Episode 99: Loneliness

0:09 Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of record My father. Today we're going to be talking about loneliness. I, I think I came up with a, an idea recently on my trip about being an only child and when you lose your parents and how you're lonely in the world. And I thought that this was an interesting concept. Well, is that a loneliness or that's alone? You're alone. You'll be by yourself. But the theory is that that you know you. That's why you make connections, right? Yeah, yeah. But I've been 20, above the age of about 40 that I know has three friends. So I don't know, really interesting. It's an interesting concept. Yeah. Well, then people, I don't know if that's really true, because then you have people, large networks of people at least don't see people as much because I think people get comfortable in the house. They do, yes, that's something.

0:55 Yes, I would say that as we get older, we're our, our, our families become our primary, our immediate family becomes the primary thing. Like my brothers and sisters, I see quite frequently, you know, or, and I talked to and so does my so does my wife. We see her family quite frequently. And when you think about it, though, it's like, you know, you, I mean her, her mother, it's 8284 and she sees her every week because she's at a point where, you know, as you get older, you start to, you tend to realize that there's a limited amount of time. You know, when you're, when you're younger like you is like you, you don't even see that you have 4050, sixty years.

1:38 You know, you're 26 years old. I'm 65. I'm what, almost 40 years older than you. So I realized that I got people dropping dead around me. Well, you know, what I'll ask you is, you know, like when you're like 5 or 6 and a day feels like forever because it's in comparison to your whole life, Right. And how? Yeah. And how the amount of time? Every day gets shorter as you get older. When did you really start noticing that the days were shorter? Probably I started setting, you know, I don't know. I, I can't, I have to. I, I just thought that I didn't, I didn't notice it. Now I notice that they may be shorter, but they're not filled with this much.

2:27 I mean, I used to have, my days were filled with tons and tons of things. And when I, and when I worked, they were done with work and people and food and this and that and that. And now it's just like I eat less, I weigh more, I do less. I'm physically, you know, what do you call it? Feeble. Well, yeah, you're just walking outside and you're breaking your ankle these days. Yeah, I know. I just. Did it again. Do you think you broke your ankle? I I fell down on the on the shed. I slipped on that thing. I told her that and that messed up. That re injured my shoulder and. They just got surgery on. Right. And then I had, what was it to I, you know, I, I, I walked too far and I reenter my Achilles because I have a torn Achilles tendon and it takes supposed to be 6 months and it's, you know, and, and every couple weeks I just think it's feels good and I go for a long walk. And then I realized that I messed up. Well, that was the thing that I was dealing with when I was 15. I broke my ankle and then I I went back to skating, I think a month early.

3:34 Yeah. I don't really regret it. I think I'm good. I don't know. It doesn't. It didn't, it didn't bother you 'cause you're younger. What was on the growth plate as well? It wasn't like I shattered it. I didn't shatter the the ball and socket joint. I just shattered or I just. That's what I did. Like the yeah, that's bad. Yeah, the growth plate is really bad or really good. Really good. Not that, but yeah, being alone versus loneliness, I would say being alone. I you can enjoy being alone. I remember the pandemic. I didn't really bother well. You and mom are, by the way. You're more introverted. Whereas me, I if I'm alone, I'll just die. Yeah, I will just wilt and die. I needed to. I need to recharge though. What have you recharged?

4:14 You never recharged. Me. Yeah. How was that? Typically I sleep. Well, without, what can you do it? Like, can you recharge? Like say we're on vacation, right? With 20 people, could you be around them all the time, every day? No, no. Usually by day six or seven. I usually plan this in all my travels. If I'm going with a couple of friends, we always have this get the hell away from me day. It's the only way to to because for some reason, when you're with someone that you're not married to or not really, you know, you, you get tired of them for whatever reason, you they're you're not with them all the time and they might have a nuance. They might, they might butter their bread different than you do and you just, it just fucking annoys you for no reason And, and it's just and you need just a break to not do stupid things. Well, there's some time you.

5:06 Know I found that for me that that makes it really, really, really enjoyable. It's like, ah, we're going to go we're going to go hiking today. You do your thing and we would do just do different things when we travel with couples and stuff and it's it's just wonderful. I'm I'm lucky traveling with your mom. We we get along really well. I mean, for the most part, she's not always wrong, but when she is, you know, I feel the brunt of it. You know what it is too for me is vocal. She doesn't. Listen to these so I can say anything I want. Vocal intonation after a certain amount of days together, just kind of like the person's voice pisses you off. I don't know why is that?

5:46 After a certain amount of time with somebody, you're like, man, just the way you talk bothers me. I really would want to know what the the the medical kind of sign is for that. I know it's just being around them too much, but it's why in the beginning was I not bothered by the way that they spoke, but now I am and the. Opposite of loneliness. Well, they always say that when you marry someone, those cute little habits will turn into annoying pains in the asses things. The honeymoon. I like the. Yeah, I like the way you crinkle your nose. Why aren't you always putting your nose like a prune, lady? You know, I like the way that you do this. Why you do that all the time? Well, because you said you don't like that. I don't know. I don't like it that much. Well, that's the four month period, yeah. They say it's like, you know, you're in love with somebody after four months.

6:31 Really. I think that that's what it was. Yeah, 'cause I don't think it was about. That yeah, I kind of felt like I was in Lubbock probably. It was pretty quick. Were you? Proposed after six months What? Was it something, well, like that? Yeah. Yeah, that's that's pretty. But you were like sure, how old were? You 3030 thirty. That's right, 2930. Right there. OK. So I met her and we were inside of five months. We lived together, you know. I think at that age too, I don't know, 'cause I think we're. Ready. We're both really ready for a stable relationship where the person wasn't I.

7:12 I have never been a person who wanted someone that was going to be with me, that was needy. And that was, I mean, I'm somewhat clingy myself, but I don't, I don't, I, I don't want to think for a woman. I don't want to make decisions for a woman. I want a woman to make decisions for herself. And and I want to be in a relationship with someone where, well, you know, the man is the head of that. No, I don't fuck that, that I, I don't, I don't get that. No, I shouldn't. I shouldn't be critical. I should say that works for some people, but it doesn't work for me. Well, that's not. Completely true, because when you she had me she she no longer worked and I think that that.

7:58 Well, she didn't want well. She's part of that kind of thing that you're talking about. Oh, where I'm the leader. You're the breadwinner. Yeah. Oh yeah. Breadwinner, yeah, but I didn't. I didn't care about being the breadwinner. That wasn't something that seemed to be. I was always in any relationship. So it was an option. It wasn't necessarily like you're going no, OK. She when she had the kid, she could have gone back to work if she wanted to. But, you know, and it was like, and we were making at that point, I was probably pulling in about 500 KA year. So there really wasn't any need to. And we're living in a house that we could have, we could have bought three of them every year, you know, we weren't living in an expensive place, you know. And so we moved here, you know.

8:42 Yeah, we, I mean, we, we had moved here and this house was probably about one year's salary, which is really, really, really cheap, you know, when you think about it. And I never bought another. And, you know, and, and now it's like what, five times that, six times that, something like that. But I mean, for me, I, I never once we got to a point where we didn't. She, I, I was more, you were her project. You were more, she took care of you. She she takes care of you and that makes me happy. She makes the doctor's appointment. She does all the stuff she did, all your IEP and your whatever, the IUD shit and all that weird stuff. You got IUD.

9:31 I do actually have three they they keep forgetting to take them out. That's becoming a problem. Yeah, you got to get those. But but that, that was something you know well, you're an only child, but you, you, you didn't seem to be lonely. No, because you find your own fun. That's what you do, right? You make your own fun. And I don't know, it's kind of interesting to looking at other people that have brothers and sisters. And I remember early on I was like, man, that'd be great. And now that I'm older, I think the world out there that I didn't have a brother or sister because having that the focus from both parents is nothing short of a dream, I think. And I think that a lot of people say, well, I love my sister, I love this.

10:15 I'm like, but you would have killed for a lot more focus. I think that that is the thing that is undeniably true is that a lot of people would get that up in a second for more focus. And more. Yeah, I mean, interestingly, if I if you would have been the 1st or the second, I mean, would I have done what I did? I mean, if I had a second kid, she would have to be over 40 or we would have we we would have had to get lucky earlier, which. Adoption. That would be the only other. Adoption But I, you know, I really, I, I would adopt only if she had it in her heart that she wanted to raise a kid 'cause I mean, I, I could give a flying crap. I just rather throw money at the problem, let somebody else deal with it. That's not something that I'm personally invested in to raise a kid. I mean, now I look at it and say, wow, that'd be kind of cool to grab kids that are farming out. But then it's like you, you got a history of being a I. I have the same kind of deal and that I would only ever have a or raise a kid if it was my own.

11:14 I don't know why I feel the same way 'cause it's the 'cause I think internally I'm a selfish person. I'm a narcissist. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not arguing. I'm not. I think it's 'cause I'm a narcissistic person and that's why I would never adopt. That's why people, that's what people say about when you give, you know, you give, if you give money and get and stuff like that. And it's like that you're, I mean, I do that for me, 'cause I'm selfish. Like, oh, that's you can't believe that, you know, And it's like, no, it's just it, it's for me. It it makes me happy. Yeah, but I don't know if I've ever been lonely. I don't know if I ever. Lonely. I don't think I've been lonely. Sure. I think without you.

11:55 Oh, well, yeah, I think. Well, it's only when there's a great quote about loneliness, and it's only when you're thriving for other people around you, but you can't have access to that. I think that that's what that is. Are you you? Well, when you realize it, that's the. Yeah, with the realization if. You're sitting at home by yourself and there's no one there and there's no one in your life. Then you become that, that I guess depressed. You know, depression is different. Not depression, more sad. Do you think it's rooted in the loneliness? I don't think depression is rooted in the loneliness necessarily, but one that maybe in the not it's a good. Trigger I'd imagine. Oh, a trigger for sure.

12:36 But the inability to overcome a chemical imbalance in your head, I think is more so because I think, I think, yeah, depression is a is a chemical imbalance. Yeah, in your head, it's like a lot of. Things, you know when you say, but, but I mean, if it's an imbalance, does does it mean that, Well, what if everybody's supposed to be that way? Then it's like, is it really true? Well, I think depression, more so now than ever, exists because you have a phone that alters the endorphins on your day-to-day basis. Yeah, we don't have the, we don't have the, the, the connection. I see that people don't have a connection with each other. They don't talk, they don't have a conversation. They have a they have a texting battle and back and forth.

13:19 And when I text people, I don't know what they mean. I I don't know if you said good morning or or good morning. I don't, I don't know what your I don't know what your inflection was. I don't know all those things, you know, and on a video, the video like this, I get a lot of it and I see it. This is better. But in person, you can't beat in person for reading people. If you, if you, if you care for someone and you want to read like you can tell, you can tell when they squish, squish their fists up or something like that and they look sad and you, you just you know that those are those are signals. Well, your endorphin. Baseline now is so much higher than it was like in the 90s. I imagine 'cause now you'll get a phone in a boost your endorphins.

14:06 So your body's expecting to operate at this high level at which like you're constantly high kind of in a way. And then when it goes down, you're like, well, why do I feel so weird? Why do I feel so weird? Because your baseline's up here. And then when you're not on your phone and you're not the kind of around technology, you're getting seated by the, the backlight, you're down here. And that's why I think that we have people killing themselves. Isn't that weird that I think it's like over half of US gun deaths are suicide related I think. That's, that's the, that's the big thing. Everyone. Most. Most of them are. People talk about gun violence in this country. I think they should really talk about mental health. Suicide and then and the number one killers are the the veterans that come back from wars cause they've seen shit that you know ain't natural and ain't normal.

14:51 You know, you see your friend blow his face off and you're he gets killed in front of you and there's and you can't do anything about it. And then you come back from a war and then people start talking about the war, saying that it was a waste of time and money. So you went because you thought you were fighting for America. And then you turned out that you were just fighting somebody because George Bush was pissed at him. Also the the public health programs or not the public health but the the VA is not great. Yeah, well, it's it's better than it was. Oh, certainly not since World War One. Yeah, I would completely agree it's no longer as shell shot, but. As it gets better, yeah. No, that's for sure. I think my father had PTSD but I also I don't think they ever. He never did anything for that in but. Storm of Beach getting shot if he gets shot at, I imagine you're well, he was shot, you're going to have. So and run over and and beat up and you know many, many, many things.

15:42 I'm going to say that you have PTSD from even getting shot at to begin with, let alone other things. Well that's that's. It's weird because the the tales are there, but when I look for the documentation I'm having trouble finding other documentation that shows that he did something. Might have stretched the truth, I don't know. Well, yeah, I have no idea, you know. I think a lot of people stretch the truth. I mean, especially if you're going over there to fight, you want to be remembered as a hero, not necessarily somebody that didn't do anything or. It does show that he was a he was a lady. He did the beach lead shows that no doubt in absolutely. It shows that he was in Okinawa. It shows that he was there.

16:24 It doesn't show that he was in the Korean War. Well, the weird thing is is that was. MP, wasn't he? Yeah, but it doesn't, it doesn't show him being in the Korean War. And now here's the weird thing. He met your, her, my mother. Then I think, Laura, I'm not. I can't figure out how he gets out of the military and ends up in Marion of all places. This guy is, You know, there's no military in college. No. After Graduate joined the Army, she was a whack for about 6 or seven months and then she got an honorable discharge and like 51 or 52.

17:11 And what that was is I believe she became pregnant and I'm not quite sure. And then they had a birth certificate for a baby and a death certificate. So I think the kid was born, stillborn, died, I don't know. Very odd. That is odd. You know, but that was the first of like, my gosh, because we would have had that would have been somebody older than Edwin. And how old is Edwin going to Robbie? He's 70, yeah, he's 70. But we had but and then the old man had a sister, 70, I mean, had another daughter and she's 72. She's older than Edwin.

17:56 She's two years older. So think about that, you know, that he leaves one and then or no, maybe she's 74. He's like four or five years older. Not that much, but it's really odd that he goes from woman to woman and has kids right away. I. Feel like a lot of people did that back then when you went to war 'cause you. Well, he kind of like when. He went to war. That was with the first wife, not with the second or third. Exactly. My mother was a third wife. I'm leaving and I might not see you again. I think that's all what a lot of it was cause. But no, I don't know. Because if you think about it, they didn't really know about the death toll until it started. Yeah, but then when did he did he go at the beginning or well, what time he knew I.

18:43 Don't know. I mean, he said he was in Korea. Oh, in Korea, but before that? Oh, before that he was in 41. The Pacific, right? Yeah, No, he went, he, yeah, they went to Japan. They were in Okinawa, that was. Not the beginning, so lady. Yeah, that was the beginning for us. We didn't remember. Remember, we did not. We did not get into the war when it started. The war started in 39 when Hitler was attacking Poland. We sat on our hands and said we don't want to be involved in that. And there was a great separation at home. We don't know. We don't want to go over there where the foreigners are and do that. Why we want to help the foreigners.

19:24 We hate the foreigners. And we want, you know, we are a very isolationist. We're very, same with Woody Wilson. We were very isolationist. After Pearl Harbor, yeah, we only. One Pearl Harbor, then we're like, well, we got to do it now. What are you talking about? World War One. World War One, World War 22, same way. Same way. We you. Know, and Roosevelt knew that if Hitler took over Europe, that he was going to, if he, if, if, if the UK fell that eventually they'd come for us, you know, it wouldn't be right away, but they wouldn't, you know, and he'd have Japan on the other side. And slowly but surely they would. And Japan had already defeated China for all.

20:05 And, you know, it's like, holy crap, you know? Yeah, but I haven't been lonely lately, I gotta say that. Yeah, I don't think so. Have you been lonely lately? I guess a little bit, but I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm kind of used to it now, 'cause, you know, your mother's gone. She went to, when she went to New Mexico. I'm here for 9 days. I, I deal, you know, But I mean, I don't know if it's loneliness or it's like, it's just different. It's different to be in a place for an extended period of time, more than a day or two, when I don't have any contact with people unless I make the effort, you know? Well, the house you live in too is pretty isolated. Yeah, I live in.

20:50 New York, I wouldn't have a problem 'cause I'd go out and go to the corner coffee everyday and I meet people and I talk to them and it would just be that whereas here I have to I, I, I end up going to Giant. I go to Giant a bunch of times. I go, I go shopping. I you know and. But it's the thing I realize about McLean, VA is everybody's in their own thing because there's not like a lot of social clubs kind of deal. I don't know, maybe there are maybe more. It's more for younger people, I think. And like Rosslyn, no. No, I think there's there's older. Yeah, Ross. People. Social clubs. Yeah, they don't the, I don't know where, you know, they have painting classes and stuff like that. And I'm thinking, oh, I'm going to join some of these and do learn how to paint or learn how to do pottery or whatever. But I just got to, I got to get motivated. And if you go to like Spring Hill, they have they have classes that you go there and Golly says, shoot, there's a million old people and she we're going to do this Chi Dong, whatever that is.

21:48 Oh yeah, we did that about 10 years ago together. I remember that. What is chi Dong? It's they have the, it's like a gong meditation thing. No, wait, that's different. That's a different thing. No, that's the it's more like Tai Chi if I remember. Yeah, yeah, this is where you you're doing funny little stretches and stuff like that and makes you feel better about yourself. Yeah. No, no, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, I don't think I have been. Well, I've been with somebody for the past 13 days. You and. Yeah, me and Christian were in Mongolia and then Korea. So I I was actually starving for the time to be alone. But what's really cool about him is that, you know, you go on trips with people and they play in every minute and every hour and every second and you're going to be bound at the hip.

22:29 He's not like that at all. It's very. We could do our own thing except when we were doing the research work. But after that, yeah, we had like 3 days and we had multiple, multiple hours apart, which is really nice. Yeah, you need that break. You do, or else you go crazy. And these little things, they do bother you, no? Amount of alcohol in the world can solve that problem. Well, that usually that that exacerbates the situation. You know, you get, you get a little drunk and you're like, fuck you, you know, and you're like. But then you smoke the cigarette and then you're fine. And then yeah, that. It all melts away. It all melts away. Well, I smoke the cigar so but we know they're they're worse because they're wet cigars. 30 cigarettes.

23:13 Why are you making yawn man? What's going on? Yeah, I don't. I don't I'm. Lonely so that that must be the reason that I'm yawning. Well, how you going to mitigate your loneliness? What do you think? Me. Yeah, I need. To you know what? What is it? That old ad I used to say life. You got to live it. You got I got to make an effort to join different things and go to different things. Well, you used to go to a gym too. That was a public gym. Or not, maybe not. But I made one at home and it's better and I can I can substitute other things. Is it better though? I don't. I don't know if it's better. No, no, it's not better. It's absolutely not better. But right now I am. I am injured in so many places that a gym is not something I can really do.

23:55 It was an idea about what? Other. That's what I say. You know what? You're fired. I'm making this about me. It's going to be called a record of my Zach, and you're done. You're cut from. The team a record of my dad being a Dick, you know? What we're going to do, it's going to be and you're no longer going to get the Gillette Fusion razors we've been getting in the mail. Really. I'm not sending them. Do you? I'm not sending. Them. That's not fair. I. Want to go check my PO Box? Really. I I haven't done that in about a couple weeks, yeah. I think we sent you something didn't. We, I've been away. Oh yeah, yeah, I got that a while ago. That was about a month ago or so. Oh, it's your. It's your. Speaking of loneliness, it's your birthday coming up. When you what? What?

24:35 Do you want for your? Birthday May 29th. Anybody want to send them a gift You got to send? You one? Yeah. For my birthday I'm thinking about 3 Rolexes, maybe 4/2 for each wrist. So you can be like. Rolodex. You can eat Rolodex. Watch right Flava Flav? No, you got a Rolodex. And a big one from my neck too. Just a giant I. Remember that one? I had the that had Who was it? Mao SE tongue. Oh, I actually, I'd like that. If you could find that, I would love to go to Watchmaker, make that work. That'd be sick. Yeah, that was cool. That'd be really cool. I think I know where it is too. It used to be my everything drawer that I had when I was a kid and which I put rocks in from the yard. And mom opened it one day, I think, when we were redesigning my room.

25:19 And she's like, what is this nice, though? That's the everything rock drawer, and there's about 40 rocks in there, Yeah. Well, I need to bring rocks in from the yard. They look nice, they're good looking rocks. I mean what? What do you mean what? What kind of question is that? I. Don't know man, you surprised me. Sometimes no, but actually many times you do. I kind of want another drawer like that. The Rock. Drawer. Instead of the sock drawer, you want a rock door. Rocked or I also want an Oregon accumulator. You know what that is? A who? An Oregon accumulator. Oregon. Oregon accumulator ORGUNEACCUMULA What is it? Tor It's a box.

26:00 It's a metal box with a chair. Think like, think outhouse, right? But it's smaller and it goes in your regular house and you go in there and you think really hard and then you you exit, you close the door really quickly and apparently it harnesses the energy from your mind and it exists in a box. William Burroughs used to use these in every single place that he lived and he lived in. Wasn't he a heroin addict too? He was a heroin addict for about 50. Years, yes and no, wait, sorry, 39 years. But he was a a big believer and it's a huge pseudoscience. But I mean, it's a really a pseudoscience if it works. I don't think so. I don't think it's a pseudoscience if it works well. The question is, is. When you say it works, that's the, I mean that's the problem that they have with the current guy that's in Health and Human Services Kennedy, where he's saying that the vaccine doesn't work or this does and this does work. You should take some Corykin or something like that. And in reality it doesn't work.

26:55 They have they don't have any studies that prove that those things that he's saying to take or do actually work OK and that's that's the that's the problem that's really a problem when you give miss different page to people, especially when you do it from a position of power. Well, I think it's kind of interesting there's. This comedian that was reviewing the the Kennedy kind of deal about the the summer Easter egg hunt for autism. And so the comedian was putting it and he's like, by the end of the summer, we're going to figure out what gives people autism, whether it's the way you raise your children or if it's from vaccines. And I think that it's funny that I think isn't it just a genetic mutation? Like I think that that's what we already know about it. And that's, well, there's, I mean, and I think the.

27:37 Some of the stuff they say is just absolutely stupid. You know, we never know. We never had this many kids have autism and we never did. And it's like, well, but we didn't know what it was. OK, Well, I think also people. Kids don't have polio anymore. They used to have polio all the. Time and what happened? They would die. And you know what happened? Vaccinated them. Well, that's what happened too. You have. These parents that are vaccinated for smallpox and they're like, well, I'm not going to vaccinate my kids. And then their kids die and then they're sad. And it's like, I think that that's, well, the the worst. Of the ones that say I'm not going to get, I'm not going to give any new kids measles vaccines when their kids die of measles and you're just like, oh really?

28:19 They die on that hill. Yeah, they die on that hill. They die on that hill. And that to me is like. If I had made a mistake and I had believed something and it made you die, I would not. Well, maybe I wouldn't. You can answer a question for me. Is it better to be alive and sick for a period, period of time or dead and not sick? I'm gonna go with alive and sick on that one. I'm gonna go alive and sick on that one. I mean, I think that. That if I could live and be healthy for 65 years the whole time or I could live and be healthy for 50 years, but I would, but I would live to be say 80 and my last 30 years would be sick. I would take 65 healthy.

29:05 You know what I mean? I mean sick is in like. You get measles and you actually survive. That was the point of the the analogy. But yeah, no, I'd rather be alive and sick. But no, I mean, not really. But if, if we're talking vegetative state, no. Well, people always people always. Say that they get, oh, I get sick from the vaccine. It's like, well, you know what it is? It's, it's because people, it seems like people don't understand what it is that it's absolutely. It's a little piece of the. The the, the disease itself and they're in and they're getting your immune system to build up against it. So if you were, if you were going to have a really, really, really hard time the first time, if you get really sick from it when you get the vaccine, then you were, your body was totally unprepared to get sick from it 'cause you would have just died.

29:54 This kind of goes back to our whole. Conversation on how America doesn't understand what socialism really is as well. And it seems like there's been these misdirections in MIS education. But it's also on purpose though, 'cause you see the the textbooks that are sold in different States and that sell better than the others. But back to loneliness. Yeah, yeah. Do you think the loneliness is? Is makes a high suicide rate. I feel like I don't know. Well, you look at China and you look at other countries like that. Japan, they're overworked, they're overworked. They're not lonely. Do you think they're overworked more so than they're lonely, or do you think it's a common? I definitely think it's a combination, but I don't know. Well, Japan.

30:36 'S yeah #1 suicide. I think it's Japan. It's the overworking and then the. Embarrassment with comes with not meeting project deadlines, I imagine, which is which I guess is being isolated from a main group, which is kind of lonely. How you think about that? Yeah, when you're fighting. Against the group, it's hard. I mean, you, you've done that. I've done that. It's very difficult to fight against a a large group and to disagree with them. That's true. But you know I mean. That's been pretty much my whole life. When I think about the different businesses that we started and people said, oh, no one's ever going to do that. And you're like, I disagree, you know, Well, that's what I'm doing now. It's like, I'm gonna go shoot this project in Mongolia and people are like, but you've never done a feature before.

31:19 And I'm like, I know people who are almost 40 that say, well, I'm not really ready for my feature. I'm not really ready to shoot a feature. You got to fuck it up now. When are you gonna? When are you gonna be? Ready. I mean, it's gonna be ready. There's so. Many people that. Say that that are never ready, you're never, never willing to jump off the Cliff and it's like you'll die then and you'll never have done it. And it's just 'cause every day is a gift. Every day that I wake up is a gift. Every day that I wake up when I get to use my legs to walk to the kitchen or use my, my mind to think of picking up my phone and being doom scrolling for hours on it is a gift. And I think that that is incredible. But at the same time, you can't squander the gift without having to take some sort of risk. And I think that that's, that's the biggest truth. That's the biggest truth, yeah.

32:05 The risk, the gift. Is earned well, that's what I want. I mean when I there there's nothing you can do to make me more proud than to live your 20s Find out what truly find out what true direction makes you happy. You know I mean it would be cool if you went and got your four year business degree got out became an accountant or a lawyer and did the whole thing like that and you had this structured thing going up and everybody would be they could measure you against society and things like that. But I think the fact that you're doing something that to me is harder than anything I ever did, but that that's what it's just like, wow, that that I can't imagine, you know, when you started out and you're going after acting and then and then you're now you're doing producing and you're like, no, I'm going to, I want to be AI want to, I want to be a executive producer.

32:55 I'm going to do this. I'm going to well, it's because I'm going to do this. I'm going. To do this. You know, and I'm like, Oh my God, this is just. And to see it happen, it's just from beginning to end, soup to nuts. It's just like, that's wild. As soon as I did that last project. I'm like, why am I not doing this under my own company? I should just do it under my own company. Yeah, 'cause that's what a bunch of famous production houses have done. Is it just whether they realize that they're amiable and that they're good at one finding funny, but they're also good at reading a script or putting together a team? And I think that that's what I realized that I'm good at. And then more so, I also like the, I think the acting classes I was taking. I was shaking before every single scene. I'm like, I don't like doing this. I don't like doing this.

33:40 I like creating the art and doing the team and then even standing behind the camera and associating myself with the different shots that we're taking. We're coming up with an idea of shooting a full length project in that's foreign country and establishing those relationships. I love that, but I don't like being an actor. I don't enjoy it except for the time in college. For some reason, it was different than I think that it was. If I had more access to stage work, I think that I would be more apartment. But camera work is just nothing short of the 9th circle of hell. I think I would. I would say yeah, Yeah. Oh. Wow, but you don't think you're lonely? Not really. Ever since I I'm pretty well surrounded with people and and that's another.

34:26 Thing that I've done is that I've I've been conscientious and reaching out to people from my past and making sure that I see them periodically. That's what I just did for the one. Way or the other if I don't do. That I won't ever. We'll never be friends. We'll just drift away. We'll drift apart. I, I, I started, I set time frames. Like when I meet my college buddy. I meet him every three months for we do. We do lunch at his house or my and I said, I don't care if you come or don't come. I'll drive there every time. I care less because I'm going to you matter, you know, and I have like the shaws. They matter and Conrad matters and Jim matters and Jose matters and there's all these people in my life that matter. And so I make an effort to to reach out to them because I think that's important.

35:11 Isn't it funny how? You can know somebody for 50 and you know, let's say if we're infinite beings and you've known somebody for as long as you can remember and when it comes down to driving, that's when human beings start to split airs. I think that that's really that's really interesting travel. It's coming in your. Direction. But then I remember, I mean, we had relatives that lived in Southwest Virginia and they would come up and we lived in Woodbridge. They would go to the Potomac Mills Mall, up the Potomac Mills Mall, which was 5 miles from her house. And they would stay at a hotel there.

35:51 And they would not tell us they were in town. I mean, we, we would come over like you. I don't think they like, I don't. Know, I think everybody kind of. Hated us. I think they, they, I don't think they liked you. That's why, yeah, they. Don't I? They didn't like my. Mother, they didn't like my father. They didn't like anybody. And so it sort of seemed, you know, I think that was it. Yeah, probably so. And I don't know if it. Was deserved or? Not, you know, you can't. You can't 'cause you weren't there at the time. Well, I know I've met a lot of. People in my life that I off the first RIP, I don't like and I'm like, why would I try this again? That's kind of like that. But then I do, and there are some people that I've These were relatives, though these were not. These were. Relatives. I think that that's a very. Abject thing as well I think that the idea that these are like brothers of my mother OK I mean if you had a brother that. Would be like that, would be like Edwin coming here and coming to McLean and eating at the third. Cousins or something eating this eating at the Silver diner. And not telling me, oh, I went up to Tyson's, I was shopping there and I and I and oh, you were here for five days and you and you didn't call.

36:59 That's crazy. I would be like. I I would be. You're kidding me, for some reason I read this more. As extended family and not necessarily oh extended family like uncles. Of cousins if it was like a. 3rd I was reading this as third cousin I wouldn't care but this was. No, these people were, you know, direct relatives and you were just like, that's that's fucked off. Yeah, no, that never mind. I take that. Yeah, they were. They were. That's a little crazy, I mean. You know, preachy. And all this kind of stuff like that, but just abject assholes, I would say. Yeah, no, that's. That's pretty terrible. That's Yeah, that's so. That's awful. Yeah, that's what I. Thought that's not great. That's bad. That's what I thought. You know, oh wait, what's the?

37:40 Runtime here. Oh, we're at about. 40 minutes. 40 minutes. OK. What are you getting old? You can't talk. As long as you used to. Can you? Well, the muscle is an. Exercise right now. And I'm also still jet lagged AF. Yeah. Got back yesterday. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, we could fill the last 10 minutes with that. Where'd you go? I went to Mongolia and then Mongolia research. I actually messaged somebody and they said here's my cultural correspondent. And then I met with a cultural correspondent. She drove us with another man who was a local celebrity, not local, I mean local celebrities in the entire country. Like he would walk into people's houses and they would be like, oh, you're that guy from that movie. It was crazy.

38:27 And then we did like probably 9 interviews on our protagonist. So we're doing we're. So the research phase of the the project is done with the project is a feature link documentary and it's going to be broken up into three different people's lives. And it's about a lot of things. It's about the effect that mining has had on Mongolia for the past, since Soviets laughed really, and how you've had these foreign entities come in and rob the land of its nutrients. And it's about memory of what was before this happened. And it's also about what Mongolia has always based on and how Mongolia has taken over the world twice with the strength of its horses, and now its horses are also implied of the stoicism that is in the people there. And I think that that's really what it's about. Wow, That's exactly what it's about. And no, there it was.

39:23 The hospitality was nothing short of probably the best thing I've ever seen in my life. Hands down the most hospitable people. This guy's walking in people's houses, and I was like, he knows these people, right? She's like, no, he's never met him in his life. And it was just nothing short. They didn't shoot him. It was a gift. Exactly. That's what we were saying, was like, you walk in somebody's house and, you know, it's your dad. She was like, really? That's all I want. I'm like, yeah, yeah, they're stupid. Yeah. Because your immediate thing is. To think bad? No, exactly, we think. Evil. Well, Canadians even leave their houses open all the time. They just leave their front door unlocked. And this one guy was like, well, the worst thing that ever happened was these. Teenagers came and took like 1/5 of my liquor or something.

40:04 Left and he's like, oh, OK, yeah, that's not that bad. Not that bad. But yeah. Then I went to Korea after and I saw Thomas Clark, who I've known for 15 years and. Yeah, fifth grade. What are you? How old are you? In fifth grade, Like 10? Yeah, about 15 years. Yeah. So I saw him and then I saw my friend's friend who's he's since middle school. So probably more like what is that in like 10 years? And then Thomas is doing well. He moved to Korea. Is it the Tank Engine or no? That was that was a that was a low joke. Try to make him funny next time you like that. I was you trying to be a comedian. That was that was pretty flippant. Yep, it was.

40:52 And then, and then it came back. Yeah, it was 13 days, but then we're going to go back in August and then we're going to shoot the whole bunch. Yeah, you're just, you're tanking my. Trip, I blame you the the trip you planned. Today I'm going to, Yeah, I know. I'm going to call them and I'm going to. Tell them that we have. Well, maybe we can go later, but I have no idea. I think August is like the month for doing that because it's so cold otherwise. You know they, but they. Have a whole bunch of trips in June, July and August. Those are the big ones. So we'll probably go in 2026. That's what I'm thinking. OK, you know, I, I'm just thinking I'll do that cause and I really want to do, but it's 14 days and I was like, that's a long time. That's a long time. I mean that that's the, that's the. Kicker I I was like, that's 14 days. That's painful.

41:35 We certainly won't be lonely. Watch it 13 and I'd say 11. Day 11. I was like, OK, we're in Korea because we kind of, it kind of added like a company retreat aspect to it because we were doing research for 9 days straight every every single day, 24 hours a day we were on except for the 8 hours we were sleeping. So I guess not the full 24. But yeah, that was really rough. It was really rough. And but we overcame and then we made, did some of the best research, no, the best research I've ever done in my life. So incredibly rewarding experience. And then I was like, we, we need, we need some sort of relaxation.

42:17 So I went to Korea and it was great. And I relaxed and I saw some people and I learned about Korea and now I'm back. It's funny, I'm waking up here. I'm like, where am I? Because I woke up and I was like, I asked my girlfriend like, where are we? And then she's like, we're. In my apartment, I was like your apartment where because I've been in like, Oh my God, because it a hotel. It's like I I never stayed in a place in one day more than like or one place more than a day. And it's just been yeah, go, go, go. Yeah, it's been. Go, go, go. We've had trips like that. Yeah, it's hard when you when you travel every two days then that's why the wife and I won't.

43:00 Yeah, we go places. We, we, we have to stay two to three nights in every hotel 'cause it's like if 33's optimal, but 'cause then you get a chance to land and take, take your underwear out of the suitcase. Otherwise it's and you can't. And we, we generally don't stay longer than 10 days anywhere. Yeah, I'm glad. We even Sicily was long. I was like, yeah. And that was 10 days. And it's like. OK, that's that's, that's plenty well, I think in hindsight. Well, there's two different generations of thought here. With your generation, it's like, oh, having a plan and like going somewhere with a plan I go, no, I really don't have a plan anywhere I go except if like this kind. I kind of did actually. That's not true.

43:42 I had a whole guide. Yeah, but she messaged me one day before we left and so but I already had like 6 or 7 meetings set up there anyway. Right, right. So like we went to the, she did a lot of stuff planned. She knocked it. Out of the park, like the translator and the driver were nothing short of a miracle. Didn't you say they're going to be dead soon? Because. They're so old. No, Well, he's like. 60 something and then she's like third forty. Oh, she's not going to be dead. Anytime soon? What's his name? Big Daddy. Big man, big. Man, OK, that's funny. Yeah, he's celebrity. I should. I'll link their SO. That guy is a celebrity. The one the pictures he's a celebrity. Be well, he'll just.

44:24 Go out and we were talking to nomads. We stayed with one and then we stayed in a mining camp and he they'll just be like, we know who you are 'cause there. He live streamed a portion of the documentary on Facebook Live. Cause what it's about, I'll just explain what it's about. It's about these horses, they run back to their birthplace 'cause they remember where they're born. And so they run like salmon 3000 kilometers. And then there's a story about this horse that went to Vietnam, is a Mongolian horse, specifically a Mongolian horse, and ran back from Vietnam all the way to Mongolia to where he was born. And it was a true story. And he's been basically recreating these stories. And it's, it's turning out to be true that these horses remember where they're born, which is crazy. And so, yeah, it's, it's amazing. It's it's really amazing stuff.

45:16 Yeah. No, it makes you think about. It makes you think of. Yeah, well, salmon do that though. Well, you know a human. Goes down the woods, they get lost, and then they statistically walk around in circles. Yeah. And then? We and then we die 'cause we're stupid, yeah, you know, yeah, that's what they. Do yeah, Salmon. Do do that, yeah, they the. Same with a lot of fish, actually. Birds, I don't know, sense of direction. It's really well, that's how the Bears get. Fed Oh yeah, because they're. Swimming upstream, yeah, I mean, bears living the same. 5 miles for their whole life, you know, in the area, but a it is what it is more like 30 miles. 40 miles. Or it might be, but then again.

46:00 It can't be if that's what it is. Well, mant if it's. If it can't, 'cause then it chant, right? Well, that's what it is. That's what they say it is, but I don't know. I mean, I they, they think that that's that. But is it really that if it's kind of close to it? I don't know. I think we're coming to the end here. I think we are. So thank you. Guys for listening as always recordmyfather.com find us on all social media platforms and we'll catch you next week with another episode. Maybe I kind of like this which riffin it's just great. I'll show you and we got a little bit as. We go. We'll show you. Our Social Security numbers next week. Stay tuned for that. All right, bye bye, everybody.

46:41 Bye bye.