I hate them. I want them back.

Unknown Speaker (24:56): I hate them. I want them back.

Speaker 0 (24:58): Everybody wants something is what I found. Yeah. And everybody wants something.

Unknown Speaker (25:02): I I'm just thinking about

Speaker 0 (25:03): Nobody wants nothing. You know? Yeah. Everything is transactional in this life. Everything.

Unknown Speaker (25:08): And then you find out that if you actually got it back together with them, it would be horrible.

Speaker 0 (25:12): Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm a big believer. A lot of people don't believe this, but everything happens for a reason. You know? I'm a big believer in that.

Speaker 1 (25:21): Well, but, I mean, I think that statement through. Come on.

Speaker 0 (25:25): Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think about everything that's happened in my life.

Unknown Speaker (25:28): That's a low thought statement. Okay? I'll I'll just say that. I'll pick on you right now.

Unknown Speaker (25:32): Alright. Pick on me.

Speaker 1 (25:33): Because, well, of course, everything happens for a reason.

Unknown Speaker (25:38): There you go. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (25:39): You breathe. You're alive. You walk. You talk. Exactly.

Unknown Speaker (25:43): So is that not true?

Unknown Speaker (25:44): The earth.

Unknown Speaker (25:45): Is that not true? Okay. There you go. Okay. See?

Speaker 0 (25:47): It's true. Yeah. It might be a low thought statement, but it's also a statement that can get you to overcome a hero of the state. Hardship. Exceptional hardship, I will say.

Unknown Speaker (25:57): At the end of the day

Speaker 0 (25:59): You know what happens at the end of the day? Night happens. And then you go to sleep, and then you wake up the next day. I know. I love I love that.

Speaker 0 (26:07): Happens to you then, and that changes your life. Somebody so many times happens for a reason.

Unknown Speaker (26:13): There you go.

Unknown Speaker (26:15): You go. Was it not the sunshine?

Speaker 1 (26:18): Those are the two phrases that just that they they make me angry.

Speaker 0 (26:22): Photosynthesis happens. No. I love it just from the plains.

Speaker 1 (26:27): I anger and everything. When people say at the end of the day and everything happens for a reason, I'm thinking like, no fucking shit.

Unknown Speaker (26:35): Well, it gets you through the day. You know?

Unknown Speaker (26:37): You know?

Unknown Speaker (26:38): Gets you to

Speaker 1 (26:38): It it it rains when there's clouds and they call for rain.

Speaker 0 (26:43): But these obvious statements are what help you. I swear.

Speaker 1 (26:47): Do know do you know it snows in the wintertime sometimes?

Speaker 0 (26:50): Because sometimes, I don't know, over processed intervention of your own life is unnecessary, I think. Overlooking or not overlooking.

Speaker 1 (26:59): Okay. I I okay. Simplicity is wonderful.

Unknown Speaker (27:03): There you go. See?

Unknown Speaker (27:04): Okay. Okay. I I can I you there go?

Unknown Speaker (27:06): And that's where that comes from.

Speaker 1 (27:07): You're you're getting you're getting me there, but please don't say at the end of the day.

Speaker 0 (27:10): You're getting a T shirt for your birthday that says everything happens for a reason.

Unknown Speaker (27:14): That's what you're getting. Oh, yeah. I love it.

Unknown Speaker (27:18): Gonna be

Speaker 1 (27:19): a song for Christmas. I want I want the, I want the letters and rainbows.

Unknown Speaker (27:25): I could do that.

Speaker 1 (27:26): Because then people will look at and go like, are you or what?

Speaker 0 (27:29): What? Vistaprint.com. Vistaprint.

Speaker 1 (27:32): Do rainbow colors so people think, what? Everything happens for a reason. What are you talking about? Did you stoop some guy? No.

Unknown Speaker (27:41): Whatever. No.

Unknown Speaker (27:42): Can I say that? Can I say that? I I don't know if I can say that. Anger. Anger, man.

Speaker 1 (27:46): Back to anger. When I think about, like, the different things, do you I mean, give me one of yours. Were you were you angry that day when you beat up those three guys?

Unknown Speaker (27:57): Oh, when I was, like, seven or, like, nine years ago. That?

Speaker 1 (28:00): You remember that? It was a football game.

Unknown Speaker (28:02): Yeah. No. I was You

Unknown Speaker (28:03): were playing football.

Speaker 0 (28:04): No. I was angry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 0 (28:06): A 100%. Yeah. Because yeah. I know I was. Because I felt

Unknown Speaker (28:09): Why were you too angry?

Unknown Speaker (28:10): Belittled. I felt belittled.

Speaker 1 (28:13): Yeah. Because they kept giving you a play to run and then they wouldn't throw it.

Speaker 0 (28:15): Exactly. Exactly. They disrespected you over and over over. And then not even that. It was the whole principle that we went there after school.

Speaker 0 (28:24): And that, like Yeah. I went out of my way to come here to be disrespected. No.

Unknown Speaker (28:29): I mean To be part of your group and your group just shit on me.

Speaker 0 (28:31): Yeah. Exactly.

Speaker 1 (28:33): Yeah. Yeah. And I remember that was, watching your anger in motion was incredible. I was like, oh my god.

Speaker 0 (28:45): I always thought I would have been a good fighter. You know? I always thought that. The way that you thought that.

Unknown Speaker (28:49): I mean

Unknown Speaker (28:50): I still got it. Think that to some degree.

Speaker 1 (28:52): You know? Would be, but it's it's an ugly, ugly thing that totally destroys your face and your brain and your ears.

Speaker 0 (28:57): Well, about Mickey Rourke at the age of 50, you know? The boy went back into boxing.

Unknown Speaker (29:03): Uh-huh.

Speaker 0 (29:03): And then now got really a lot of plastic surgery and it's like irrecoverable. And also, what is it? CTDs or whatever, the traumatic brain injuries. Or you don't fully recover from those, you know?

Speaker 1 (29:16): Do you know any any any really shockingly smart intellectual boxers in their fifties?

Speaker 0 (29:24): Sixties? Other than Muhammad Ali, no.

Unknown Speaker (29:27): He's dead.

Speaker 0 (29:28): Well, they're yeah. I mean, when he was alive, you know.

Speaker 1 (29:31): Lived to his fifties, but he was he had Parkinson's and he had all the

Speaker 0 (29:35): Well, how wait. How old was he though when he, died?

Unknown Speaker (29:39): Oh, good question.

Unknown Speaker (29:40): I don't think I think he was older than 60.

Speaker 1 (29:43): So now we're talking about bite boxing from anger.

Unknown Speaker (29:46): ADHD podcast. Death, age here. Let's see. Yeah. 74.

Unknown Speaker (29:55): Wow. There you go. See him? Mhmm. There you go.

Unknown Speaker (30:00): So he lived.

Speaker 0 (30:01): He Same thing with like, I can't imagine MMA, right? Oh my gosh. Getting choked out on a on a on

Unknown Speaker (30:07): a Regular basis?

Speaker 0 (30:08): Fighting base well, however often you fight. I don't know. I'm guessing you fight a lot when you're in the low ranks. Right? Yeah.

Speaker 0 (30:14): But then now, like, McGregor's kinda retired. Khabib is retired. There's all these random guys.

Unknown Speaker (30:21): Did you see all the thing about him? Khabib? No. Khabib's actually was a was always a stand up person. He was crazy, but McGregor raped somebody.

Speaker 0 (30:31): Really?

Speaker 1 (30:32): Was found guilty and civilly for some weird

Speaker 0 (30:37): How recent was this? I heard nothing about this.

Speaker 1 (30:40): Okay. McGregor and rape. Let's see. My god. We're checking all this stuff out because I just saw this.

Speaker 1 (30:47): And the reason the reason I bring it up.

Speaker 0 (30:49): I I didn't even I've never heard of that. It doesn't shock me though. My I knew somebody that met him one time and I almost had the opportunity to meet him at a at a bar in Austin. Funny enough. Yeah.

Speaker 0 (31:03): Yeah. In

Speaker 1 (31:05): He loses appeal in a civil rape case in July 2025. That's when he lost.

Speaker 0 (31:12): Wow. So is he going to prison or what?

Unknown Speaker (31:14): No. It's civil. So it's really weird.

Unknown Speaker (31:16): Does that mean? That is I don't understand what that means.

Speaker 1 (31:18): That means that, they didn't have enough evidence. They the the the crime they weren't presumed criminally. They were only presumed possible. You know, it's really weird. It's the same thing that happened to Trump.

Unknown Speaker (31:33): And he's ordered the

Unknown Speaker (31:34): page too.

Speaker 1 (31:35): 206,000 damages to Nikita Hand who accused him of raping her in a hotel. He appealed to grounds that his lawyers believe his answers to police during the interview should not have been put before the jury. His barrister argued that the question on the issue paper given to the jury to help them decide their verdict should have been worded differently. He was not in court for the ruling. She attended the hearing with supporters.

Speaker 1 (31:59): Police heard it during the original case. The jury heard that MacGregor said no comment around a 100 times when he was interviewed by the police.

Speaker 0 (32:07): That's interesting that a crime is not criminally prosecuted. Isn't that interesting?

Unknown Speaker (32:11): I don't know.

Unknown Speaker (32:12): They didn't see. I've never heard of something like

Speaker 1 (32:14): Here's the thing. Here's the difference. With a civil case, it's a preponderance of the evidence. Do you know what that means?

Speaker 0 (32:20): What does preponderance mean?

Speaker 1 (32:21): That means if we look at the evidence, it it it pretty much looks like you did it.

Unknown Speaker (32:26): Oh, interesting.

Speaker 1 (32:28): But if I wanna put you in jail, beyond a reasonable doubt, much, much higher. So even though I can't put you in jail, like, look at OJ Simpson.

Unknown Speaker (32:43): Mhmm.

Speaker 1 (32:44): He he killed his wife and, her boyfriend or whatever. Do think he did it? The guy. Yeah. And, but but he he whacks them.

Speaker 1 (32:54): He gets off. But the family, her family, sues him and gets a $23,000,000 verdict, which he can never pay because he never had that kind of money. Because a preponder of the evidence puts him at the scene, puts him in violent contact with her a

Unknown Speaker (33:12): couple of times. I see.

Speaker 1 (33:14): Shows that he had the black gloves that fit him. It was at his house. There was no other witnesses. They were in a fight. There was all this, like, a whole lot of circumstantial evidence, and it you know?

Unknown Speaker (33:26): So.

Speaker 0 (33:26): I remember they were saying it was the mailman. I'm like, I don't think that. Why would the mailman I don't I

Speaker 1 (33:30): don't know. No. He he he whacked her and got away with it, but then he ended up serving. He he doubled time four or five times later for all the stupid shit.

Speaker 0 (33:40): Thing. Yeah. That was like he sold his memorabilia to this guy, and then he went to go get it back by buying

Speaker 1 (33:48): back Somebody had he had sold his memorabilia years before for his lawyer fees, and then this guy had had bought it through a third party, and he said, hey. You want to buy it back? And he goes over and meets him at the hotel. And instead of just OJ Simpson's, like, 62, 63 was a monster guy. Right?

Speaker 1 (34:09): Instead of just saying, fuck you, Zach. I'm taking this shit. He pulls out a gun.

Speaker 0 (34:15): Oh, yeah. That's twenty one years automatic.

Speaker 1 (34:18): What happens when you pull a fucking gun out on It's plus 20 automatic. No. It's not plus it's not plus 20 if you're white. Okay. It's plus 20 if you're black.

Unknown Speaker (34:31): You know? It's very, very clear, and and you could say, Phil, you're being below below.

Unknown Speaker (34:35): I was like, really, because he pulled out a gun. I thought he just assaulted him and beat him half to death or something.

Speaker 1 (34:40): He did hit him a couple times, but he had a gun. And having a gun is like, you can't

Speaker 0 (34:46): you can't do the assault with a deadly weapon too, which is not good.

Speaker 1 (34:50): Yeah. And so he he got thirteen years. But Conor McGregor, for every for everything they said, it's like, he raped her. He raped her in a hotel room. He invited her in and the whole kind of thing and got her in there and Mhmm.

Speaker 1 (35:04): You know, and against her, Will had sex with her, raped her. I don't know if he beat her. How horrible I I don't you know, I'm assuming that if someone had sex with you against your will, and and it was a man, he was poking you in the ass, you'd you'd be traumatized. Right? Yes.

Speaker 1 (35:19): You know, I would be. You know? And and so if you're a woman and someone forces themselves on you on them, they gotta feel the same nasty, awful way. You know? I mean, you would feel traumatized and sue sue him, and he gets it, and and here's the horrible thing.

Unknown Speaker (35:35): Jimmy Fallon had him on his show, the Oh, yeah. Yeah. And that became a big thing.

Unknown Speaker (35:43): Been a fan. I've never Yeah.

Speaker 1 (35:44): And it's like, why why would the the late night guy have the rapist on there?

Unknown Speaker (35:50): Yeah. That's weird.

Speaker 1 (35:51): You know? I mean, the one thing that happened is, like, after OJ got found not guilty, he never did another commercial.

Speaker 0 (36:00): Oh, wow.

Speaker 1 (36:01): Blasting. He was he was doing yeah. Literally. And that was a joke. And I

Speaker 0 (36:10): I actually got that one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (36:14): But it was like, really? And then here's Conor McGregor, and he's guilt. And, well, look at the we got a president who was, you know, guilty of rape. And what? He's you know?

Speaker 1 (36:27): Hey. I guess I guess, women's rights are

Speaker 0 (36:30): It does seem more and more that having moral and ethical kind of standards doesn't matter. I don't know. But I think that at the same time, I mean, like, people say good always wins, right? But I don't know. I I saw this thing.

Unknown Speaker (36:46): Who who says that?

Speaker 0 (36:48): I don't know. Somebody does somewhere and it seems time and time again that we just live on a prison planet, you know? Yeah. Where you people in unfortunate circumstances are born And then in those unfortunate circumstances have to work for the rest of their lives and pay a billionaire's wages. Right.

Speaker 0 (37:08): You know, and it's just and then if they get hurt or something, then the hospital garnishes their wages. And to me, that sounds like prison. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know.

Speaker 0 (37:17): Well, mean, Prison for about one or 99% of this country.

Unknown Speaker (37:21): Was in his seventies, and he died in Old Manna, and he killed 350,000 people.

Speaker 0 (37:25): There you go. For having a sometimes.

Speaker 1 (37:28): Penoshet killed millions in Chile, and he died, an old man. I mean, I think we gave money. The the shawl of Iran, the reason that we have problems with Iran today is because we guarded him when he came here in 1979. Carter did not turn him back over to his people. And we suffered for that.

Speaker 1 (37:53): And we've suffered for that ever since. They would have been our best friends if we just handed over that horrible bloody dictator that we put into place years earlier.

Speaker 0 (38:03): Yeah. The older I guess didn't do it. It seems like evil seems to just be winning all the time. Yeah. You know?

Unknown Speaker (38:09): Yeah. It is it is sad. It is sad. I mean, especially being born

Speaker 0 (38:13): in an imperialist nation, you know, and all we've ever fought are imperialist wars. I don't know.

Unknown Speaker (38:20): Well, see you you and then you have the I mean, I don't understand the whole be good and all that kind of stuff that you hear. It's like, live with your anger. You know, when you think about the anger in general Well, whatever can be

Speaker 0 (38:35): evil, And you can live with him, I guess, be evil because I can't do that. Because if I was evil, I couldn't live with myself. Because that's why I try to be good because then I can't live with myself. You know? Yeah.

Speaker 0 (38:48): Yeah. Being evil is costly on the soul to some people, to some people. Yeah. But others not so much. Others not

Speaker 1 (38:55): so I mean, when you think about the different points and times that you've been angry, other angry. I mean, I think about business, home life. When have I been angry at? I'm trying to remember many, many, many times with the father. My mother, occasionally, I don't, I can't remember a single time where it it rose to the level of anger.

Speaker 1 (39:26): You know? My sisters and brothers, usually, was like fist to cuffs with Edwin.

Speaker 0 (39:37): And Seth That's natural, I feel.

Speaker 1 (39:39): Seth and I had a fight in the I remember in the kitchen, and he was on top of me and hit me. And I I grabbed a beer bottle, and he just totally freaked out because I was gonna bash his skull in. But, you know, and he backed off. And then that was that. And then

Unknown Speaker (39:56): Good times.

Speaker 1 (39:58): But never had never had a a I mean, I never had an I had a I think the last time I had a fight with my sister, I was, like, six or seven, and I hit her because she, you know, she would she could beat me up until then. And then I hit her, she cried. And I don't remember how old I was, but that was the worst feeling in the world to hit your sister and have her cry. And then I realized and she was two years older than me or 18 or whatever the heck it was. And that to me was just I just I felt like I had failed as a kid, and I was a tiny kid.

Unknown Speaker (40:36): I'm seven, eight, nine, something like that. I don't know.

Unknown Speaker (40:38): I wrong.

Speaker 1 (40:40): But we fought hand to hand all the time, and she was a tom girl, and she could beat my ass. Then all of a sudden I finally get to a point where I can win and she cried and I was just like-

Unknown Speaker (40:50): It's cheating. Yeah. It's lot cheating to me.

Speaker 1 (40:53): I lost and it was the most hollow feeling I've ever had. That's when I said, No, it's not. The downside to hitting a woman is just so no. So from seven on, I think I've never hit a woman since then.

Unknown Speaker (41:07): Well, that's good. That's good. That's positive.

Speaker 1 (41:09): I learned it. I learned it the hard way. Yeah. That's so funny. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (41:16): But anger, like anger on the road. Anger in business. I've been angry with business, more more calculating. I mean, I remember, big, big angry, angry, angry scene. Probably second year, second, third year in business at GSI, this would have been 8990.

Unknown Speaker (41:42): We had a Deb. I won't give her last name. She ultimately, years later, committed suicide. It was a horrible, horrible thing.

Speaker 0 (41:50): With the massager thing that you still have.

Unknown Speaker (41:52): Yeah. She's the one that gave me massager thing. You still

Unknown Speaker (41:55): have that, do you?

Speaker 1 (41:56): Yep. Yep. I I she's just this bright light of a human being. And we had these stacks of documents on the tables at the SEC, and this is before online filings. And you had to pick the documents up, and you took them over to the copier and made copies.

Speaker 1 (42:12): And she had a list of she was our watch person. So if a document came in, she checked to see if IBM's 10 k came in, and she'd grab it, and she'd take it over, get a copy, then we'd send it to the customer. She's over there running through the watch list. And a guy walks up behind her. And she's she's bent over the table, like, forward.

Speaker 1 (42:30): And he walks up behind her, and he spreads his legs, and he does the bounce on her ass.

Speaker 0 (42:36): That's crazy. That's insane.

Speaker 1 (42:39): And I just I I snapped because she was someone that I work with, and I was and I liked her and respected her and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker 0 (42:48): You don't want employees to be fearful.

Speaker 1 (42:50): Yeah. And she was my employee too. So I walked over to her, and she turns around, and she goes, that's not right. And she's yelling at him. And I walked over, and I stepped in between her.

Speaker 1 (43:01): And I started tapping him on the shell chest immediately. We need to talk. We need to talk outside right now. Because I knew if I did anything in the room that I was gonna lose my business. But if I took them outside, it would be simple assault, and I'd go to a local church.

Unknown Speaker (43:20): And that's that's the way I was thinking right then. Was like, okay. Simple assault I can deal with. I can pay a lawyer. It's not a big deal.

Speaker 1 (43:26): I beat them up. No one no one cares. But I but I was got I was I had a set mind.

Unknown Speaker (43:30): Mhmm.

Speaker 1 (43:31): And it was so weird that I remember all my staff from that point on when I worked with Harrison, because Harrison was, like, bigger than me, stronger, louder, all that kind of stuff. He could've you know, he could beat up half the room, and he was he's a monster of a guy. They no longer they said somebody said, actually, I'm not I'm not scared of Richard. I'm I'm I'm scared of Phil when he's mad.

Unknown Speaker (43:58): I I have the same thing. I think that there is a brown There was a click. Rate.

Speaker 1 (44:03): He clicked it. I just went crazy. And I didn't say anything, but I was very, very deliberate. I tapped him on his chest until he get to the wall. I went nose to nose with him while he was against the wall, and he was like doing this.

Speaker 1 (44:22): He didn't know what he didn't know what to do. He did not know what to do. And I was waiting. I was saying and I was just tapping him on the chest, and my my nose was right there. My eyes my eyes were three inches from his eyes, and I was like

Speaker 0 (44:37): When you put a predator in their place, I mean, it's a weak willed person to begin with, so there's no real again. There you go. Same. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:46): I remember the security lady coming around the corner and she goes, is there a problem here? I said, no. We're just going to go outside. He goes, I can't go outside. I looked at him.

Speaker 1 (44:59): I said, what do you mean? I thought we were going go outside. He goes, I can't go outside. I can't go outside. I can't go outside right now.

Speaker 1 (45:08): I'm busy. Was just like, Look at me. By the way, I'm sorry too. It it was the weirdest thing, and people around there were like because they'd seen me as this happy, jovial, friendly, though never ever ever ever snap that day I snapped. And I snap very rarely.

Unknown Speaker (45:35): But when

Unknown Speaker (45:35): I

Speaker 1 (45:35): snap, you know, so I don't know. But I didn't have to do anything, so I don't really know if I'm all that strong or if it's just more intimidation and and, you know, and all that. So you know? But like you, it's like I I mean, I saw you that day.

Speaker 0 (45:52): Blood in my eyes. Yeah. When you in my eyes.

Speaker 1 (45:56): When those three the first guy, you came up and you hit him and he went down on the ground on the first punch. The other guy came over to grab your arm. You hit him. He went down on the ground. The third guy came over and grabbed behind you and grabbed you.

Speaker 1 (46:11): You elbowed him in the gut, turned around, punched him in the face. He fell down. The first guy was getting up. You went over to the first guy, and you punched him. He goes back down on the ground.

Speaker 1 (46:19): The second guy's getting up. You run over to him, and you punch him. The third guy starts to get up, sees you coming towards him, stays down. I got there at that point. I was I was probably

Unknown Speaker (46:31): get out of the car? You got it.

Speaker 1 (46:32): God. I jumped out of the car, jumped the there's an eight foot fence there. I jumped the fence. I ran towards you because I knew the way you were, and I'd seen you do that before. You did that when you were, like, there.

Speaker 1 (46:45): You were probably, like that was fifth grade. So what were you? 10?

Unknown Speaker (46:50): Nine. Nine or eight. Nine. Yeah. Well

Unknown Speaker (46:53): Eight or

Unknown Speaker (46:54): nine.

Speaker 1 (46:54): You and when you were in Cub Scouts, your very first meeting in Cub Scouts, go, and I remember. And this you were, like, the anger that balled up in you was goes from anger, and then you cried. And because you cried then right afterward, and you were so sad that you broke, and I was like, no, man. You should have beat you. Hey.

Speaker 1 (47:12): Well, I was I was shockingly proud, but you did the same thing. And you were like this little guy. You know? We we go to the cub scout thing. You're on the swing set, and you're going back and forth on the sidestep.

Unknown Speaker (47:24): God about

Speaker 1 (47:24): that

Speaker 0 (47:25): one.

Speaker 1 (47:25): Oh my god. The and the and this this older guy, he was at least two grades ahead of you, and he was he was a full head taller than you. And I'm in the car.

Unknown Speaker (47:35): He was huge. I remember that.

Speaker 1 (47:37): Yeah. And I'm letting you deal with it. And he walks up behind you, and he puts a hug around you while you're on the swing set, he pulls you off and throws you on the ground. And I'm going like, okay. Should I get out of my car?

Speaker 1 (47:49): And

Unknown Speaker (47:50): Such an interesting

Speaker 1 (47:51): And you got up. You got up. You dusted yourself off. You didn't do a damn thing. And he's laughing, and then he walks away.

Unknown Speaker (47:58): And then you get back on the swing set. You do it. You know? And he comes over and he does it again. And I'm like, that guy's a dick.

Speaker 1 (48:06): What's that all about? You know? And you and you were like, okay, you go and you get back on the swing set. And he grabs you the third time. You elbowed him really, really good right in the ribs.

Speaker 1 (48:22): And he bends over. And when he's he he drops you, he lets go of you and drops you because he was picking you up off the ground. That's how tall he was, and that's how strong he was. He does that. He drops you.

Speaker 1 (48:32): You turn around. You hit him three or four times in the face, like, nose, jaw, eye. Boom. Boom. Boom.

Speaker 1 (48:40): Boom. Boom. Because he's over. And he's like he starts crying immediately. And he runs away, and he says he's gonna tell his dad.

Speaker 1 (48:50): Because when he when you when he pulled you away and I saw you elbow him and turn around and hit him, I was on the fence. I was literally 10 30 feet away from you. I was like, he's gonna kill that kid. And because you just had that. You had a volatility that when

Unknown Speaker (49:07): Oh, definitely.

Speaker 1 (49:08): When it got lit, there was somebody was gonna die because you would not you know? And I was always like, oh. Oh.

Speaker 0 (49:16): Well, there was something that happened at camp where a kid ejaculated on my pillow. Oh, yeah. And then I was talking to him about how big of a piece of shit he was. He threw it at me. That was his ejaculate on it.

Speaker 0 (49:29): And I jumped down from my bunk. I said, come back here. He says, no. He walks out the door. I grab him by his collar, swing him back, throw him against the wood panel, punch his face in until he falls on the ground, start kicking him in the head.

Speaker 0 (49:42): I'm like, okay. I gotta stop. I gotta stop. Because I think I kicked him in the head twice. And I was like, okay.

Speaker 0 (49:47): You that that's when you gotta stop. Like, you know?

Unknown Speaker (49:49): You're gonna kill him.

Speaker 0 (49:50): But it wasn't until he threw it at me that I was like, oh, you're fucking done. Like, you're with his ejaculate on it. And I'm like,

Unknown Speaker (49:58): that's Ejaculate?

Speaker 0 (49:59): Is that a And this goes back to what we were saying before about disrespect. You know? Okay. It's one thing to ejaculate on my pillow. Okay.

Speaker 0 (50:07): I can call you a bigger piece of shit. You have to admit it, though. When you don't admit it and then you disrespect me on top of it, I will not take that. Will not. I will not.

Speaker 1 (50:15): Was there anybody else in the shed when you did that?

Speaker 0 (50:17): There was five people in there and they were like, you know, that's kind of fair. And even the counselor, I was really, really worried about what the counselor was going to think of like, side of the story? What do you hear? And then it's later that night and he comes over. He's like, heard what you did.

Unknown Speaker (50:31): That would have done the same thing. And I'm like, oh, okay. Well, there we go. Well, there you go. You know?

Speaker 0 (50:36): Yeah. Well, that's what happens.

Unknown Speaker (50:38): You know? Well, they send him home and then we came up and we got you.

Speaker 0 (50:41): They did send him home? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think I got the flu the week after because I was there for two weeks, and then I had the flu. Yeah.

Speaker 0 (50:49): The summer flu for the That was so good. Session. That sucked. And I was sick for a month, I think, or two months after that. That was

Speaker 1 (50:55): You think about the anger? Did you have lot of anger there?

Speaker 0 (50:57): When I had the flu?

Unknown Speaker (50:59): No. When you were skating.

Speaker 0 (51:01): Only until he threw the pillowcase at me with

Unknown Speaker (51:04): When you think about all

Unknown Speaker (51:05): your legs skating,

Unknown Speaker (51:06): was that I mean, you had a lot you used to get really angry when you couldn't do. You get angry at yourself when you can't do stuff.

Speaker 0 (51:13): Because you should be able to do it by then. You think that well, it's always learning, right? I mean, I think that there's a very specific person in this world that that doesn't like to learn or gets frustrated by learning and then just doesn't learn anything for the rest of their lives, you know?

Speaker 1 (51:26): Well, they learn different ways. I think that's the Well,

Speaker 0 (51:28): some people that are ignorant, they're wholly ignorant that cannot do and not to read and not to understand their place in society or self actualize. There's a very stubborn person out there that is a lot of this country right now, you know? And I don't know.

Speaker 1 (51:42): Well, you hear that story about the woman that did the, that on autism and that she doesn't learn the way you learn. She doesn't see things the way you see things. She sees them differently. And she learned by structure and she learned by all these different things. Like, I can see, I know how a cow feels.

Speaker 1 (52:04): That's why she figured out the big slaughter things. It was an autistic movie. I just saw bits and pieces of it all over. It's what made me realize that when I look at a page of text and you look at a page of text, we do not see the same thing.

Speaker 0 (52:21): Oh, no. No. We don't. Well, I'm firm believer that special education is incredibly important because there's a reason why I went to a public IV, you know? Like and and I was labeled mentally deficient for the entirety of elementary school.

Speaker 0 (52:34): And I don't think that somebody would never accomplish anything. And yet I went to a public IV. So there's that, you know, and there's ways these kids just struggle to read because it's not a natural thing. Putting words on a page like hieroglyphics and putting in front of a first grader and saying jump how high. It's not the easiest thing to do.

Speaker 0 (52:54): A matter of fact, you know? It's not the easiest thing to do. And that's why I think that, yeah, that, missus Skrinkowski taught me how to read, you know?

Unknown Speaker (53:02): Makes you angry, doesn't it?

Speaker 0 (53:03): That was it was incredible. No. It did. It did for a long time because you wanna be normal. You wanna be a normal person like everybody else.

Speaker 0 (53:11): But actually, the special attention is kinda you're learning faster at a more accelerated rate in a different way. Yeah. And you're actually more well off than you are.

Unknown Speaker (53:21): But you were also in Ed classes. We're taught less than others because they had special, you know, they learned how to fly rockets and we used to get pissed off by that.

Speaker 0 (53:28): Oh, the GT kind of thing, yeah.

Speaker 1 (53:31): Yeah. Yeah. And to your GT, you get to do things that the regular class don't get and it's sort of like, well, that's kind of weird.

Speaker 0 (53:39): A lot of them weren't even more intelligent either and didn't go to colleges or Mothers. The high school track or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that I think that that was kind of an interesting on onslaught of a, I don't know, kind of a niche demographic that was invented called the helicopter mom when I was early two thousands.

Unknown Speaker (54:00): It wasn't just then. It was it was long before

Unknown Speaker (54:03): Did get in the nineties? Or that happened?

Speaker 1 (54:06): Well, we had there was the occasional mom. I mean, when we when I was growing up, all moms stayed home. I did not. You know, my that that was it was very different.

Unknown Speaker (54:16): So maybe this has always been a thing, but they

Speaker 1 (54:18): You know, and and Mothers would turn. Mothers would the difference is there's a line somewhere in the eighties when the line for advocacy was like, if I if I got in trouble at school, no one would ever call and ask the teacher what she did wrong.

Unknown Speaker (54:36): Yeah. That's a very

Speaker 1 (54:38): new idea. Would be like, what'd you do? You know, what why? And, you know, what did you do? She's an adult.

Speaker 1 (54:44): She's she's expected to treat you with you know, you're expected to respect you, disrespect you, you just whatever. You know? Whereas, now, you told her to do her homework, you know, and you're like, well

Speaker 0 (54:59): Well, that was, something that I heard too during the pandemic. You had elementary schoolers that had to be on a Zoom call for eight hours, which is just insane. Like, I don't know. That's just not doable. But then the parents were like, I'm not gonna do that.

Speaker 0 (55:11): Like, that's your job. Right. That's your job to entertain my kid, but I'm like, at the same time, you're in your own house. Like, come on. Yeah.

Speaker 0 (55:16): You have to have some sort of, I don't know.

Unknown Speaker (55:19): Oh, the parents were there too.

Unknown Speaker (55:23): Oh, yeah. They're at home. So there's really no

Speaker 1 (55:25): They were at home. So it's like, what they were doing is like, hey, I used to have a sitter for eight eight hours a day, and now I don't have one.

Speaker 0 (55:31): This is fair. Yeah. Exactly. And then people realize that maybe they didn't really wanna have children. Know?

Unknown Speaker (55:37): Maybe they might. That's what

Speaker 1 (55:39): they really want. When you look at the education system, when we talk to the teachers that we know, they said that that group of students are well behind others.

Unknown Speaker (55:48): Oh, a 100%.

Unknown Speaker (55:49): And yet, the counties still push them forward. Well, that was like a

Speaker 0 (55:54): lot of people in college that I knew that dropped out. I'm like, it's the easiest it's ever been. Why are you dropping out? It's really well, isn't really that easy because it's all on you. Whereas a lot of it was on you before to show up to this place at this time.

Speaker 0 (56:08): Now it's you need to open your laptop, press enter, and then show up kinda. Like, I remember taking Napster during gen ed classes and stuff like that while I was in the Zoom meeting. And they'd say, oh, you're still in the Zoom meeting. Are you there? I'm like, oh, yep.

Speaker 0 (56:21): Alright. But I don't know. But then you still have to

Unknown Speaker (56:24): do all the work because there was

Speaker 0 (56:26): a lot more homework, I think, during the pandemic that you needed to follow through on like modules and whatnot instead of in class work, which was really self reliant, which a lot of people don't have. You know?

Unknown Speaker (56:36): Yeah. But you got that from where they had I mean, you were doing two and three hours of homework in third grade. That was

Unknown Speaker (56:42): just stupid. Ridiculous.

Unknown Speaker (56:44): That was the dumbest

Unknown Speaker (56:45): That was

Speaker 1 (56:45): thing and the the type of teaching I'd ever seen. And now I'm sure that if you were this super bridey whatever that that maybe they do stuff quicker. I mean, I remember when I was in elementary school, I finished my homework in class before I left.

Speaker 0 (57:06): We never had time to do that.

Speaker 1 (57:08): Yeah. We always had ten or fifteen minutes at the end of the class and say, if you can get your homework done, and I would do, like, 95% of it, and then I would do it the next morning before I handed it in. And it'll be like, no. And and and I'm thinking like, and I would see your stuff come home and I'd be like, they gave you nine pages for one night? What what what kind of crazy?

Speaker 1 (57:30): Dumb. You know?

Speaker 0 (57:31): It was very, very insane.

Unknown Speaker (57:33): Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 0 (57:34): But I think that that you know what's funny is I think that formula of that abrasive work ethic. Like really transitioned into high school because I remember a lot of people that I went to high school with just didn't do the homework and they're like, well, what's the repercussions? And I'm like, but I would feel physically ill if I didn't complete it because you as a kid, you feel scolded. Right? And that transferred over into high school where I would feel physically ill if I had finish a project.

Speaker 0 (57:58): And I finished all my homework. You know? And I did

Speaker 1 (58:00): all my Remember the remember the trip, from Zurich

Unknown Speaker (58:04): to Zurich

Unknown Speaker (58:05): on the train?

Unknown Speaker (58:06): Oh my

Speaker 1 (58:07): had a twenty six day break, and you had 26 pages of math.

Speaker 0 (58:12): There And were no repercussions every day. Finishing it. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (58:15): That was the horrible afterward. But I remember Even in

Speaker 0 (58:18): college that would happen, which was disgusting. Like, I remember finishing 15 page papers. And then, like, the there's always that one guy that or, like, five people that were like, can I get an extension? And it's like summer. He's like, yeah.

Speaker 0 (58:29): Just finish it at the end of the summer. And, like, at the end of the summer? At the end of the summer, really. They're like, the schools are too soft now. Yeah.

Speaker 0 (58:37): Especially college.

Speaker 1 (58:39): Well, but but stop for a moment. Stop for a moment and look in society. And look at what are the what are the repercussions for people today. The people in power don't have consequences, or the consequences they have are mild. They're mild.

Speaker 1 (58:55): They're not the same. They're different. If you're if you're poor and you have less, your consequences are significantly higher.

Unknown Speaker (59:02): Consequences were switched.

Speaker 1 (59:04): I think we've shifted from anger to to something different. You know?

Unknown Speaker (59:12): I don't know.

Speaker 1 (59:13): But I think about you know, I I remember there that I was so angry with the school for giving you so much homework over the thing. And I remember matter. It didn't matter. It was just Yeah.

Unknown Speaker (59:24): It didn't matter at all.

Unknown Speaker (59:25): And it was like

Speaker 0 (59:26): because I think like 70% of the class didn't even do it. And then mister Hall was like, okay, fine. Don't even turn it in. And I was like, are

Unknown Speaker (59:33): you serious? No grade.

Speaker 0 (59:35): You're serious. No grade. And it's also at the same time looking back like being in elementary school, they were scolding me for not memorizing certain things because I thought they were too hard and I would just rely on the extra credit. And they were like, that's a bad thing to do. I'm like, it's a bad thing to strategize.

Speaker 0 (59:48): Like, I don't understand. Yeah, that's Like if I can't comprehend this thing, then why is me relying on the extra credit that I actually know a bad thing? Like, I remember that too. Wow. And then, it it was things like that that I don't know.

Speaker 0 (1:00:00): Makes me makes me think about the education system. I can't imagine.

Unknown Speaker (1:00:04): Bad teachers.

Speaker 0 (1:00:05): Like now. I think it's I feel like it's really easy now. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (1:00:08): Well, we had good teachers and bad teachers, right?

Unknown Speaker (1:00:11): Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (1:00:12): I mean, you can count the bad teachers on your all your fingers and all your toes and about half the hair hair on your head. You can count the good teachers on your left hand.

Unknown Speaker (1:00:21): Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much.

Speaker 1 (1:00:22): I I probably could say I mean, I had averaged a good teachers most of the time. I had a few teachers that that I thought were I mean, my worst teachers were at Old Dominion. I mean, I had a I had a English sixteenth century English history or something like that. The guy that taught us all this about Chaucer and all that.

Unknown Speaker (1:00:47): Yeah. I hate that.

Unknown Speaker (1:00:48): I I I remember I hate

Unknown Speaker (1:00:50): He would

Speaker 1 (1:00:53): we would read it was all reading, and, I loved it. I liked it. And then it was interpretation. Right?

Unknown Speaker (1:01:01): Mhmm.

Speaker 1 (1:01:02): And he would be in the audie he'd be in class, and we would ask questions. Well, why is it that everybody settled on this symbolism? And his response would be, it's settled by minds that are much sharper than yours. There's no reason for you to to try to question this interpretation of this poem. And you'd be like,

Speaker 0 (1:01:34): okay. Similar things in my English degree as well.

Unknown Speaker (1:01:36): You want me to do is pare it back whatever bullshit that

Unknown Speaker (1:01:39): you have Exactly. You have eaten Still the same.

Speaker 1 (1:01:42): Lines of bullshit If you wanna do

Unknown Speaker (1:01:43): it now. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (1:01:44): And it's like, I see, to me, art and stuff like that is always like and that that made me angry. That made me angry walking out of there. I that I still remember that guy. I still remember him saying it, and I was thinking like, you know, I'm not allowed to punch a teacher in the face because, you know

Speaker 0 (1:01:58): It's still the same way too because I remember the TA that I had for English 3001 was, like saying, oh, I was a biochemistry major, but I decided to get my doctorate in English. So therefore, I'm so important because I'm making the sacrifice. I'm like, one, that sounds like you're just trying not to get a job. But two, it's at the same time, his great sacrifice resulted in him knowing absolutely everything that had to do with medieval game playing specifically in the Green Knight short story. And apparently, everything I wrote was just a c.

Speaker 0 (1:02:29): I So was like, okay. And it was funny because the professor because that's the TA. The professor graded one paper a year or semester, I guess. Yeah. At the end of each semester.

Speaker 0 (1:02:38): And I got an A on it. And that was the the professor instead of the TA. And I was getting like C minus C. There's nothing I could do. I would literally rewrite it too and it was the same grade.

Speaker 0 (1:02:48): I'm like, I don't understand. I don't know. It seems like his sacrifice resulted in a sort of bias of his teaching style. Right. He

Speaker 1 (1:02:55): didn't like you. No. Exactly. That that I mean, that's another thing that you lose when you're Oh, 100%. I mean, in writing.

Speaker 1 (1:03:01): In math, it's simple for the most part because, you know, two and two is four. If you put five, it's wrong. You know? You can argue all you want that it should it should be five and the reasons why, but it should it's four.

Unknown Speaker (1:03:13): Exactly.

Speaker 1 (1:03:14): But in English, if you write a paragraph, it's like, well, is it good? Is it bad?

Unknown Speaker (1:03:21): Is it readable? Is it

Speaker 1 (1:03:22): Is it readable? Are the words spelled? Is the grammar right? Is the indentation right? I mean, all that stuff.

Speaker 1 (1:03:28): You know?

Unknown Speaker (1:03:29): What are you gonna do?

Unknown Speaker (1:03:30): Make your points, put them together, shoot them out, and we'll run them down. You know? Well, I think

Unknown Speaker (1:03:33): that's our episode. I think

Unknown Speaker (1:03:35): Oh, yeah. I think we're we're over.

Speaker 0 (1:03:37): Well, thank you guys for listening. As always, check out our website and the YouTube. We have full, linked episodes on there.

Speaker 1 (1:03:43): And we'd love to hear some expressions on anger.

Speaker 0 (1:03:46): Yep. Tell us when you were most angry in your life. That sounds great.

Speaker 1 (1:03:49): So can I if I inter if I interrupt you three more times, we'd be angry?

Speaker 0 (1:03:52): Seven more times.

Speaker 1 (1:03:53): Minimum. Seven more times. Okay. I'm keep keep counting, folks. We gotta do that.

Speaker 0 (1:03:57): Alright. We'll talk to you later. Bye.