Episode 126: Shaving

0:09 Welcome back. Everybody to a record. My father. Today we're going to be talking about shaving. I shaved down. I don't shave up anymore. I used to shave up on my neck. Apparently that's good to get ingrown hairs, but other than that I. Thought to me, what do you mean? I shave down. Down as in. You don't shave, you shave like this on your neck. No, no, no, not up on. My I shave. I shave up on my neck, down on my face. How do you do? You get a cleaner shave. You shave up on your neck too, obviously. Oh, yeah, absolutely. I I don't feel it. I shaved today and I can feel grit, but not not heavy. Yeah. But I'm like, I mean, shaving has just changed so much in the last four or five years.

0:55 I mentioned though. Yeah. What do you say? Go ahead. I was going to say I had the automatic shaver for a long time and one day I woke up and I used it and I realized I wasn't getting a clean shave at all and I was just ignoring it like it would be patchy. It looked really, really bad, you know? But your kid, you don't care. Yeah. And then I and then I grew up and I cared. I don't remember the first time I shaved. I learned how to shave on my own. I didn't have anybody. I watched my father shave for a long time. He had like one of those 1950 old Gillette straights, rolls up in the middle and top. The top opens up like a volcano. And you slept a razor in the bottom and then you sip it down.

1:38 And then he would, he would put hot water in the sink with a little bit of soap and he would or no, just hot water in the sink. Put the, put the stab in and then it would stop was usually a washcloth and then take the Saber and jerk, rake it down the side of the face, race it, you know, and then wash it off in the thing and do the up and then wash it off in the thing. And that was that. It was, you know, 3-4 minutes. I mean, me growing up, I, I'm trying to remember the first time. I don't think I shaved until I was almost 20, maybe because I I never did all that. I grew a little, a little goatee beard and one of those fake mustaches, you know, that you always see for like 19 year olds or 16 year olds.

2:28 Pencil mustache. Yeah, it was, it was sort of like it looked like it was. You wanted it to be a mustache, but you, you really weren't there. Testosterone or whatever the hell you call it, whatever makes the hair on your face wasn't there. But then within time, all that changed. I mean, it got from sparse, but I also had, I always had a chin beard. I would have to come down and I had like a little one inch. You know, a hillbilly beard is what we used to call him with a mustache. It wasn't his hillbilly was cool, you know, because that was cool. You know, I was not a hillbilly. Well, I grew a beard out from Mongolia. Yeah, that was the first time since the pandemic because I grew out a neckbeard during the pandemic.

3:10 Right now, right now, I'm 26 going on 72. Gosh, but. Yeah, you think about that. You think about the different, how long it took you to where you would get full facial hair and how when you were a kid, I mean, did you want a beard? No I never did because all the people I see that have beards, like I don't understand why I feel like they all look better clean shaven. I don't. I can't really. I wouldn't argue one friend, I think. Yeah, I wouldn't argue that. I would say that you do it or you wanted to do it. So it was Paul Bunyan, because when I was growing up, TV shows were like Grizzly Adams and all these people, they all had, you know, they were showing all the people in the cowboy days that had facial hair and beards and everything because, you know, shaving wasn't as prevalent.

4:02 I mean, it's funny when you look at the history of shaving and I pull that up. I mean, it goes back to, you know, 100,000 BC people used to shave with shells. Can you imagine that? That would hurt. I don't know about that. As early as 100,000 BC ancient Egypt, shaving was common for hygiene as a sign of social status using stone or bronze razors. Well, it's expensive. It's an expensive thing, right? Well, that's what that's you want to know what really does a clean shape for me other than the fact that I just got sold fake Gillette Fusion razors at the CVS? I'm using them. They feel like $2.00 razors, razor blades. They feel terrible.

4:46 I'm like, these are fake. I'm like, they sold me fake razor blades at a $38. Yeah, they were fucking $40. It was crazy. Yeah, that's what they were, four pack. It's insane, but it's it's absurd. It has to really do, no matter how hard the blade tugs on you, if you have a good shaving cream, it's amazing. You can really get through it if you have a really good shaving cream, which brings me to my next point. Women have shaving lotion, but they don't have shaving cream that foams. And what I started to notice is male bath products foam so that we know that they're working. Like she gave me this, my girlfriend gave me this lotion the other day.

5:28 I'm like, how do you know that it's even working? And she's like, what do you mean? I'm like, it's not foaming And I'm like, isn't that interesting? That you think that way. Yeah. I I would say that I had this. What is it? What are the, what are the guys that sell you the $0.10 razors now? Harry's, Harry's. I get Harry's through the mail and I got this aftershave cream, which I didn't realize it was aftershave cream and I took it as my cream. And that sounds wrong, but I on a trip and I and I put it on my face thinking it was shaving cream and it wasn't.

6:11 And I shaved with it, and I got to tell you, it was the closest, best shave I've ever had. Did it burn? No, not at all. It was great. It was so good. It was cool. It, it like it moisturized my face at the same time. I, I mean it was just like, and I use, I used to use shaving cream, but it dries my skin out really bad. So I use like a gel and I'm always using the sense of gel and all that. I know a lot of I have. Nivea, that's a good one. You know, I used the Nivea one right now that I'm almost out after about a year. Well, you know that like certain. People. They develop below the neck and, and predominantly black people have, men in particular have ingrown hairs on the neck and they have certain, certain special dispensation so they don't have to shave, you know, as close as you want because it's just nasty.

7:01 You know the the hairs curl and they because you got a real, if you got a real curly beard coming out And, and when you're 19, that's when you're getting acne all over your face because your hair's real curly when it first starts out. You know the olden days. Well, I got it's like. Acne from smoking I think. Remember my acne? My acne was. Bad. Oh yeah, you had the you had horrible. Pizza face, straight pizza face, cratering, everything. But Mom took it upon herself to do or have me do really, microdermabrasion, which I got to tell you like, I have the best skin of anybody I know. It's crazy because of microdermabrasion, this is basically kind of an ad plug for microdermabrasion. If you don't like your face and you have obtrusions on your face, go get some microdermabrasion. It's great.

7:50 I think Accutane too. Yeah, I did Accutane as well, but it wasn't really, it wasn't really. Well, the accutane of course helped but and it helped numb the whatever it is, the pituitary gland so that it's not overactive. But that's that's really what it does is shrinks your pituitary gland so that you don't release many hormones. But at the same time, what really helps after the fact 'cause you could take accutane, but then like you can have the worst pitting of your life. And what it's all about is what you do after is the micro. I mean, that's surprising that you don't have any pity 'cause you had. Microderm, that's why I'm you. Had like, like and, and you know what's weird is this foul.

8:31 It was worse than what I'd seen on a lot of on the worst acne I'd seen in college. I mean high school, high school, 'cause usually it's around 10th to 11th to 10th to 12th grade, right? In that zone there is when people just got just bad. Just really, really bad. 1011 yeah, because people start smoking too, right and then I think your body's like what are you doing what are you doing here and then you're releasing hormones and then every time you touch your face in any sort of manner it. Well, that's what I was learning just. Crazy, yeah. I remember in high school, that was the thing, you know, you, you always do. And OK, that's a zit. OK, that's a zit, you know, And then when you get them, you're like, OK, what do you do?

9:16 Do you pop your zit or do you, like, leave it to go until you get home? You know, and because you didn't want people to see it because then they'd all go, oh, you got a zit in the middle of your forehead. And it's like, do you know who knows that more than anybody else in the world? Me. OK. I never really cared. I don't know why. You're you're amazingly, you always ask, confident. Yeah, like why? You know, don't you care about how ugly you are? I'm like, not really. Maybe if you stop saying it all the time I wouldn't care as much. But no, I never really can. No, no, I always couched it with your fat and stupid too. So yeah, I think that didn't really work. I focused on those. No, I, I was, I do not remember ever being critical of your acne because I as a person in high school had acne.

10:05 It wasn't crazy, it was bad or every, every high school kids acne is bad to them, but it wasn't, it was like not even near what you had and it horrified me. It made me feel like I was the lowest, most disgusting, scummy person on the face of the earth because I had a zit that people would see. And yet everybody and and I saved up money to buy. Like I, what are all the different? There was all these different. There's that one brand that everybody took in the 70s, which I can't remember what it was called, but it was one specific white tube that everybody had. And I can't think of what it is right now because when I grew up, it was different time for facial kind of cleansers 'cause facial cleansers in my mind really burst into the market in the early 2000s, 2010 and stuff like that, 'cause then you started getting like the microbead stuff where it was like a scrub or something like that, and then you could scrub your face.

11:12 And what? Clear. Oh, Clearasil, Yeah. There clearasil and oxy. I did oxy pads. Oxy pad is what I was thinking. Of oxy pads, if I remember correctly, oxy pads to get a little jar of them was $9.99 in 1976 or 77 OK. Well, how much was that? It was over $9, I remember. Yeah, yeah. And for me as a kid who earned $2.35 an hour, I had to work a full shift after tax to take the money to be able to afford one jar.

11:53 And that's what I and, and. And it was weird because when it came on, it was first I was like, oh, what's this? Oh, it's acne. Oh, and then everybody going, ah, you got and, and it doesn't take everybody. It takes one or two people to set you off to where you're incredibly self-conscious because that's what happens when you're at those that age and you're, and you're all freaked out about it, you know, and I think by and, and it's, it's the most horrible thing in the world for you alone to face. And it's weird that nobody else has bad acne except you. Yeah, it's, it's really I And I gotta say that you, I am just amazed at what a strong person you were, that you were just like, fuck it. I never gave a care.

12:42 I don't. I don't care about a lot of things, you know, I don't care about. That's not that's not nobody had everybody else. Like they freak out when there's something wrong in society's terms with your face. OK, They do, you know, if you, if you grew A mustache and half of it was blank, they would be like, dude, that's that's weird. And, and, and, and, and typically if you, if you start pointing out about what's wrong with somebody, they will do one of two things. They'll either become defensive or self-conscious. And most people in their teens are incredibly self-conscious. So they immediately look inward and go like, oh, this is I'm uglier than everybody else. And even though, you know, everybody else is pizza faced and they're like it, it, it becomes that yours is much worse than theirs.

13:33 Even if they're completely covered and you have two, it's it's just a weird, this is this is my memory, not yours. You I was so impressed with because you were like, yeah, whatever. I, and I don't know if that was some outward facade, but you had the strongest character when it came to that and you had the most horrible acting I've seen, and yet you just whatever. Yeah, the only thing that pissed me off. Girlfriend, which was. That is true. And then she had sex with all my friends, you know, and that's what's, that's what happens when you're in high school and you know, and then you become miserable for the next 5 years. We're not going to talk about that. We're going to talk.

14:16 I was going to say that every girl that I've ever been in love with and dated before my wife is most likely had sex with a bunch of men after me. But then being close friends. Of yours, except for the ones that killed. Kind of terrible. I don't know. Just going to say that's kind of demoralizing when you're 17 and yeah, but at the same. No, you can't. You're right. You're right. I'm no, I'm trying to pull play it down and it's. Not laws with somebody that you break up with that you're not going to pursue their friends. And if you do or they the other party does, they are human trash I think.

14:58 That's kind of just what it is. I've never experienced that. Yeah, my life was a movie in high school. I really was. And it was a miserable movie at that, towards the end there. But you know what? It is what it is. I went to a public IV and then I'm really successful now. And you've got amazing cheeks. I do and I have really nice skin compared. I mean. Everybody I went to high school with, I mean, gosh. Yeah, I'm like really surprised. No, no, it's, it's incredible. If anything, I would do microdermabrasion at any age. I think that it is surefire way. I wonder if it has to do with loose skin too. If it makes your skin tighter because it's sucking all this stuff out of it. I don't know, probably well.

15:41 Well, that's more liposuction. I mean me this here is this is this is nothing but fat. Yeah, if I if I don't get. I thought it was skin. No, I was at the X-ray lady today and I was laughing about that and she was taking a picture of my neck and I was do it looking up like that and I said this is how I don't get fat and. She's like, I don't think it's fat, I think it's skin. Turkey neck. When you get older, it will. Well, yeah. I think what happens is is that right now I am. You'll love this. I'm 215. I'm 10 lbs away from you. I don't know where the weights from you, I don't know what happened, but probably 10 days ago about 10 something happened.

16:22 I was, I went down to like two O 520 days ago and then I blew to 2:30. I was 230 ten days ago and now I'm 215. I'm 15 lbs lighter, incredible than I was last Monday. Incredible So. You know, and I can usually I can pop 5 lbs in a day, Yeah, but I can't, I can't do it every day. You know, well, that was like you're supposed to go to Europe and then fucking lose weight. I came back, I gained 15 lbs. What the hell is that about? I don't know. You know, I don't know. Well, we've clocked like 25,000 steps a day. It was crazy and I came back.

17:07 I went from 192 to two O 5. You make your you're eating habits and you're working out habits. And I'm not even drinking that much alcohol either, which is like, that's kind of you got to watch out. You're brown, so when you say that much, what does that mean? Only about a gallon every other day, but that's not that much, you know, but. I think liquor, wine or beer. No, that's actually a big beer drinker. Big beer drinker in You're a, but not that big of a beer drinker, I'm telling you. Not every day, you're not. Not even every other day, right? Beer. 'S the fat man, That's the beer belly, that's the. That's what I tend to avoid. Gin and tonic is what I go for normally because if I drink too many gin and tonics then my stomach gets upset, so I have one and then I don't want to drink anything else because I have gin in my mouth, you know?

17:56 I mean, liquor to me is a bicycle. Yeah. I get on it and I ain't getting off it until I crash. OK, that's just the way it is. Only that applied for a real bicycle, you know. Oh my God. I don't know man, I ain't getting off this bike until I until I crash. Do you think you'll ever ride a bicycle over again? Honestly, I have a. Ridiculously expensive bicycle that I bought 10 years ago sitting in my Oh my God, I'm trying to think of the last time I rode a bike. It's been a long time. That's what I was. That's why I raised the question. I would like to do that. That'd be kind of cool, you know? Let's go. Ride a bike. Well, my, my 8th grade bicycle got stolen by I'm I'm not even going to blame it on a homeless or, or somebody like that. It's a management that.

18:43 Was an inside job. Hands down. Inside job and. Do you think we should war? What's his name about going there? That they'll steal stuff. No, no, no, that wasn't at that apartment complex. That wasn't at the Kenmore. That was at my current apartment complex. Yeah, yeah. And then I said my bike got stolen from the garage to the land award. She's like, oh, contact security. I said, OK, contact security. I said, can I get my security footage? They said, oh, can you give us $75.00 so that we can see who stole your bike? And I'm like, you know what they do to? They would cut the footage so that it was a whole day was 24 hours. I'm sure they would. And then they'd send, oh, here's the day of like your bike getting stolen. And then I'd have to cut the footage myself for $75. What a bunch of God, you know that. I was so disheartened.

19:32 I hope I there's a special place in hell for those people. You know I there really is. But I did. Have a security booth. No, no, it's it's contracted out to to another company and I never see security bought the so you know what you do you know what the cameras are fake too What? No, but you know what you do. What? Black paint. I'll just spray paint them. And spray it on the camera. You spray it on a camera lens, throwing it away again. Need a new one? You know what's funny is that? Just make sure you're not shot with a camera. You just spray it on there and go like well did you pay $75.00 for the footage to find out that I did it? Somebody came in and stole our packages.

20:13 Well, no, yeah, like the first couple months that I was there and they spray painted the camera in the lobby and they just cleaned the camera. They they just, I don't know how they did it. They got because there's spray paint all over the wall and I'm like, I can't imagine that the camera's that clean now, but. No, that's probably why you don't get, that's why they said we need you to pay us and you were like, everybody just leaves. So we asked to pay us. So we don't really need a camera anymore. Exactly. That's kind of that'll be $600.00 for the footage just for for your $200 bike. You're like. Exactly. Well, the bike was 400, the deductible was 400, and then it was going to be 475 for the whole thing. So I was like, fuck it, all right, I did it. Think it was that, yeah.

20:53 But I haven't, I, I mean, I have a really nice bike. I, I, I, I rode periodically. And then I, this has just been, this has been a year of fixing, Phil. I've messed up so many parts of my body that I haven't had that capability. You know, that's why I shave a lot. Well, if you think about it, biking is better than walking, hands down. Oh, absolutely, absolutely. When they talk, when they talk about running and getting yourself in better shape and stuff like that. I have a buddy Bob. Hey, we're going to the Rose Bowl with him. That, that he's a avid biker. I mean, he's like he's biked across the United States. He's he's you know, oh, he didn't Centurion today. And I'm like, what the hell is that? A century, which is 100 miles in a day, which I'm like, we did 14 centuries in a row.

21:38 You're whoa, you know, and I'm, I'm doing 9 miles and I'm like, hey, that I'm done. I remember the last time that I seriously rode. I rode 75 miles with Sod Quasi when I was in 7th grade. That was crazy. Oh my gosh. Like he had a phone pedometer thing that measured how far we went. We rode 75 miles in one day. That was crazy. Oh my gosh. Wow. Yeah, crazy, over the top nuts. Yeah. You can do anything at that age because you're not think about. Shaving. So you've had a neck beard. You had a regular beard, right? Yeah, yeah, I've had both. I've had a mustache for like 2 weeks. I had sideburns recently. Those are just trashy if you think about it. Yeah, you look really prostitute when you. When I looked at that, I was just like. I look, dude.

22:26 I think I need to hire you to like clean my trash cans or something. I looked really, really bad. The only way I'd do it is if I could disappear for like a year, grow some really killer mutton shops, then come back, then do it, you know? Right. But the process of growing the mutton shops is awful. It's a terrible process. I wouldn't wish it all my worst enemy, but that, yeah. When you get older, that happens. I mean, I can grow a beard in 30 days. Did he grow up mutton shops? Probably, yeah. You should grow some chops. Just I mean it's no shave November and I could, I could probably, I mean no shave November by 15th by faces covered, but I mean the last time it's like it's a white beard and you know when your wife looks at you and goes like I don't want to have sex with an older man.

23:11 Oh, that's that's. Great. You're like, oh, OK, so I'll shave. Stop at Santa Claus, you know. Santa Claus. Get away from me, Santa Claus. I'm not no present. I'm not no present. You do not look at Santa Claus as a predator, though. No one, no one does. But I used to when I mean, I, I checked it out a lot and I talked to a lot of the, you know, in business, I would meet people and I would ask them like, what is it that? And it turns out if you start to analyze facial hair, that not a mustache, but a beard. Facial hair in general is at best a neutral. A lot of times if I walk in and I'm trying to sell you something, I have a beard and you have a beard. There's, there's a court with, there's a relationship and it's like, whoa, that, yeah.

24:02 But it's like that's a rarity. Most of the time. If I have a beard, you don't have a beard and you either judge people differently that have facial hair, you know, or have an unkept facial hair or have, I mean all those different things. When you talk about image, when you're when you're when you're a customer facing person and if you're C level suite you, you're generally at some point you're you're facing either the masses in the company, the masses outside of the company, sometimes the press, sometimes there's all sorts of different people that you're looking to and you want to look, you want an image that appeals to the widest group. And if you think about the people that appeal to the widest group, think about the actors, think about the most successful actors and then tell me them, tell me the ones that have beards.

24:58 You know they always. Get beards after. You know after the successful, but they only have. Phoenix. I mean there a little. While and then he got rid of it. Oh, yeah, yeah, they always get rid of it. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. So it's it's just an act. And it's the same thing with like Brad Pitt. It's the same thing with every single person that comes through. They they get a beard and then they're done with it and that's it. It's to disappear, yeah. Into a crowd. I think that's. Because it's not, it's not it's, it's overall, it's if you're, if you're in the image business, it's not positive. Well, if you're working in food service too, you really it's disgusting having a beard. I remember I was at Din Tai Fung.

25:38 Here, I'll tell you another story. Went to an interview at Din Tai Fung. They didn't hire me for to replace sanitizer, what not. And you know what's so funny? I go in there and I see a waiter, a Din Tai Fung with a beard that has a beard net on. And I'm like, you hired this guy. You hired this guy. You hired. Is this really. Oh, my God. Yeah. That was that was a slap in the face. Oh my God. Yeah. That was great. I looked at him like, you just look weird, like with a beard net on. And imagine you go into a nice restaurant, kind of expensive, and and then your waiters got a beard net on. Like, what?

26:19 That's disgusting. Yeah. Shave your fucking face. God. No, you don't. I mean, I wouldn't wear a beard net. I don't understand that. No, I wouldn't wear a beard net. Yeah, I guess. I guess if you have a beard net, that means that that hair falls out of your beard. You. Know well, no, I mean it it's going to anyway and it's. No, it's not. It's. Policy to wear a beard net there. That's what it is. You have to wear a hair net 24/7 or something if you're entering the. So if they so if they find a cheerio on a plate, they know it's not from your beard. Exactly, exactly. I don't know. I don't know if. That's a good idea. I would like if I found a cheerio on my plate. I want it to be from a beard, you know? Yeah. You think about it. I mean, we talk about shaving and it's like. Shave my nose hairs today and.

27:03 That was hard. That's scissor cutting, man. No, no, I used to. I have an automatic 1. That's Oh yeah, they all. They need to reinvent that. They need to reinvent that. It's terrible. The the Rotoruder one I've ever used is bad. Yeah, every single one. I've never. Used a nose hair trim? That's good. Ever. Yeah, I have the one that has the light and makes the noise and and it doesn't really. It kind of goes and it goes, yeah. And that's when it hits the the cloth, you know? Well, mine has like the cloth to vard like this where it's like that it's. Like so you don't bleed to death? Yeah, but then a man the other day. Oh my God.

27:43 Ingrown hair in the in my nose. Oh God. Oh my God. You're making me hungry. I'm going to have, I'm going to have to make a sandwich now. Pain I've ever had in my life. And I broke my ankle and tore my tendon in my knee, ingrown hair in the nostril, Worst pain I've ever had in my life. Oh, my God. Yeah. And I was like, what is that? And then it took me a while, but it was that. Yeah, no, that was. My gosh. Very, very, very bad time. Oh my gosh. Well, I was back, back to shaving. I used to shave every day. It was just a matter of like even all the way up. I mean, I didn't retire till end of 2020. Even when I went in and out of of working, the most I would go is 2 days.

28:35 I'd skip a day and shave and then all of a sudden COVID came along and you didn't, no one cared. And all of a sudden you didn't need to. I didn't need to put on dress slacks when I went to the giant to pick up, you know, a, a, a, a, a pint of ice cream or whatever the hell. I could wear sweats and then I could put and and you know, I think it that COVID made us sloppier. Or yeah, yeah, what were you saying? We could argue. We could argue more comfortable. In your own skin, you think. Yeah, I was. I mean, I was so much more comfortable. I would love the idea that I would get up in the morning and as as an older person, all through my professional career, I would shower every morning and I would shave every single morning.

29:28 I would rake a razor across my face. No matter how many shots I had up until 2:00 AM in the previous morning, I would razor, I would cut my face razor, I would wash, I would shave, I would throw water in my face and I would go to work every single day. I do that. You know, COVID hit and all of a sudden it was like, is it necessary? I'm online, What's the big deal, you know? And then I started showering at night. And I tell you one thing, when you shower at night, it it, it puts you in a more relaxed mood before you go to bed and your bed doesn't stink. As opposed to showering at 7:00 AM in the morning and then smoking 4 cigars, drinking 17 shots, eating all sorts of nasty food, eating a bunch of garlic, and then going to bed with that stinky sweat on you at the end of the day.

30:16 And then waking up the next morning, go and washing all of it off. And it's like, you know, you just slept in that. So it's so it's like for me, it was a change of life. But also the shaving is something that I started doing. Like at first it was like, it was hard for me not to shave every, I would get up every morning, go like, oh, I have like right now I shaved this morning. I have, I have, if I, if I rub my cheek against yours, I, I could, I could rake your skin. He'd be like, ah, sandpaper. You used to do that to me when I was a kid and you used to rush you off. Yeah, yeah, I remember that. Good times A. Mean guy, that's what I am. But there were times, though, during the pandemic where you were not happy.

31:02 I don't know, because you're an extrovert and you were like, I'm locked inside. I want to kill myself, you know, and I never. I, I never had feelings that I want to kill myself. No one or two times, one or two times in my life I wanted to kill myself And, and those came and passed really quickly. And I would say, you know, but during COVID I was sort of like, I live. I am, I'm a people vampire. I'm a personal vampire. And when I go out like today got up in the morning, I, the guy came to check our generator and I made friends with him and I talked to him and I walked him through and I showed him where it was. And I'm showing where the box was. And I walked around.

31:49 I asked me if you wanted coffee and I said if you use the bathroom, it's every year and all this stuff. And I just kind of like, and he was just like the happiest guy. And then I went to what the heck, I went and had X-rays because I got to do all these X-rays for rheumatoid arthritis and just I don't have it. That's the right it is. No, they just want to prove that I don't have it and it's, you know, $900 to Medicare. I always love when I tell the doctor what I have and they're like, no, you're not smart enough to do any of that. And then 90 tests later, it turns out I was right the whole time. And what it is, is they they want to factually use all of the focus that they've had to prove you correct, correct.

32:30 Right. We want to be able to charge insurance as much as possible. I heard that right. Yeah. I went. I went and I saw the lady and Naomi. Naomi. Yeah. And she is at Fairfax Radiology. And I went there and I saw her again and I said I remember you. She goes, yeah, I remember you. And we talked and I felt like I was supposed to hug her, but I wasn't. I felt weird. Because you don't. You know, you don't know. People, that's weird. What would you do your doctor? Well, we kind of like look at each other. It's like because we're and she tells and we just start telling stories, you know, and it's just like I do that with every single person I know. And now I am so open.

33:11 I talked to the checkout lady. So how's your day? And, and you know what I do? When I went into the radiology lab, I walked in, I walked up to the lady and she goes, oh, hi, come over here. And then I hand her my stuff and I said, what's your name? Amanda? I said, oh, hi, Amanda, my name is Phil. And I shook, shook her hand and she just like looked at me and they're like people in the waiting room, like calling her by her name. And I do that everywhere I go now. And I talk to people and I ask because. You're holding up the line, that's why. Yeah, I'm that old like that. I'm that old fucked. No, I've seen that. I I've seen that 8 year old man do that to me when I have to be somewhere. You know why And.

33:54 He's like, well, you know my favorite color's blue and I'm like, you know why? What? You know why? What? Because nobody engages with us. Exactly. So we have to force engagement and the way we force engagement is through I since the beginning of this, since February, since the first tear I have had on average, I would say if you average it all out, I've had no less than two doctor's appointments a week. Oh my gosh. OK, I have had probably 1234 8 * 2 eight times, 416-1624 X-rays.

34:39 I have had 8 Mris. I've had, I mean just ridiculous amounts of things. And then there's the ongoing maintenance healthcare where you have to and there's the you get a prescription and then you have to go to another place to get your doctor to authorize the prescription they're giving. And then they don't want to have him do it and then they won't fill the one that you wanted to Nuts, nuts. But it's it's the healthcare system we live in anyway. That has nothing to do with shaving. I think razors have something to do with. Shaving. Shave your legs.

35:19 You don't do that. Nah, me. Either no, but I. Remember, you know. I remember your last girlfriend pointing out that my legs are like, do you race bikes? Yeah, 'cause her dad would, 'cause he was a professional cyclist. Yeah, right. And below my knees is naked. I have no hair. Let. Me see not let me see how I'm on No, I'm I got no, I'm good all the way down I got. A hair I have none. I have none below an ease. But I also wonder like, OK, what is that? Is that, you know, everybody I work with in concrete, they told me that if you work in concrete till you're 25, you'll be bald, you know, and I noticed it early on. It's like silicosis. Well, it's, there's something in the concrete that makes, I don't know, and, and maybe it's factually correct or studied or whatever the case. There's calcium chloride.

36:10 There's all this other kind of stuff that's in the concrete itself. And I worked that a couple seasons, but I also worked asphalt. I worked all sorts of different things. I worked asbestos. It just every bad thing that you're supposed to do, I was out there doing it and enjoying it. It's cigarettes. While you're doing it. Yeah, I was, I, I smoke. I, I, I was, I was like, I was like a smoker, like my mom, half pack a day. I really toned down the last couple years. I don't know, I've really, really toned down. I'm a. Cigar spunker now. Yeah. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm 4A day one a day, 2A day three a day. It it it just depends upon the mode that are or the whatever, whatever, however ever.

36:54 Shave your head. You ever shave your head? No, no, I I'm wondering should I get cancer and do that or not? And I don't. I'm not. Yeah, when are you going to go bald completely? The old man never went bald. I feel like his old man, yeah. What I feel like your hair now is acceptable, I don't think. It's not like so esoterically freaking patchy that you need to shave it, you know, like. Those No, it doesn't bother me. I just have a really big forehead, like somebody I know, yeah. You gave me the curse of receding hairline and then Grant now that's your on mom's side. Really fucked me up and. Gave none of this shit's mine. This is not my jeans. This is this is you need to yell at your mother this. Is not my jeans as you say it with a giant forehead. What do you mean?

37:40 What do you mean this is not my jeans? Now, and mine would have been if you were a girl. Yeah, I would have been an ugly girl, I gotta tell you. That biology, man, I'm just making the shit is up at I go. I would have been an ugly ugly. Girl, no. You've been beautiful. You'll be like your mother. For Oh, I guess you're right. Yeah, I don't know. That's a good point. I mean, if you would have got the jeans from your grandmother, well, then you would have been ugly. But. Well, that's kind of what I was thinking, you know, but. No, but the pictures of her when she was younger, she was very pretty and and just like my mother when she was younger, she was very pretty. That is true. Though it's very but it's very weird. To to look at your mother and say she's pretty. It's just sort of a Oedipus thing or whatever you call that.

38:20 Well, you're saying it's. That's not Oedipus. Yeah, OK. It's Phil Philippus. But no, I do look more like her. You're right. That was a good point. What do you mean the hair? You face her, I think, yeah. Well, I've have been told that Zachary is a chameleon, and when he is with Phil, he looks like Phil. When he is with Valerie, he looks like Valerie. And it's like, well, so maybe people notice the attributes that Phil has that are similar to his, like your nose is similar to mine. Yeah, I was about to say that. Yeah, the nose is similar.

39:01 Foreheads are similar. I mean you don't see a forehead like like yours. She doesn't have that but her dad does which is very interesting. You have How's your cheap separation when you look at this right here? I think that's her right. I mean, my, I don't have a divided chin. Clef chin. Yeah, yeah, you almost, you have a you had a hole. What do they call you? Butthole Chin. Yeah, asshole Chin in elementary school children are terrible. I hate them all. I hate, well, I would, I would say that the great thing about that is they taught you how to fight. Yeah, they sure did. You. You. Did. They didn't teach me how to shave, though, and neither did you. Oh my God, I just had to figure that out. But.

39:45 Did you bleed that much? Not really. I was just like, is this supposed to hurt all the time? And I think I come to the conclusion that it is because, like, what I do is I don't wait nine days to shave anymore because that hurts, you know? Then you're ripping it out. No, you can't do that. You got to do it earlier is better, but only to a certain degree. Like I shaved this morning. What the hell is it Tuesday? I will shave. Shave again Thursday. Probably by and probably at the end of the day, not at the beginning, because it's sort of like you just sort of feel like, do I want to go to bed? And do you sleep differently if you have different facial hair? No, no.

40:29 You shave your neck. Yeah, I do. You shave the front, you shave the back. Back of mine. Oh, that's a good question now. Yeah, I mean when you're. Old you get back there. I can't see what am I going to do? I'm going to get eyes in the back of my. I always do, ever since my partner is really funny when we went to a show partner with Global Security information, Longo Harrison, and he's looking at these guys, these sales guys that come in and it's like a, you know, and, and they looked sloppy. And one of the things that he commented on was the hair on their neck and that they were, it's like, what? Couldn't you just like clean up a little bit? People, people notice details.

41:19 And if and if you have a salesperson that's sloppy and you're trying to sell to a customer that's detailed, you're going to have a problem. And he's, he's absolutely right. And hair for me is that way I. Yeah, I can't hate you guys hair. But for myself, it's so hard to cut. I can't cut. Did you ever? See. I don't know how to do. It properly the office guy who was that? Michael Scott. Michael Scott when he did the Jesus thing. Oh my, that's a that's a deep reference, Bruce Almighty. Remember. Remember when he had nose hair? Yes, did you see the? Beginning of that when he was squirting shaving cream into his nose and taking a razor blade and razoring it out and. I vaguely remember that.

42:04 Yeah, Oh my God, it was, it was the most horrible thing. And I was just like, oh God, 'cause he had a nose that had this like the septimary exposed, whereas mine's not exposed. That's mine. Mine's exposed. The ears exposed so you have more problems, so you're going to have more, more craps showing up sooner than people like me. I can hide it 'cause I have little, I have little. What do you call them? Hole covers. I had chipmunk pouches up there. Chipmunk pouches. Well, maybe that's not the right. One, well, you see the ones where the people wax their nostrils on the inside, they get AQ tip and they have the black wax and then they put it up there and somebody tried to do that on the Internet and they weren't a professional and then they got stuck and they couldn't breathe.

42:50 It was bad. They had to breathe through the mouth the whole time. Really, really bad. Stupid. Well. You're not supposed to jam it all the way up there either, you're supposed. To go no, but also front, I mean there's a there's a point where you know, when you got people taking, you know, what is what are all the, the worms that people were eating the horse tranquilizers and all that kind of stuff to try to no, to stop ketamines on no chlori oxychloroform or something like that. And and it's a horse dewormer. And then they were taking drinking. There's people in the Midwest that drink bleach to get rid of COVID and oh.

43:34 I remember that, yeah. And. They had a bunch of people who go to the hospital. Into the body and say clean the inside of the body, you know? Well, you you you tend to worry that that should should you save them. Yeah, I don't know. I do want to get my nostrils professionally waxed, though, I will say that. Yeah, yeah, I do want to do that. I think that I think here's the problem. If you do that and, and as as someone who was a had his back waxed, it really isn't that big a deal when they do it and it looks beautiful for about four or five days and then it starts to grow back and it itches like nothing you've ever had. It's not like facial itching.

44:18 It itches beyond itch. But this is your notes. It's different than that. I don't know how, I don't know how it's going to, I'm telling you how it reacts on the back and then you want to get it done again immediately to get rid of the itch. And a lot of times these places that do this have things that in my case I'm allergic to. So I get AI get a virus and I have to take penicillin for five days. And that happened like? Some people get bacne really, really bad. From that, this is not bacne. This is this is a like, it's like Poison Ivy. Yeah, yeah. Bacne. Bacne is actually acne and I can understand that because I remember that when I was 1819 years old. I work construction and you have all that shit roll down your back and get dirty and you try to clean it. And then you get a, you get an ingrown hair or whatever and get a zit and you'd have to go against a post and try to pop it and all that kind of disgusting, nasty stuff. This is where they they strip your back, your back's whisper clean and the stuff that they're using of the hands that they're using of the instrument of the wax or something that they're using has something that you're allergic to. And or it has a, it has a viral amoeba that your body, your body has a weakness to.

45:38 And what I had is like some I had to take penicillin. I mean, just like getting the clap. Yeah, pretty much. But I, I mean, and I took that for five days and it had to kill it. I mean, it was like crazy. And, and this was probably two or three out of seven or 10 times. And I was just like, I don't care. And it didn't, you know, I mean, and, and it's like you want yourself to be presentable and beautiful and great looking for the regular world, but for the most part, you want it for your partner. I don't wax my back to go down water slides faster. That's. The only reason I did, I did it because I wanted to be, you know, I want to be Mr. Perfect Shape, like rich man guy that when you go out there that you're you're you, you have, you have the big chest and all that. And I was working out and lifting and all that. Where are you?

46:36 What? Was this I? Don't know the the first time, I tried it the second time, the third time I don't know the 7th. Time. No. No. When you were working I'm. Curious. I didn't know. The I'm doing it now. No, no, no. Consistently went to the gym when you were watching your back. I never. I never. Yeah, yeah. I did that with Matt for a while. I did that with before Matt, I had a different, I think I had a different trainer. I'm trying. To. Yeah, I know that different trainer that was Yep, like before you're born, you know, we're we're talking a long time ago, you know, and just just ugly, ugly, ugly. You know, you think about that. But shaving when you think about shaving, it's something that you start.

47:19 It's as as a kid, I wanted to shave, I wanted to have a beard. I wanted to do that. I got to the point where I could and then I couldn't everyday and I couldn't grow a beard and I want to grow a beard. I want to grow, I really want to grow a mustache. I want a big furry mustache because when I was growing up, like Tom Selleck, the big giant fat mustache is what I was looking for was a handlebar thing and I couldn't do that. And then I finally got to the came where I got all the facial hair and all that stuff. And then it's like I got to shave every day because I have to give, I had to present a certain image. And then at the end of that I was like, damn, you know, I went from never shaving to shaving occasionally to shaving all the time. And now I'm back to occasionally shaving and I'm thinking like, wow.

48:04 And, and there's times I thought I said, wow, wouldn't it be cool if you could take a pill And it was like a a facial hair growth suppressant? That's kind of like Nair. Yeah, well, you rub Nair on just takes it off. I think, I don't know what Nair does. Does it cut the hair or does it kill the? It doesn't kill the follicles, so it's going to come back, right? I don't know, it might. So you got to be, you got to be careful with weird chemicals on your face because you know the worst thing you want is something that only kills some of the follicles. Because right now when I grow a beard, I look like Santa Claus. Dude, I, I am, I am like full on old grandpa.

48:46 And a lot of people I work with are like, my God, you look old as shit. You know, they sugarcoat it for me every time. Pam on the West Coast, my God, you're old. Stop that. Can you get rid of that beard? You know, and I have people that just tell me straight to my face how bad it is. And I'm just sort of like. I don't think it's bad. I I never thought it was bad. I thought you look different, but I don't really think that it was bad. Well, grandpa is what it is and old and you know, right now with with Gray hair or white or whatever you call it, I look old enough. A lot of people by age dye their hair like black hair. And what do you think of that?

49:28 Yeah, a couple people had to do. That yeah, can't name them because you know too many of them and they're all and you're like, wow, you know how, how are you the same day age as my dad and your hair is jet black because your name is Ronald Reagan. Remember that? He was like 65. And they're like, does he dye his hair? People were actually asking that as if it was a a real question. And you're like, well, all these hairdresser really knows. And it's like, no, they don't. He he dyes his hair. Don't be stupid. Well that's like all those 70 year old men that have 6 packs and say, oh, are they on anabolic steroids? Of course they are. Yes, yes they are. And it's like some people say Oh well I'm not on anabolic steroids. I'm on TRT which is just testosterone replacement therapy which is still injecting testosterone in your body. So if you do that, yeah, I mean, doesn't that make your wee, wee smaller?

50:21 I mean, are you sort of? That's trinebolone specifically. Testosterone is different. Trinebolone shrinks your nut sack specifically, not your overall sexual function. Testosterone of anything is going to heighten. Encourage you. Function, yeah, which I mean, honestly, if you're going to the doctor this much, you should get a DEXA scan and then get a testosterone read and see how what your test levels are at and then see if you want to level it off and get it back to where it was. You know, I mean, like, it's not crazy, right? It's not a crazy thing to think about. So are you saying that you think that my my testosterone level is lower? I don't know, it really depends on what your muscle synthesis is like and how easily you're putting muscle on your sex drive.

51:10 And then also there's one other thing that I was going to talk about that testosterone leads to. Well, it's also, it affects your skin. It affects so many things. It's crazy. Yeah, it really does. Yeah. And no, no, your, oh, your metabolism. I mean, it affects a lot. A lot of things get AI mean. If you're going to the doctor already, you might as well do it. You might as well get your test levels read. I'm pretty sure it would be like another $4.00 to insurance or something but you never know. Medicare covers everything, man. Well, there you go. What do we have for time here? Oh, we're here. We're we're done. We're done. This is fantastic. That was easy. That's shaving. Come back next week and we'll do another one of these. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

51:52 That's on Thursday. We're recording this on what day? November 25th. Oh my gosh, 1125. 1125 All right, we'll talk to you later. Go check out the website. Bye bye.