Episode 124: Traffic

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Welcome back to another episode
of A Record of My Father.

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Today we're going to be talking
about traffic.

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I remember when I was younger,
the traffic wasn't that bad.

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And now in McLean, VA
specifically, getting to Tyson's

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Corner takes anywhere from 10
minutes to an hour and a half.

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You never know and it's crazy.
Well, I think, I think the

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traffic was better when you were
younger because you weren't

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driving.
Yeah, yeah, I think so.

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Was it always that bad?
I mean like when I was 5.

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And six years old.
Do you think it was that bad?

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I remember when my mother used
to go no, when I worked, when I

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first started my first job in
1985 would have been 93085.

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I started Charles E Simon and
Company and I was living at

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home, which was 1428 Randall
Drive, which is Woodbridge, VA

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where you guys don't want to
burn it down.

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And it was 22 miles to get to DC
to my office, which was 1333 8th

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St. and I was on I think the 3rd
or 7th floor.

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I don't remember one or the
other.

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And it would take me in the
morning.

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It was a nine to five job,
exactly 9:00 to 5:00.

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So you know, research for law
firms, the best makers,

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accounting firms, stuff like
that.

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And it's, you know, it's the
beginning of the precipice of

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all my whole career.
But it would take me, I would, I

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would book an hour and it
usually would take me 45 minutes

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and I would leave at 7:30 to be
there at 9:00 and I would get

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there at like 8:15 because I was
a real, I'm a, I'm a person.

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I have that, like some people
say Marine type attitude where

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if you show up 15 minutes early,
you're on time.

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If you show up on time, you're,
you know, and traffic is, is but

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but Fridays, every Friday I
would have to pee when I left

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the office, you know, like, and
make sure that you like double

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peed before you went to the
garage because I had to pay for

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parking then, which was like 5
bucks, which is funny that 5

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bucks for parking downtown DC to
drive home was 90 minutes.

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Oh.
My.

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God to get to from DC and it's
like you think about that you're

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like 90 minutes.
And then when I work inside, I

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mean I work construction Before
that, I remember I couldn't

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imagine that people in Newton
Asphalt, which was right off the

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Van Dorn St., people would
commute Westmoreland, which was

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2 1/2 hours each way.
Each day there are people that

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made from Culpepper. $6.00 an
hour.

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Crazy.
Coldpepper in 1982.

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Yeah, Culpepper's crazy.
That's you know, but.

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It's the same thing.
Or Winchester.

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Winchester, that's what.
It is or or or or.

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My nephew, your cousin Chris
commutes from.

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Where does he commute from?
I don't know Haymarket.

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Or like downtown DC, you know,
he's you know, what is it?

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Brambleton, right?
Wow, he's way out there.

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It's out Manassas past that.
And he commutes in the but he

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goes in the morning.
He goes at like, you know, OS 30

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and gets in before the traffic.
And usually I guess it's an hour

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and 10 or hour and 20 minutes.
If it's if you got no traffic,

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it's that kind of stuff where
you can just drive 100 miles an

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hour and get downtown.
And for some reason, the police

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don't care in the morning until
an accident happens.

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You know, they, they're there to
pick up the bodies.

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They're not there to save.
Anybody.

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I don't know when they've ever
prevented a crime, but they

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showed up after the crime has
been committed, you know?

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But yeah, traffic.
Wise, are you bad mouthing the

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police?
No, no, never.

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I love.
Them we don't do that come.

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On never, never, never.
I remember when I moved out of

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here originally, everybody says
get ready for the traffic and I

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said well, I'm from DC and
they're like, well, that doesn't

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mean anything And I'm like no,
no, it does.

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It does actually 'cause.
I think the traffic.

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'S worse in DC.
I think I actually just

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surpassed it.
I'd love to hear.

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Statistics on this I just I just
did a Traffic in DC is

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comparable too, and it's.
Traffic in Washington, DC is

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currently considered the worst
in the United States, surpassing

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even Los Angeles, New York City
in terms of average commute

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times and hours lost to
congestion.

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Average commute in DC is 33.4
minutes, the longest in the

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country, edging out LA which is
I just flipped off the darn page

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'cause I don't know what I'm
doing.

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Well that's crazy, isn't it?
33.4 minutes, LA is 30 minutes,

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New York City 43.5 daily
congestion is is.

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That's weird that theirs would
be longer, yet that would be

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worse.
Well, New York, you got a better

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train system, right?
You got a train system in DC,

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but it's not a better train
system.

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The return to office mandate for
the federal and private sectors

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messed things up.
Heavily used arteries.

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They don't.
They don't.

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There's not a lot of secondary
areas you can go to.

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That's the problem.
You know, you start looking at,

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but you start looking around the
country, around the world.

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You go to, you go to, I think
about all the different places

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that we've been.
That.

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Were Indiana.
India.

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Oh, India traffic was.
Crazy, right?

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No.
No, it was, it was weird, you

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know, I mean, I remember we
didn't drive anywhere.

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I mean, and, and our host, Neil
buddy of mine who invited us out

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there to, to come and visit.
This is in the 90s and we went

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over to Calcutta.
So we went to the poorest and

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most heavily populated place.
New Delhi is heavily populated,

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but not like Calcutta.
Calcutta has I think twice the

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number of people in New York
City and they don't have any

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tall buildings.
So it's kind of interesting.

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Everything's in your face.
There's, there's always a crowd

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wherever you're standing and
whatever time of day or night,

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there's a lot of traffic on the
roads there.

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All the but it's moving.
It was moving all the time.

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And that's in the 90s.
I, I don't have, I haven't been

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back since.
Everybody uses their horn to let

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people know what they're doing
and to tell people where they

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are.
It's a very common thing.

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So around you all day and all
the roads which are have cars,

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just tons of cars, all the cars
are beeping.

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I'm getting close to you, beep,
I'm passing beep.

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I'm in front of you, beep.
I'm going to pass that car,

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beep, I'm coming to a stop.
Beep.

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They it's just a constant
cacophony of noise.

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Crazy.
It's crazy.

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You know, night time.
I remember night time, the

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coolest, I mean, the the
craziest thing is that they

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don't use lights.
They don't have their regular

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lights on at night.
They drive with parking lights

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because it's rude to have your
lights on when you're driving on

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the road.
That's why, which I thought was

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kind of like, well, that kind of
like silly, you know?

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But the weird thing is, is now
here the crazy thing, if you go

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to pass somebody and you're and
have your parking lights on, you

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know what you're supposed to do?
What?

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Beep put on your.
Hot put on your high beams.

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What you put on your high beams
and you pass.

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And as you pass, you're supposed
to notify them that you're

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passing with your horn.
Like you come up to them and you

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go, I'm going to pass.
You go beep, beep.

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And then you cut out and eat
soda.

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Pass.
You cut on your high beams and

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you go around them and then you
cut your high beams off and you

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beep again.
When you get together.

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It's just the weirdest.
I mean, I was just like that's.

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Strange.
That's a little strange.

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You know I.
Never.

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I never saw a lot of traffic in
Peru, South America, Guatemala.

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I mean, there was a lot of
traffic, not a lot of traffic in

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Iceland.
It wasn't crazy there.

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It was probably China was
getting nuts.

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I remember we were China and the
guy said, he said you look

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around here and everybody
stopped everywhere.

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Traffic is crazy.
And he said 10 years ago there

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were no cars on the road.
And that was.

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And we were there in 2007, I
think it was.

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So he said, you know, before the
turn of the century, there were

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no cars in in Beijing.
There was it was all bicycles.

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There were 10 million bicycles.
Just every, everybody had a

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bicycle.
Everybody traveled by bicycle.

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Nobody, nobody had the money for
a car.

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And then they turned on the
whole capitalism thing,

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Everybody an opportunity.
Yeah, that was it, you know.

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Yeah.
And when they did that, then all

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of a sudden everybody started
saying, Hey, life is better with

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a car, but you know, is it?
And then length is better with,

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you know, because it makes more
traffic.

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And then, you know, you start to
look at Germany and some of the

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other places where they're
actually taking roads back from

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people.
They're making the downtown a

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walkable downtown with no you
park on the edge and then you

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have thoroughfares where you can
do motorized little scooter

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things and shit like that.
Well, the whole.

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Idea of the thoroughfare was
once a place where you would

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walk, where you would ride
horses or what have you.

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And then Henry Ford actually
passed legislation for people

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that crossed a thoroughfare
walking across.

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That is after the automobile was
invented to be labeled as

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jaywalkers to be fine for that.
And what is so interesting is if

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you think about all of the
roadway laws and everything like

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that, that's all been legislated
by Henry Ford originally, right?

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And I think that that's crazy.
He was, was he the one that

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actually he was not a
legislator.

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So he was he was more like a big
business person who paid

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legislators to.
I.

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Probably would say some of the
first lobbyists, I don't know.

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Do we have lobbyists back
further back?

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I, I, I don't know, but I'm sure
'cause I remember that all the

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thoroughfares were, were people
walked and the cars had to drive

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in between people and it was
difficult.

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And I'm sure it was difficult
when they got more and more

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cars, 'cause you look at the
western towns and you know,

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there's, there's 500 people on
the street, there's a bunch of

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horses and there's two cars
trying to.

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Can you imagine trying to go
through a crowd of people

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walking on the street and them
thinking, this is my street, why

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should I move for you?
Well, then you have the the

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inventor of the automobile clash
with people like Robert Moses,

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right?
Who wanted a more?

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I don't know but.
Accessible city, if you would

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say so, but at the cost of
getting rid of low income people

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and even farmers.
Like I remember there was this

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one thing that was like you
can't live within 5 miles of the

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construction of the highway or
something like that.

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There were all these farms that
were right in the line of it.

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And So what would happen is they
would go there and they'd start

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the construction, poison all
their plants, other plants would

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die and then they would die in
poverty.

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The people that were farming
there.

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And it's rather depressing cause
what are you going to do?

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You're going to pick up your
farm that you've been there for

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45 years, 50 years, 60 years,
maybe 2 family generations and

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then move it 5 miles away.
That makes no sense.

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So it's.
Cheaper to burn out your crop

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than it is to actually pay a
fair price for your property.

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And, and do, I mean, they, you
know, they try to do it now to

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some degree more so when they,
when the government takes your

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property for roadways and it's
always for the greater good.

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You, you see this all the time.
But is it, you know, that's,

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that's always a question when
you, I mean, what is it when

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they usurp your property?
What's that called?

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Eminent domain?
When the government uses that

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against you, it's pretty much a
king thing.

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I'm taking your shit 'cause
it's, I, it's better for

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everyone that it is for just
you.

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And the, the argument is, is
like, please define everyone.

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You know the.
Illusion of choices.

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00:11:41,760 --> 00:11:44,080
You know the illusion they.
Did that with the choices.

224
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,440
They did that with the wall in
Mexico.

225
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,280
They're building the wall across
people's properties and they're

226
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:51,880
they're dividing the property.
So they have less property, you

227
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:54,520
know, and the people that are
actually having the wall built

228
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,320
on their property are not very
happy about it.

229
00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:00,560
And you know, it, it, it hurts a
lot of different things,

230
00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,680
irrespective of which side of
what you're on.

231
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:07,520
They're grabbing people's public
land and they made rules so they

232
00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,520
could grab it faster because
every single one of those people

233
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,360
were, were the reason the wall
wasn't built in the first

234
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,840
administration is because
everybody was suing them and

235
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,200
saying, no, you can't have my
land.

236
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,720
You can't cut my land in half
with some giant 18 foot wall

237
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,680
that I can't get through that
doesn't have a door.

238
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,760
I mean, think about it.
If you had, if you had 50 acres

239
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,920
on one side and 50 on the other
and you couldn't get to the

240
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:33,520
other side unless you built a
tunnel, I don't know what you

241
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:34,720
know, there's no way to get over
there.

242
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,200
What do you do?
The government says, hey, we'll

243
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,320
give you a penny and, you know,
and your Land's out in the

244
00:12:39,320 --> 00:12:40,400
middle of nowhere.
What's it worth?

245
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,760
It's not worth that much.
And if it's been in your family

246
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,040
for a hundred, 200 years, you
don't want them to do that.

247
00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:52,160
Hell no, you know, and so on the
political side of things, but

248
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,960
that's not really political.
That's just like taking people's

249
00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:57,800
land for things.
And every, every administration

250
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,200
has done that.
They've all done.

251
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,400
I mean, I remember the Bush guy
doing it.

252
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,520
And I, I thought that was the
most horrible thing I'd ever

253
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:09,160
seen is I was in Texas of all
places in Dallas and they had

254
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:14,160
local news at six and they were
interviewing these people.

255
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,920
And there's a, there's a really
famous lake and I don't think

256
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:21,080
it's White Rock Lake.
It was one of the, one of the

257
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:25,640
big rock, one of the lakes and
in and around Dallas where the

258
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:31,360
rich people live, they live
right on the water and behind

259
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:32,640
them.
See, and they had bought up the

260
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:36,000
property like 50 years before
and a bunch of, and they decided

261
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:39,560
this is now going to be where
somebody developed the land was

262
00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:43,040
selling 5 acre plots to
everybody that was on the water.

263
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:47,560
Here's the problem, those pieces
of property were bought off the

264
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:53,120
pieces of poor people that lived
in trailers just outside and

265
00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:56,440
they had trailers and the
trailer was in the middle of the

266
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,560
property.
So they sold the front 5 acres

267
00:13:58,560 --> 00:14:02,280
for a bunch of money so the
people could put in a, you know,

268
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,720
make a little money off their
land.

269
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:14,080
Well, then the government passes
passes a special tax that if

270
00:14:14,080 --> 00:14:18,000
your property doesn't touch the
water that you have to pay a

271
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,720
much higher property tax than if
it touches the water.

272
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,720
Oh, wonderful.
Just I mean, just think about

273
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:28,320
that.
And that so that means that your

274
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:33,080
property value now is going to
is goes down, you know, in

275
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,800
relationship to the taxes.
So when these are poor people

276
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:38,520
living in trailers and they
could afford to pay the taxes.

277
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:44,040
Now here's the second thing.
If you came in, you wouldn't

278
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,280
want to buy my property because
you would be subject to the same

279
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:52,200
tax.
But if the guy that I'd sold my

280
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,640
property to that had a house
that touched the river, I mean

281
00:14:55,640 --> 00:15:00,360
the lake, if he bought it, he
wasn't subject to the tax.

282
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:05,800
So the rich people got to buy
the poor people's property for

283
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:09,960
pennies on the dollar and then
they avoided the tax and you're

284
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:14,240
like, it was like the most
shittiest legislation I've ever

285
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,120
seen.
And it was just like, you know,

286
00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:20,200
why do you need to rape poor
people that bad that way?

287
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,360
And that was a Bush thing.
That was when he was governor of

288
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:25,160
Texas.
It was just, it was, it was

289
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:27,400
horrible.
And seeing that and just going

290
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:32,160
like they did a, they did an
expose on on Dallas local news

291
00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:34,880
is what I saw it on.
I was just like, and they were

292
00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,360
and, and it seemed like the news
station was just like.

293
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,720
I just think it's interesting
that he moved from Massachusetts

294
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,480
and then manufactured his accent
so that he could pass bills like

295
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:44,720
that.
I think what y'all?

296
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,960
Talking about better.
That's the most interesting

297
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,720
thing is that he's originally
from Mass, which is crazy.

298
00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:50,840
Where is it?
Connecticut?

299
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,640
It's one of the two.
I think it's Massachusetts,

300
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:55,600
though, and that's always been
New Hampshire.

301
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,160
They're all the same.
They're all the same.

302
00:15:57,280 --> 00:16:01,840
He's a.
Yankee from Kennebunkport.

303
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:07,080
No, all all politicians are are
grand facade makers.

304
00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:11,160
But as we were talking about
traffic, you know, there's five

305
00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:16,360
lanes now on 495 or five or six
that they're opening up and it's

306
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:20,880
I've never seen people's
backyards like I have today and

307
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,520
that when I went back there's
you can see people's back

308
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:26,760
porches to the highway.
It's great by.

309
00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:30,920
Wave Well, you know, the cool
thing is that people up on the

310
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:37,080
hill that they hear it all that
because it's the, the noise kind

311
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:40,160
of travels up the hill there
there's giant walls in front of

312
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:45,160
the, the, the roadway on round
495-2030 feet high.

313
00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,600
But if you give up a little
hill, then all of a sudden you

314
00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:52,240
you don't have the you don't
have the brake of being able to

315
00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:55,640
avoid it.
But us, we're we're maybe.

316
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,200
How far do you think we're a
mile from?

317
00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:00,600
Not even a mile, but not.
Even half.

318
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,040
Mile from 495 we can barely hear
it because we're down in a hole.

319
00:17:04,319 --> 00:17:06,480
Yeah, we're.
We're in the swamp, so it's kind

320
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:07,280
of cool.
People come down.

321
00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,280
They're like, how come you don't
hear the road?

322
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,800
It's like, well, but we're below
it.

323
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,119
If you stand on my roof, you can
hear it really, really, really

324
00:17:14,119 --> 00:17:16,440
well.
So if I decide to build another

325
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,599
floor, which I'm not going to
do, that would suck because you

326
00:17:20,599 --> 00:17:23,359
would hear I.
Build a telescope floor.

327
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:27,000
You know, like the Series of
Unfortunate Events house where

328
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,000
you just start building floors
up and up and up.

329
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,800
There's that one woman that
started building on cave system

330
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:36,520
underneath her house legally and
she passed like all of this,

331
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,680
these whatever these documents,
these construction documents

332
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:45,160
where she's digging like I think
now it's like 1/2 mile

333
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:49,240
underneath her house and she has
all of these like welded beams

334
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,160
and everything like that.
It's like Minecraft underneath

335
00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:52,080
her house.
It's awesome, but you.

336
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:55,400
Need it, you know, I mean when
you go down, that's how you die.

337
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,400
If you don't, if you don't do
supports, you really no have to

338
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,360
new new mining structure.
If you don't know mining

339
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:03,160
structure, you die.
You see it all the time.

340
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:04,720
Where?
People, she has mine carts

341
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,040
underneath her house to take the
rocks out.

342
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,480
It's crazy.
Well, I mean, you know, you

343
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,280
think about the people that are
the, the, the billionaires that

344
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:16,320
are frightened and they have all
these bunkers now and they're

345
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,320
building bunkers underneath
their houses.

346
00:18:18,320 --> 00:18:20,800
And so they're escape bunkers.
In case, you know, the world

347
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,920
comes to an end.
I, and I mean personally, do

348
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:30,080
you, I mean, I don't think
there's a whole lot of thought

349
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:35,240
that goes out that if I was in
my compound right here, I would

350
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,760
run out of water, I would run
out of food.

351
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:42,320
I would have to shoot people to,
to get things right.

352
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:48,880
If I needed medical help, if it
was anything more than minor, I

353
00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,600
would just die.
Because remember in the 1850s,

354
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,160
before we had medicine or any
kind of good medicine, the

355
00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:57,880
average age for people was 35.
Well, the whole thing too is the

356
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,920
survivor.
It would just go right back.

357
00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:02,720
You know the.
Survival of the hyper affluent

358
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,480
would be those being
billionaires right?

359
00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:08,160
Would just mean that the
population of the world is now

360
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,920
what, like a third if not like
1/4 of what it was?

361
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:15,520
Then you could control way more
people and you could have a

362
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:19,800
better iron fist over all of it
and you could make them work for

363
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,000
you.
Similar to how John D

364
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:24,400
Rockefeller had all those like
mines, right?

365
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,040
You remember the mines where
they would just.

366
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,680
Spend their.
Paycheck in the mine and how

367
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:30,920
they would never really make any
money because you just go into

368
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,800
the rent and then it would go to
the food store and then it would

369
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:36,240
just go back.
Into company, town, company

370
00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:37,400
store.
Exactly.

371
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,560
And then you're always you
always owe them a little more.

372
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,440
Well, they they do that.
They do a lot with migrant

373
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,960
workers that they try.
I mean, you look at the migrants

374
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:49,080
when they work and stuff.
It's it's the conditions are,

375
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:53,480
it's the reason, it's a reason
why people don't pick tomatoes.

376
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:56,920
OK, 16 tons Americans don't
pick.

377
00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,200
You know, typical Americans are
not working in the fields.

378
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,400
They just aren't you.
Know you can say.

379
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,560
Whatever you want about
whatever, for whatever reason,

380
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:10,120
economics or otherwise, they're
not working, not and not in the

381
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,720
fields, they're not doing stoop
labor.

382
00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,960
You know, you know, it's crazy
16.

383
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,120
Tons.
Tennessee.

384
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:18,080
Ernest Ford.
That's a great song.

385
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,840
That's traffic.
What's the longest ever been in

386
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:24,440
traffic?
Me 5 1/2 hours on the way to

387
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:28,120
Delaware, Rehoboth Beach and
that's the day I stopped using

388
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:30,960
Waze.
This is an anti ad for Waze.

389
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:34,840
Never used Waze after this.
Waze told me two hours 45

390
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,520
minutes or three hours 10
minutes, something like that.

391
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,400
I said oh great wonderful get
driving.

392
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:42,720
It's like, oh, you should go
this way, you should go this

393
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:43,960
way.
And the next thing I knew, it

394
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:49,080
took 5 1/2 hours to get to
Rehoboth Beach, DE from Virginia

395
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,640
and I never used Waze ever
again.

396
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,800
It's.
Two hours 15 minutes for me.

397
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:57,000
Everybody said that Waze is
great.

398
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,640
Oh my gosh.
You know what I figured out?

399
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:01,480
They lied to you.
They lied about the time they're

400
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,640
lying, Manny.
'S yeah, that would mean

401
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:04,440
exactly.
There you go.

402
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,840
Lied to you then.
See.

403
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,400
Yeah.
But it here's the problem.

404
00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:15,640
It says if you leave right now
and you traffic is light 95 S

405
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,720
which is 25 miles away.
Well, here's the problem with

406
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,560
that.
By the time I get to 95 S, which

407
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:25,040
is 25 miles away, which is 30
minutes out, traffic completely

408
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,000
changes.
So in our neighborhood, in our

409
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,440
neck of the woods, traffic
changes in 45 minutes.

410
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,160
You know, in 45 minutes, an
accident happens here all the

411
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,400
time.
Traffic comes to a standstill

412
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,520
from flowing, and if it's
flowing finally, yeah, it's

413
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,240
going to be 45 minutes.
But if there's an accident, no,

414
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:42,840
it's an hour and a half.
It's same thing here.

415
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:46,400
Specifically, it's crazy, the
one in the one we were riding on

416
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:47,680
in Woodbridge.
That is.

417
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:51,280
Yeah, that was nuts.
Route 1 S worst Rd.

418
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:52,960
I've.
Ever seen in my life?

419
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,120
That was crazy.
Well, it's.

420
00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:57,920
Only two ways to go South there.
It was 95 or route one.

421
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,280
And we went and we were on 95
going along and it's like, oh,

422
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:05,440
and it said, I think it said an
hour and 5 minutes and we're

423
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:08,400
like, Oh my God, that's cool.
And then an hour and 5 minutes

424
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,480
into the ride, we were at
Woodbridge and it said, how far

425
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,800
do we have to go?
90 minutes.

426
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,760
And we were not that we were
doubting that we so we cut over

427
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:21,680
to route one.
We saw route one was, it was, we

428
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,520
went straight at Doxlog Cabin.
You look to the right and you

429
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,360
see the road, the Route 1 was
just clogged all the way down.

430
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,080
Doxlog cabin's not there
anymore.

431
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,480
That's just the road we happen
to exit off onto route one at.

432
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:37,480
So we went back the other way,
went up to RIP on land and came

433
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,280
around there, saw the old, you
know, my old stomp at Grounds,

434
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,760
Niasco Creek RIP on junior high.
Pointed all the stuff out to the

435
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:50,320
kid and showed him where I grew
up at my first cigarette, where

436
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:55,320
we drank liquor, where we broke
people's windows and stole shit

437
00:22:55,320 --> 00:23:01,120
and got in trouble and their
first felonies committed I think

438
00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:02,640
were there.
But anyway, that's another.

439
00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:04,640
That's an oh when.
You push the tire into the

440
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:05,960
traffic, he pushed.
Oh.

441
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:11,880
My God, that was so probably
still alive.

442
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,440
Going to get us.
Man, that was bad.

443
00:23:13,840 --> 00:23:15,920
We used to roll all the old
tires that way, 'cause they

444
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:19,440
would charge you, they would
charge you like a dollar.

445
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,680
This is we buy it.
My, my, my parents would buy

446
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,160
tires and have them installed at
Sears or something.

447
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:29,040
And for you to leave his tires
at Sears, they charged like

448
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:32,240
$0.50 or a dollar per tire then
or maybe 2.

449
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,000
I don't know what it was.
It was some number, but it was

450
00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,480
small, nominal, but it was a lot
of money to us.

451
00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,760
So she bring him home and go,
we'll get rid of, we'll take him

452
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,040
to the dump because it was free
or something at the dump.

453
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,120
And you know, there was a, there
was a cheaper way to do it And

454
00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:49,880
we would grab the tires and we
would, we lived at Randall

455
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,120
Drive.
So we lived top of the hill and

456
00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:55,840
we just let him go, let him roll
down the hill and they roll,

457
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,680
roll, roll.
And then Longview was like a

458
00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:00,120
cross street.
There was a cross street.

459
00:24:00,120 --> 00:24:02,400
It's hard to do this when you're
there's a cross street.

460
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:05,320
If they roll down, they're
rolling, rolling, rolling.

461
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,920
And most time they go past,
bounce up and probably dump jump

462
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,080
in somebody's yard down there.
I mean, I'm sure it was the

463
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,760
Mcgowan's yard or somebody else
or like who's tire is this?

464
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,480
It's like, yeah, it was
everybody on the upper end did

465
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:17,640
it.
We were not the only ones that

466
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,000
did this.
A lot of people that it was

467
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,400
funny.
It's the easy way to get rid of

468
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,120
your tires and it didn't cost
anything and nobody could trace

469
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:28,520
them back to you.
But we we would do that.

470
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:33,320
And and and this is like when
I'm nine, OK, so you know, my

471
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,320
felonies got better as older,
but but I had rolled it down and

472
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,360
the guy was coming across the ES
and and he was coming across the

473
00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:41,560
top of the hill in the Longview
and a Cadillac.

474
00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:45,320
And it hit this the rear corner
panel of his car.

475
00:24:45,760 --> 00:24:51,720
And it was, and I'm talking
about a tire that some of them

476
00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,840
had rims in them.
Oh, they did have the rims,

477
00:24:55,120 --> 00:24:59,280
yeah.
So, so we're talking some

478
00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,320
weight.
So when it hit his car, he knew

479
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:05,320
it because we maybe we were.
You can't.

480
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:07,600
Believe they had rims in them,
man, that that's we were.

481
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,960
We were 150 yards away.
We heard it when boom.

482
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,440
And then, like all smart
children, we scatter.

483
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:18,560
He probably wondered where it
came from.

484
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,360
It's probably what where did
this I?

485
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,960
Don't know what he thought
because he got hit on the side

486
00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:27,000
with a rolling tire and he
probably had no idea that kids

487
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,840
were rolling them down the hill
from 150 yards away.

488
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,640
And he would have somehow, if he
would have caught us, he would

489
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:35,920
have got, you know, been mean to
us, gone to our parents, made

490
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:40,160
them pay for it, do something
because, you know, delinquents

491
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,240
doing delinquent shit.
And it, and it mostly it was,

492
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:46,560
there was no intent to hit
anybody, but it was just you're

493
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,720
young and you're stupid.
And you know, I can definitely

494
00:25:50,720 --> 00:26:00,920
tell you that probably 85% of my
decision, no, 92% of my

495
00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:10,440
decisions that I made when I was
under the age of 19 were were

496
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:18,640
based upon gut feeling and the
thought process was no farther

497
00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,960
ahead than 20 minutes.
I don't even think mine was 20

498
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:27,640
minutes so it was 5 and. 1/2
Hey, that that car, the doors

499
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,400
open and they got beer in it.
We should grab it.

500
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:37,280
OK, Actually I'm going to be, I,
I take that back.

501
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:43,440
I would say from 17 on set
before 1717 and before, because

502
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:50,200
I was very, very cognizant of
turning 18 and being an adult

503
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:56,840
officially, I was very, very
cognizant of from don't do it

504
00:26:56,840 --> 00:27:01,120
again to you going to jail, boy.
You know, it was very, very

505
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:05,640
clear to me.
You realize now when you, you

506
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:09,560
got your 3 grams of cocaine
that's intend to disturb you.

507
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:14,240
You realize now when your buddy
said, Hey, I need to get, I want

508
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:16,080
to get some weed.
I want to get an ounce of weed

509
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,040
and you're like, oh, OK, here,
I'll get it for you.

510
00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:20,640
Here's the money, $35.
You turn around, you go and you

511
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:25,280
buy it and you hand it to them,
your distributor, distributor.

512
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:30,360
That's five years, five years.
That's what they start at.

513
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:33,120
You know, you think about it,
back then in the 70s, weed was

514
00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:36,160
you're a horrible person.
You sell weed to little kids,

515
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:40,880
you drug busher pusher pusher,
you know, and now you just go

516
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:45,240
buy it dispensary now.
You go buy illegally, Yeah, but.

517
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,160
Here, here, take a take a shot
of your dad, your pappy's

518
00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:52,360
moonshine, because that's OK.
Yep, if it's 98% alcohol, it's.

519
00:27:52,360 --> 00:27:53,840
Got a little gasoline in it, you
know?

520
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:57,000
But hey, just you just smoke a
cigarette after that and it

521
00:27:57,000 --> 00:28:00,360
makes that go away.
You're 9, you're old enough.

522
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:05,760
What the hell?
Different times.

523
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:08,280
The good times, and now they
give.

524
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,000
You that little jewel thing?
Well, they don't.

525
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,560
Oh yeah, yeah, they kind of
stopped doing that though.

526
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:15,360
People stopped doing the jewel.
It's not all the IT.

527
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:18,400
I think it's interesting too
because they banned the the

528
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,200
flavored pods like the mango
pods and things like that and

529
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,440
same thing with like they were.
Targeting children the.

530
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:27,880
Tobacco wraps as well, like the
mango wraps that you would roll

531
00:28:27,880 --> 00:28:29,560
a blunt in or something like
that.

532
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,920
They ban those, but then you
know what they did?

533
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:35,360
They didn't make laws or
legislation around disposable

534
00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:37,920
vapes.
So then you had disposable vapes

535
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,360
that had those same flavors,
which is funny.

536
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:44,720
And it's just like, so you made
more trash in the world and then

537
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,000
you didn't really do anything.
Yeah.

538
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,480
Exposable Bank probably had a
lobby in front of them and stuff

539
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,920
like that and probably.
I would imagine so.

540
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:57,080
I mean you.
Think AT&T owned what?

541
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,400
What, 10% of Jewel?
Something like that.

542
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,360
It was actually like 5.
Altria, yeah.

543
00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:11,520
But yeah, 1810 Altria did, yeah.
They, they owned a piece and

544
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,000
that was worth 5 billion at one
point.

545
00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,120
Yeah.
And then it dropped to like a

546
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:22,600
liability, like owning them was
-100,000,500 million.

547
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,960
Because the lawsuits are going
to come from all the kids that,

548
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,880
you know, are all going to die
of cancer at 20.

549
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:31,040
Exactly.
Because, yeah, because you're,

550
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:35,480
you're taking, you know, 100
times the amount of nicotine in

551
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,440
the year that I would, which is
just.

552
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,560
Smoke a cigarette like a normal
person, geez.

553
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:43,760
Yeah, it's not bad.
Come on, there's wash your

554
00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:45,720
clothes.
Wash your clothes then.

555
00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:46,840
No, you can't.
There's things you.

556
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,400
Can't do, you know, you could
tell when people went out in the

557
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,840
smoking area in high school and
came in after they smoked.

558
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:56,880
It was just like rancid and I
smoked, but I was very cognizant

559
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,600
of that.
I was like, wash your hands, you

560
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:01,520
know, put some water in your
mouth and you were.

561
00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:03,360
Better than all the other
smokers.

562
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:04,760
Damn right I was.
I was.

563
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,760
I was better than everybody.
Yep, you were better than

564
00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:10,760
everybody.
That's what it was that you made

565
00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:16,160
the Browns, man.
Our garbage cans had less trash

566
00:30:16,560 --> 00:30:20,760
in the mind.
I'm trying to think of the, oh,

567
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,280
when we were in Mongolia, the
traffic is pretty bad.

568
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,880
There was because we we're on
our way back and there was a car

569
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:29,440
crash or something and there's
like one way into the city and

570
00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:32,040
it was bad.
We also got stopped because the

571
00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:35,640
bubonic plague was being spread
through marmots and they were

572
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,800
wondering if we had any marmots
in our car and I, and they

573
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:40,440
looked in the car like, what are
they looking for?

574
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,000
Like marmots.
Like, you're kidding, right?

575
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:43,680
No, they were.
They were looking for marmots.

576
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,920
Yeah.
They didn't find any marmots.

577
00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:47,680
Smuggling I.
Saw a couple, they're like

578
00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:50,480
groundhogs but they're bigger I
guess They're smaller, smaller

579
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:53,800
and smaller and like.
What are the ones that kill your

580
00:30:53,800 --> 00:30:56,080
cat that you get but people go
out there?

581
00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,600
Put them in cage.
Yeah, a little bit bigger than a

582
00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,400
weasel, I think.
A little chubbier, but yeah,

583
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,560
they were looking.
Ferrets.

584
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,200
That's what I was thinking of,
yeah.

585
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:07,600
Ferrets, remember, those ferrets
are the things that were a big

586
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:09,920
thing here for a while.
But you know if you have a cat

587
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:12,920
to kill it.
The ferret kills the cat.

588
00:31:13,240 --> 00:31:14,360
Predatory.
Yes, very.

589
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:15,600
How does a?
Ferret kill a cat to.

590
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:18,440
Wrap.
Itself around and.

591
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:23,120
Claws and they're incredibly
fast and they're also very

592
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:24,240
predatory you.
Don't.

593
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,600
I'm imagining A ferret like an
anacondo, A rabbit itself around

594
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,960
a cat like that?
No, like chokes it.

595
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,440
Bites the snack off, kills it
that way.

596
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,160
Interesting.
Really, really sharp teeth.

597
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:37,000
Just like cats have really sharp
teeth of you.

598
00:31:37,320 --> 00:31:41,400
Cats wipe out bird populations.
House with people that have

599
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:46,760
ferrets smells really bad.
Well, I mean rabbits.

600
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:49,840
Is kind of the same thing, yeah.
Not indoors, dude, no.

601
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,360
Why don't you have the rabbits
in the side well.

602
00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:55,280
Because you love your rabbit and
all that and it's fuzzy and you

603
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,480
put it outside and it lives
outside and it's horrible

604
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:58,960
outside.
It's cold, it's nasty.

605
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,400
It should be nice outside all
the time for rabbits, but that's

606
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,360
not, it's not real, you know, I
just thought.

607
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:05,480
Of the same way.
I don't know.

608
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,040
Yeah, I've never had a rabbit.
I don't know.

609
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,640
Would you ever get a rabbit now?
No, I'm not.

610
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:17,280
I am at the point where I have
two dogs and when you have

611
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:22,080
animals, they restrict what you
can do to some degree.

612
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,920
And they don't really the what
they do is they, they make it

613
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,120
more encumbering if you want to
travel somewhere, if you want to

614
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,840
do things.
Now, the The thing is, is that

615
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,880
they also are a tremendous
comfort.

616
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:39,400
They when you think about, you
know, when no one's there,

617
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:41,680
you're sitting there with your
cat, with your cat, your dog,

618
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:44,040
your ferret, your rabbit, your
whatever the hell it is.

619
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,640
I mean, even if it's a parrot,
I'm not a bird person.

620
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,120
I just but, but I think, I think
I'm more of an animal person

621
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:53,040
because if I had an animal, no
matter what the hell it was, I

622
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:54,600
would fall in love with it.
They're just.

623
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,080
Well, you're getting a Christmas
rabbit Here, here, here.

624
00:32:58,080 --> 00:32:58,680
They're.
Friendly.

625
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:00,480
They're they're not.
Well, what are we gonna do?

626
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:03,400
We're gonna have it for.
We could do rabbits too.

627
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:09,720
Oh, I blew my mind that buying a
hamster at Petco was $12.00.

628
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:11,800
Crazy.
Yeah, Remember when we bought

629
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:13,120
the hamster?
Yeah.

630
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,080
And I didn't.
Know they lived only three years

631
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,880
it's.
Crazy, Yeah, that he didn't even

632
00:33:17,880 --> 00:33:19,120
live three years of them.
Jenny.

633
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,280
Tells Lived 2 1/2 years no.
Way.

634
00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:22,640
Really.
Yes.

635
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:24,880
Are you making that up?
Jenny Tails.

636
00:33:25,200 --> 00:33:26,760
He was great.
Big Jumbo.

637
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:27,960
How did he get?
His name?

638
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:34,200
You had a large testicle sack I.
Remember that when we picked him

639
00:33:34,200 --> 00:33:38,760
up, you picked him up and it and
his and his sack was like crazy.

640
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:41,040
That's when I knew he was the
one.

641
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,600
It was the size of a cue ball
and, and the and the guy that's

642
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,080
selling it because it's a
PetSmart and he's not selling

643
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:49,080
it.
He's just sort of like the

644
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,720
helper guy there.
And my wife, she's looking at it

645
00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,920
and she goes, Oh my God, is he
OK?

646
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:57,320
And and he just and he looks at
her and he goes, he's just

647
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:02,280
excited.
And you were like, what are we

648
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:06,280
going to name him Big Dick?
And I was like, no, no.

649
00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:11,320
And I was like Jenna.
Jenny Tails, I said genitals

650
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:14,320
initially and then mom said to
hell no and.

651
00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,560
She said hell no.
And then I go Jenny and she and

652
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:17,679
she's like what?
Jenny?

653
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:18,679
Jenny what?
Jenny?

654
00:34:18,679 --> 00:34:23,440
Tails.
So we call them.

655
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,239
What did she call them?
Mr. Hamster or something?

656
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:28,719
No fluffer muffins.
Fluffy muffins.

657
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:29,520
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fluffy.

658
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:34,080
Muffins aren't like Jenny Tails,
they're just horrible people no

659
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,280
matter what.
Just like we're going to make it

660
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,040
bad.
What's his name?

661
00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:39,400
Jenny.
Jenny What?

662
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,679
Jenny tails.
Jenny tails that What?

663
00:34:41,679 --> 00:34:44,280
What is that like?
Like dragon tails?

664
00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:46,440
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Something.

665
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:47,360
Like that?
Yeah.

666
00:34:48,560 --> 00:34:50,080
It's just a different part of
the tail.

667
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,719
It's the front part.
You know who I miss everyday?

668
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:56,000
You know who I miss constantly?
My fish.

669
00:34:56,360 --> 00:34:58,640
I I miss my fish.
No, that's the I.

670
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:02,560
Hope when I die and if there's
an afterlife that I get to see

671
00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:05,120
the fish and he gets to walk
around like a human being.

672
00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:08,000
You know what'd?
You name the big fish Super.

673
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,640
Fish because he lived forever.
No, you didn't have a name for

674
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:12,080
him, did you?
Super Fish?

675
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,240
No, you never called him super
fish.

676
00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:16,480
Not really, no.
The fish didn't.

677
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:17,640
Have a name A.
Fish.

678
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:20,280
Well I named him Super Fish
after somebody came over and

679
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,440
said what's his name?
I said oh it's been like 7

680
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,560
years, I guess I should name him
something.

681
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:28,120
I said Goldilocks Super Fish
because he lived for like 14

682
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:29,520
years.
Goldilocks.

683
00:35:30,240 --> 00:35:32,280
He was great.
Yeah, he was great.

684
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:36,720
If you ever made a fish, anybody
that wants to pit their animals

685
00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:39,040
out there, I'm really good at it
and I don't even try.

686
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:42,160
I don't know why because I every
animal I've ever had just kills

687
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:43,920
everything.
All the Yeah.

688
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,560
I don't even do.
What I hate everybody I feed the

689
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:49,120
fish.
I, I pet him, I tried to pet him

690
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:50,480
a couple times.
He didn't like that.

691
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:52,480
And then and then he just ends
up killing everything.

692
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,200
It's crazy.
And you get 2 or 3 guppies and

693
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:55,760
put them in there.
And we'd come in and there'd be

694
00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:57,360
fishtails hanging out of his
mouth.

695
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:58,480
I was.
Like what the hell?

696
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,600
What about big Jumbo with the
crab, the little the little

697
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:05,320
hermit crab?
And we had leather little hermit

698
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:09,480
crab scamming big Jumbo.
Like.

699
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:11,920
What's he doing?
He's like, he, he wants out of

700
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:13,400
the guy's shell.
So.

701
00:36:13,400 --> 00:36:15,240
Messed up too small.
He doesn't care, he's just

702
00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:16,360
killing him.
Exactly that's.

703
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:19,720
What they say he's.
Just he's a small crab, he.

704
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,400
Just kills the other crabs,
yeah, You know, because they're

705
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:23,840
only.
They're supposed to do that when

706
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:26,240
they want the shell.
But these were smaller shelled

707
00:36:26,240 --> 00:36:28,840
crabs.
And it's like, what the hell are

708
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,160
you doing?
I'm just, I'm just a murderer.

709
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:33,960
He had those big pinchers and I
guess he just.

710
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:35,760
Wanted to use them.
Yeah, he did.

711
00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:37,640
He was pretty small of the
pinchers, man.

712
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,200
Wow, what a weird.
Animal to have, I think that's.

713
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:41,760
Getting phased out?
You think so?

714
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:43,960
Like it's, I mean, at the beach
they're still.

715
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:45,960
You know, they're still,
they're, they're cool.

716
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:47,960
Do they still sell them at at
the beach?

717
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:50,760
I mean, last time I was.
There, yeah, but it's they're

718
00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:52,360
doing wow, OK, I was wondering
if that was.

719
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:54,920
Getting phased out.
I liked it, you know I.

720
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:55,560
Liked it?
Oh yeah.

721
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:59,080
I mean.
The goldfish came from like,

722
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:00,160
what are we playing?
Feeding.

723
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,280
I don't even remember.
What we fed it, it was like that

724
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:04,480
weird bone thing.
It was like a cracker thing.

725
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:05,480
You bought a.
You bought.

726
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:07,960
You bought a container.
Of it, it was like, it was like

727
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,960
turtle food or fish food or
whatever and it was called.

728
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,040
Crab food.
And it was probably the same

729
00:37:13,040 --> 00:37:14,800
kind of shit and they just
called it something else.

730
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:18,600
Charge double 'cause I'm stupid.
So we're getting you a rabbit

731
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:20,080
for your.
For Christmas?

732
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:21,520
Yeah.
You want a rabbit?

733
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:22,840
What?
What would happen if I buy you a

734
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:23,360
rabbit?
Was it?

735
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,880
Didn't they have white?
Rabbits in Jefferson Airplane.

736
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:29,000
What do you mean?
Was that a type of?

737
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:32,200
Acid.
That was, that was in the music.

738
00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,640
Video or something?
Yeah, well, it was about Alice

739
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:35,680
in Wonderland.
And there's a white.

740
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:38,560
Exactly, that was tripping.
That was definitely LSD.

741
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,400
White White rabbit White.
Rabbit.

742
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,320
That's right.
Or seeing a white rabbit or

743
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:47,640
something like that.
But yeah, but what what do we

744
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:50,640
have for time here?
We're we're 43.

745
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:53,280
OK, alright, but I think about.
Traffic.

746
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,240
What do you?
Think about other other roads

747
00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:56,960
that you've driven on.
When I think of the different

748
00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:01,360
roads, the some of the hardest
roads I've ever ridden on were

749
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:08,120
Amalfi Coast, Tere Amina and
Sicily.

750
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,840
Did you think it was scary?
Yeah, you.

751
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:13,440
Drove on a taxi.
Only area and we didn't know.

752
00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,400
Yeah.
And it was a pedestrian walkway

753
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:20,760
so you drove on, but was that
other people?

754
00:38:21,160 --> 00:38:22,560
I that was.
Freaking out?

755
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:23,960
Yeah, well, I.
Wasn't freaking out.

756
00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:28,040
I was just like, you know when
you have a dream and the car's

757
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,120
hitting the sides of the
building and you can't control

758
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,240
it?
That is what I felt like.

759
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:35,120
Oh my God, I forgot that.
When we drove through the city,

760
00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:39,160
when the walls were like 8 feet
wide and the car was 7 1/2 and

761
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,760
he turned and you were like,
take a right.

762
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,440
I took a right.
No, when I was looking at I was

763
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,840
looking at Waze.
That's right.

764
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,320
I was using Waze and it's like
why use the city?

765
00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,880
And it took me all.
The way down and it was like

766
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,560
this is, you know, like I think
it's I think it's pedestrian.

767
00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,400
I think it's pedestrian early.
I can't go anywhere.

768
00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:57,160
I got to go straight, OK, and
just, and it was like one of

769
00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,360
those little Roman towns, you
know, when you're driving

770
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:02,360
through Teramina.
And it was just a it was crazy.

771
00:39:02,760 --> 00:39:04,600
And then I went around the whole
thing.

772
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:06,440
Hundreds of people.
Hundreds.

773
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:08,880
Of people, yeah.
And people were.

774
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,720
Outside dining to have a little
cafe and they picked up their

775
00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:16,800
tables and moved back.
When I came by they didn't seem

776
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:17,800
neither, though they seemed like
it.

777
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,160
Happened.
They're like, oh, another.

778
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:20,640
Stupid American.
Yeah.

779
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:24,600
You know, whatever you know, but
I wasn't driving fast and I

780
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,960
didn't run over anybody and no
so.

781
00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,440
That's sort of like, but it was
funny.

782
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,880
It was just another.
That was pretty crazy.

783
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,760
As there was another car behind
us.

784
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:36,440
That was Sicily.
Yeah, Yeah.

785
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,120
That was looking for an
apartment.

786
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:40,960
So you didn't feel like you
really messed up.

787
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:42,120
Completely full.
Yeah.

788
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:43,840
Yeah, it didn't.
Look like it was.

789
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,400
That bad?
But when we walked it, I was

790
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:48,960
like, we did have to go down
there anyway, you know?

791
00:39:48,960 --> 00:39:52,120
Yeah, 'cause when you walked out
the other entrance, like that's

792
00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:56,120
weird too.
Is like you'd put a hotel near.

793
00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,720
I guess I just don't expect
people to drop the the hotel's

794
00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:00,920
on the mountain.
Well, then he had, but the

795
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,080
entrance was down at the bottom
and he had to come in at the

796
00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:05,280
bottom.
But there's also an entrance at

797
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,520
the top, at the top of the
mountain to go to the hotel.

798
00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:09,160
That was entrance.
They gave it to me, but that was

799
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:11,640
closed.
So I go there and it's closed

800
00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:13,760
and I got to pass it.
And you go around and there's no

801
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:17,640
entrance and there's no way to
get to the other side until we

802
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,320
stopped and and your mother
asked that Lady on the corner.

803
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:22,720
And the lady goes, yeah,
everybody does this.

804
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,200
It's at the bottom of the hill.
You go to the bottom and you'll

805
00:40:25,200 --> 00:40:28,240
see it's on the left.
And this is my second loop

806
00:40:28,240 --> 00:40:30,640
around.
And it was, it was white knuckle

807
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,400
driving.
I mean, I had, I had a little

808
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:36,040
white knuckle driving when I was
doing, when that was in Sicily,

809
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:42,080
but in Amalfi Coast, I was doing
there through a tunnel.

810
00:40:43,520 --> 00:40:49,240
I was passing, passing a car.
And I was doing like 85 miles an

811
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:52,760
hour.
And I was passing and I picked

812
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:56,040
up my camera because it was so
cool, because it's all dark and

813
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:58,240
everything.
And I started videotaping it.

814
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:04,160
And your mother's freaking.
She's like sometimes.

815
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,520
I feel like you do it on.
Purpose, you know, it was like

816
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,120
it was like, this is cool.
No one will believe I actually

817
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:10,960
did this.
I got to videotape this, you

818
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:15,360
know.
What the hell is wrong with you?

819
00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:19,320
That was like this is cool.
No, it's stupid.

820
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,200
You ever I?
Remember, you passed the nine

821
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:22,680
cars on a corner.
You remember that?

822
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:26,040
Oh my gosh, Corner, you guys
exaggerated no that.

823
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,280
Was into a corner, that was.
On the way.

824
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:30,440
That was the last one.
Was sent to the corner.

825
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,320
Well, that was 10 cars though,
or whatever it was.

826
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:34,240
It was 10 cars total.
It's the first time.

827
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:39,000
I've that was 10 cars and a two
lane Rd. one each way.

828
00:41:39,240 --> 00:41:45,280
I was coming back from the beach
from the from Rehoboth Beach.

829
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:49,560
It was on was it on 16?
It was on 16.

830
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:53,800
It was a straightaway I whipped
out and I said count them

831
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:57,680
because I was feeling real good
and I had a A8 LS giant Audi

832
00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:01,920
with A8 cylinder car and I was
doing maybe 45 behind the car

833
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,720
and there's a long line of
freaking cars I'm going and I'm

834
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:07,200
thinking in my head, I got to
get 10, I got to get 10.

835
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:12,320
I hit the gas.
The car jumps from like 45 to 80

836
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:16,480
in like 1001 thousand 2 and I'm
just boom, boom, boom.

837
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:19,280
I am Commander Cody just mowing
down the car.

838
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:21,280
That was insane.
They were like.

839
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,240
What?
Was it the telephone poles were

840
00:42:24,240 --> 00:42:28,440
like a pick a fence?
That was the one of those few

841
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:33,920
times. 34567.
And you were like.

842
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:39,120
And I started hearing squeaks
from the back seat about the

843
00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:40,440
corner.
Your mother was like.

844
00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:48,520
What do you think you're doing?
I was on card number 8 and it's

845
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:50,880
like 9.
No, no, no, no no.

846
00:42:54,000 --> 00:43:01,480
I passed 10 and cut over and she
yells at me you fucker and it

847
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:04,280
was like I never I.
Never drove.

848
00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:05,160
We were going.
To die.

849
00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:06,320
I never again.
Yeah.

850
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:07,640
I don't think you were ever
allowed to drive.

851
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:09,120
What?
About when me you.

852
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:15,200
Terry and Remy went to the beach
and we're driving the pickup

853
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:19,240
truck, pickup truck now, and I
think Remy said.

854
00:43:19,240 --> 00:43:23,600
I've never been 95 before.
Remember that?

855
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,440
Yeah.
And I was doing 95 because I'd

856
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:28,520
never had the pickup truck up to
95.

857
00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,640
And we're driving down the road
and we're doing like 70.

858
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:32,760
And he goes, how fast are you
going?

859
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:35,560
Is it, I don't know, really fast
because you could probably go

860
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:36,840
faster, right.
So, you know, I've never been

861
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,200
95.
So you've never been going 95

862
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:40,800
miles an hour.
There's no.

863
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:44,200
And I think you and Terry were
in the back and you're like,

864
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,800
yeah, yeah, Dad, let's do it,
let's do it.

865
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:48,840
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course.

866
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:50,880
Nobody's freaking fuck, you
know, I am.

867
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,520
I am the totally most
irresponsible piece of shit in

868
00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:56,160
the world.
Yeah, yeah, yeah 'cause if we

869
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:57,400
would have hit something, we'd
all be dead.

870
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,160
And, and it's, and it's what the
hell.

871
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:01,800
It was a car thing in the other
car.

872
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:04,200
I wasn't passing.
Anything.

873
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,800
It was just a.
Clear straightaway, I was on the

874
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:10,280
side of the road, everything
just and I got up to 95 and it's

875
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:11,960
like we're going 95.
That's cool.

876
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:16,360
Bye.
You know, I slowed down, but the

877
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:22,680
craziest, craziest, craziest,
craziest, fastest I've ever

878
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:30,320
driven, I think, I think it was
140 and that was in the

879
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:31,880
Autobahn.
I don't know if I told that

880
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:33,400
story.
Ever told that story.

881
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:34,480
Maybe.
I think so, Yeah.

882
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:35,160
We told it again.
Tell.

883
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,560
It again for the sake of the
time episode the craziest.

884
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:40,120
Thing in the world is we were,
we were doing, we had one day

885
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:43,800
and we were in Munich and we
went to Oktoberfest, but we had

886
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,920
driven to Newenstein, which is 1
end of the country down to the

887
00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:49,800
third.
And then we went across the

888
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:52,600
country over to Hitler's Nest.
And then we're coming home and

889
00:44:52,600 --> 00:44:54,920
we're on the way home and we're
on the Autobahn and we're coming

890
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:58,000
north and I'm talking to a
buddy, Bob, He's in the

891
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,440
passenger seat and my brother
and Bob's daughter are in the

892
00:45:01,440 --> 00:45:04,720
back seat and it's a tiny little
Mercedes.

893
00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:06,880
It's like AML 7.
I don't know what the fuck it

894
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:08,560
was.
It was some little tiny car, but

895
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:11,800
it was on diesel and it was
rocking and I was doing like,

896
00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:14,680
and I said, so I don't know,
we're on the Audubon.

897
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:17,400
We must, we have to drive fast.
And it's like, yeah, you, you

898
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:18,960
can go as fast as you want.
I said really?

899
00:45:19,320 --> 00:45:25,200
I said, OK, I'm doing 100.
He goes, ah, that's 60120-O.

900
00:45:25,200 --> 00:45:29,160
That's I think 7080.
OK, I'm doing 140.

901
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:38,960
OK, that's I'm doing 100 and. 60
OK, I'm 180, which is I think 90

902
00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:44,760
miles an hour.
I was 180 and then I go 202 ten.

903
00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:50,200
He's like looking at me now. 220
I'm like.

904
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,160
Now I can't look away from the.
And I'm, I'm looking away, I'm

905
00:45:53,160 --> 00:45:55,960
looking at I'm looking at the
speedometer and I'm looking down

906
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,640
the speedometer and at the road
speedometer Rd. because that's

907
00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:01,400
how fast I was going.
And that was at 2:20 and I got

908
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:07,680
235240I said 2:30 And that's
when he puts his hand on the

909
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,320
dash.
And this is.

910
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:14,520
Macho Man Marine.
Guy who puts his hand on the

911
00:46:14,520 --> 00:46:18,480
dash and that's when I realized
I was going fast because I'm

912
00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:20,760
thinking like he thinks that's
going to save his life.

913
00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:27,200
We after I did that, we slowed
down because there's a lot,

914
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:30,520
there's a traffic jam for some
reason on the Autobahn and we

915
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:32,720
pull over and there's one lane,
right?

916
00:46:32,720 --> 00:46:34,880
It's two lanes.
And it's not really all that,

917
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,080
you know, bank curve shit.
Like people say.

918
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:39,800
No way.
It was like driving on 95 was no

919
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,120
different anyway.
I didn't think it was.

920
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:47,480
I'm driving.
And I look over to the side.

921
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:51,840
And there's like debris, you
know?

922
00:46:52,120 --> 00:46:56,240
There's a hood.
There's a, a rear hood, there's

923
00:46:56,400 --> 00:47:00,520
a bumper, there's a tire,
there's glass and stuff for

924
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:04,160
maybe 2 football fields.
Just you know, you're, you're

925
00:47:04,160 --> 00:47:08,480
going along real, real slow and
you're just seeing bits of car

926
00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:14,640
and you get to the end and it's
a, it's a 911 and it's on its

927
00:47:14,640 --> 00:47:19,520
roof and it was black, but it
was all burnt out.

928
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,840
The seats have been melted.
Everything was gone.

929
00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:26,360
It was weird.
It was empty, it was clean.

930
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:28,480
You know, it was like it was
burned clean.

931
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:31,760
Nobody's.
There ambulance was.

932
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:33,560
Gone.
And the guy was sitting there

933
00:47:33,560 --> 00:47:36,360
and getting ready to load it up
on a truck, and I'm thinking

934
00:47:36,360 --> 00:47:39,760
like, whoa.
Wow.

935
00:47:40,240 --> 00:47:42,920
Well, that's what happens.
There were.

936
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:44,760
Goats in the road and we're
driving.

937
00:47:44,760 --> 00:47:47,080
We slow down and on the side of
the road there's this car that

938
00:47:47,080 --> 00:47:49,640
flipped twice.
And in Mongolia, nobody wears

939
00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:50,560
their seatbelts.
Crazy.

940
00:47:50,840 --> 00:47:52,360
And there's this car that
flipped twice.

941
00:47:52,360 --> 00:47:55,280
We pull over, we run up to it.
It's a car full of old people.

942
00:47:55,360 --> 00:47:56,840
Crazy.
Nobody died.

943
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:58,480
Nobody was dead.
We expected it.

944
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:00,360
You take their money, be pulling
bodies out.

945
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:03,000
No, but I did.
Steal stuff out of her purse and

946
00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:06,760
a couple of snacks.
But the car was filled, filled

947
00:48:06,760 --> 00:48:08,080
to the brim.
I think they were moving or

948
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:10,240
something.
But Charlie goes over there,

949
00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:13,440
starts pulling this woman out.
It's crazy because the car is

950
00:48:13,520 --> 00:48:16,120
completely on its side,
completely on its side in a

951
00:48:16,120 --> 00:48:18,000
ditch.
So they've rolled twice.

952
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,320
They must have rolled twice.
And there was this woman that

953
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:23,880
had this contusion on her face
that was half her fucking head.

954
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:26,800
It was crazy and we got
everybody out of the car, but

955
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:30,000
they were just old people and
I'm like, man, it is shocking

956
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:31,880
because there was three people
in the back seat.

957
00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:34,760
All of them were on this one
woman and there's no ambulance

958
00:48:34,760 --> 00:48:37,080
even after a leg.
No, no ambulance so.

959
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:40,800
What happened is we drove after
that, after we got everybody out

960
00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:42,520
of a bunch of other people
stopped on the side of the road.

961
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:44,880
Mongolian hospitality is the
best of the world.

962
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:48,000
And we drove to a hospital,
called, and then we went to the

963
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:49,360
hospital and were like, you
should go here.

964
00:48:49,360 --> 00:48:50,560
They're on the side of the
highway.

965
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,120
And then I think they sent
somebody out.

966
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:56,800
But yeah, it was really, really
bad because there was fuel

967
00:48:56,800 --> 00:49:00,200
everywhere and yeah, I know
everybody was smoking, coated

968
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:01,680
the ground, yeah.
There was this old man smoking.

969
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:04,160
A cigarette next to the car and
I was like, God, that's nerve

970
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,680
racking.
But cover the car or the ground

971
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:08,240
and gasoline was really, really
bad.

972
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:12,560
But yeah, all their belongings
were just all over the side of

973
00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:13,760
the road.
It was crazy.

974
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:16,600
And it was a small little thing
like think, think.

975
00:49:16,600 --> 00:49:19,560
What is it like a right now no
even.

976
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:22,040
Smaller than that.
It was like a, not like a, it

977
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:23,760
was a smart car, but a little
bit longer.

978
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:25,480
That's who it was.
Yeah.

979
00:49:25,680 --> 00:49:27,400
Like a fastback or whatever that
thing is.

980
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:29,320
I wonder if it was like a was it
like a Russian car 'cause they

981
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:30,840
make some.
Weird square little cars.

982
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:32,960
You know what's funny is they
have a bunch of used.

983
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:36,640
Korean cars, that's where they
get 2 cars from all North

984
00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,160
Korean.
A lot of Priuses.

985
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:41,440
Too a lot of Priuses.
Tons of Priuses, you'll see.

986
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:44,000
Priuses, yeah.
Yeah, where we were.

987
00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:47,560
Yeah, they.
Did and they have Priuses that

988
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:48,920
are.
You'll just see a Prius doing

989
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:52,520
all-wheel drive out in the
middle of a the middle of a

990
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:56,280
mountain range is crazy.
Where's traffic worst?

991
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:59,800
Ever for you, you talked about
yours as being the 5 1/2 hours

992
00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:06,440
mine was that was bad snowstorm
of it would have been an 80 this

993
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:11,880
the winter of 85.
I was dating a woman in Texas

994
00:50:11,880 --> 00:50:15,400
and I was supposed to meet her.
I was supposed to fly there that

995
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:18,000
night.
It was Friday night and the snow

996
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:23,760
had come and I'd gone to work at
1333 H St. and I had to drive

997
00:50:23,760 --> 00:50:30,240
from there to National Airport,
which is about 5 miles.

998
00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:33,360
OK, go across 14th St.
Bridge, go to the left, bear

999
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:36,520
down route one, take a left.
You're at the frickin airport,

1000
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:40,280
park there, blah, blah, blah.
And I'm in my Hyundai, my 86

1001
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,280
Hyundai.
So no, it's like 8788.

1002
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:50,040
I had a full tank of gas.
When I went out under the road,

1003
00:50:51,320 --> 00:51:00,880
I left the office at like 1:00.
I got across the bridge and the

1004
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:04,320
other bridge, and I remember I
was coming up on the left hand

1005
00:51:04,320 --> 00:51:09,120
turn that goes over to National
and I'd already missed the

1006
00:51:09,120 --> 00:51:11,400
flight.
The flight was at.

1007
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,800
The flight was at 6:00.
Oh my gosh.

1008
00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:15,960
I.
Live in.

1009
00:51:16,520 --> 00:51:19,040
Huntington.
Then I did not get home till

1010
00:51:19,040 --> 00:51:21,880
9:30.
Jeez, it was just like.

1011
00:51:21,880 --> 00:51:24,120
And I had to.
And and I and, and when I got

1012
00:51:24,120 --> 00:51:26,440
home, I had a quarter tank of
gas.

1013
00:51:26,880 --> 00:51:30,640
It was like.
Insanity.

1014
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:31,960
It was like 8 or 9.
Hours.

1015
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:33,840
It was just.
It was crazy.

1016
00:51:34,080 --> 00:51:37,000
Everything.
People on that bridge that you

1017
00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:40,520
go to, there were just cars.
People had just gotten out and

1018
00:51:40,520 --> 00:51:43,120
left.
You know your car is stuck.

1019
00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:46,280
On a bridge.
And people just abandoned them.

1020
00:51:47,120 --> 00:51:49,040
They abandoned their cars.
And they did this.

1021
00:51:49,040 --> 00:51:51,440
They did this a lot, I think in
the 80s, which kind of pissed me

1022
00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:54,280
off that you wouldn't.
But then, you know, you get

1023
00:51:54,280 --> 00:51:55,880
stuck in a snowstorm.
You don't know what to do.

1024
00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,720
So what do you do?
You leave your car where it's

1025
00:51:57,720 --> 00:51:59,040
at, or you try to get it out of
the way?

1026
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:00,400
What are you going to do?
Walk home?

1027
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:01,880
I don't understand.
That, well, you don't want to.

1028
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:03,120
You don't put it too far out of
the.

1029
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:05,440
Way because you put it too far
out of the way someone's going

1030
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:07,880
to cover it with snow and you're
going to see it so you want to

1031
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:09,720
keep it in a thing but but if
you're going to leave it out

1032
00:52:09,720 --> 00:52:11,160
there then someone's going to
tow it and they charge you

1033
00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:14,000
whatever 150 bucks to come and
get it it's like where are they

1034
00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:17,360
walking to that's the.
Thing if you're walking bridge,

1035
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:22,600
you probably could have walked.
To there's metro, you know,

1036
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:25,240
people could have gotten on a
metro and things because metro

1037
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:29,120
was running below ground, but
not above ground because they

1038
00:52:29,120 --> 00:52:35,560
had messed up and not I remember
in in that storm metro they had

1039
00:52:36,720 --> 00:52:42,560
they left the cars out in the
train station outside and they'd

1040
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:45,320
all covered in in snowed like 18
inches or something, like it was

1041
00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:49,000
something crazy and they
couldn't move the cars.

1042
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:50,280
They couldn't get them out of
there.

1043
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:53,560
That was like 2010.
Oh my God, 2010 was crazy.

1044
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:55,680
That was like 5 feet or
something. 6 feet in like a

1045
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:57,120
weekend.
Oh yeah, the one I'm talking

1046
00:52:57,120 --> 00:52:59,960
about was like an 80. 788
somewhere in there it.

1047
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,000
Was bad.
It was really.

1048
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:03,400
Really bad.
Well, I remember here in Wells.

1049
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:08,080
Their family got back from
vacation in 2010 and they were

1050
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:12,400
all wearing shorts and it was 5
feet of snow and they had to dig

1051
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:14,680
it.
Dig their house out with a trash

1052
00:53:14,680 --> 00:53:16,120
can lid.
Crazy.

1053
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:19,520
Oh my gosh, yeah, I'd have been
hoteling.

1054
00:53:20,240 --> 00:53:21,760
Yeah, no, I would have as well.
We.

1055
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:25,080
Can't drive anywhere because DC
and also Virginia has the

1056
00:53:25,280 --> 00:53:29,120
probably world's worst
infrastructure for when it

1057
00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:31,120
snows.
They just don't know what to do.

1058
00:53:31,680 --> 00:53:33,640
Even if they know it's going to
snow the night before, they're

1059
00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:35,600
like, you know what?
Let's do nothing.

1060
00:53:35,600 --> 00:53:37,760
Let's do nothing about it and
let's see what happens.

1061
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:39,160
And then they do nothing.
They're like, Oh my God, it

1062
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:41,400
snowed.
Well, usually what they do.

1063
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:44,200
Is like now and November, if
it's going to rain, they're

1064
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:46,480
like, hey, we should salt the
roads with all the salt that

1065
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:49,880
we've got for the whole winter
to top all the snow.

1066
00:53:49,880 --> 00:53:52,040
So what we're going to do is
we're going to put two inches of

1067
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:55,560
salt slick on all the roads now
in November.

1068
00:53:55,760 --> 00:53:58,680
So when it actually starts to
snow in February, we won't have

1069
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:02,920
shit.
And you'll notice this as soon

1070
00:54:02,920 --> 00:54:04,840
as you.
Hear anything about snow?

1071
00:54:05,280 --> 00:54:08,240
They, they, they have this wet
stuff that they put down all

1072
00:54:08,240 --> 00:54:12,120
over the roads to melt it so it
doesn't stick and they reapply

1073
00:54:12,120 --> 00:54:15,000
it as needed or, you know, in
theory.

1074
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:20,520
And I mean, but they're, I don't
know, I mean, I'm pretty happy

1075
00:54:20,520 --> 00:54:23,040
with what they do around here.
Occasionally it gets bad, but

1076
00:54:23,280 --> 00:54:28,880
you know, it's, it's, you know,
bad snow is going to take time,

1077
00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:31,520
I've learned.
Is that everything?

1078
00:54:31,520 --> 00:54:35,640
Is a left turn in your life?
Everything that you do is a left

1079
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:38,320
turn.
Like I've grown up on that road

1080
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:40,480
that we live on, and it's a left
turn.

1081
00:54:40,640 --> 00:54:42,920
It's a left turn to get there.
Want coming home, right?

1082
00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:46,680
Usually coming home, it's a left
turn across oncoming traffic.

1083
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:49,520
Do you want to know what
direction the turn is to get

1084
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,400
onto my street here in
California?

1085
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:55,400
Can you guess?
It's a left turn in the oncoming

1086
00:54:55,400 --> 00:54:56,640
traffic.
Yeah, it's crazy.

1087
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:01,200
Well, see, here's the thing.
And, and it's kind of funny

1088
00:55:01,200 --> 00:55:04,600
because I remember in college,
there's a real estate guy I

1089
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:09,160
talked to the real estate class
from and he said that the, it's

1090
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:14,520
weird that the best, when he
sold houses, the best thing that

1091
00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:18,200
he would ever do is he would
talk to the husband and he would

1092
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:20,880
say, and he would ask them where
they worked.

1093
00:55:21,320 --> 00:55:25,960
And he would show them houses
that were right hand turns out

1094
00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:28,640
to get to work.
And he could show them that,

1095
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:30,400
Hey, you can get to work in 10
minutes.

1096
00:55:30,720 --> 00:55:32,920
He would never show them how
they would get home.

1097
00:55:33,480 --> 00:55:36,800
He would always show them how if
you take a right hand turn,

1098
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:39,120
right hand turn, you get to work
in 8 minutes.

1099
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:41,760
Because The thing is, is when
you're coming home, you're like,

1100
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:45,120
I got to.
Go home and I got to see that

1101
00:55:45,120 --> 00:55:46,560
little.
Rat bastard kid.

1102
00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:48,560
And I got to I got to kiss the
wife.

1103
00:55:48,640 --> 00:55:51,680
Oh shit, I wish I had three more
drinks.

1104
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:54,120
You know, you know, and you
don't mind taking your time.

1105
00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:59,200
We're getting to work.
We're getting to work.

1106
00:55:59,200 --> 00:56:01,160
You're like.
You wake up late, you're

1107
00:56:01,160 --> 00:56:04,960
hungover, you didn't get your
breakfast Mcmuffin and you're

1108
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:08,200
like, my God, I got 6 minutes.
And it's like, well, that's why

1109
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:10,080
you took all right turns so
you're fast and you don't have

1110
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:11,280
to wait for anybody and get to
go.

1111
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:12,960
It's really cool and stop lights
everything.

1112
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:16,920
He said if you would try to look
for houses that were what the

1113
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:20,000
person liked in their price
range, and he would do it

1114
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,200
logistically and they'd see it
and he'd explain it to him.

1115
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,360
And then and the husband will
always be like, Oh my God,

1116
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:31,360
you're going to make my commute
that I do every day of my life

1117
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:35,520
really easy.
Whoa.

1118
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:39,760
Just to to think like that.
And I was like, wow, that's just

1119
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:41,880
so weird.
It's like I don't give a shit if

1120
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:45,520
I have two bathrooms, it takes
me 9 minutes to get to work.

1121
00:56:45,520 --> 00:56:47,080
Smart way to think about it
really.

1122
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:49,000
And.
I never that to me.

1123
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:52,200
Was like looking at life through
a different mirror because when

1124
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:55,800
I when I lived in Woodbridge and
or I lived in Pomeroy Drive and

1125
00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,280
it took me almost 50 minutes to
get downtown.

1126
00:56:58,720 --> 00:57:01,880
When I moved in with my wife,
before she was my wife, we were

1127
00:57:01,880 --> 00:57:06,200
on Columbia Pike and it was like
12 minutes to get to work.

1128
00:57:06,720 --> 00:57:11,240
And I got to tell you, when you
drive an hour in Huntington, it

1129
00:57:11,240 --> 00:57:15,080
was 45 minutes on the metro to
50 minutes plus a 15 minute walk

1130
00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:18,080
to get there.
I mean, it was all easy, was

1131
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:19,640
always going to happen.
It was natural.

1132
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,880
But that was the thing about.
You know what's funny?

1133
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:26,440
We were going to skateboarding
when I was around 19 or

1134
00:57:26,440 --> 00:57:28,160
something.
We were filming for this video

1135
00:57:28,360 --> 00:57:31,200
and this kid came up from
Lynchburg, VA.

1136
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:33,360
Really great professional
skateboarder now, I think.

1137
00:57:33,760 --> 00:57:36,040
And and he was like,
everything's a left turn here.

1138
00:57:36,040 --> 00:57:38,680
I'm like, no, it's not.
Yeah, no, it is.

1139
00:57:38,680 --> 00:57:42,480
It definitely at Tyson's Corner
is every time, everywhere you're

1140
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:45,440
going is a left turn.
It's crazy.

1141
00:57:45,600 --> 00:57:47,720
It's absolutely insane.
Do you think it's because you're

1142
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:49,800
not left-handed?
I don't know, maybe.

1143
00:57:49,800 --> 00:57:52,080
Maybe that's I.
Am left-handed so that's why I

1144
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:53,760
have a left.
Handed life, it's very

1145
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:55,080
interesting.
Everything is a left turn.

1146
00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:58,480
Yeah, very, very insane.
Well, on that note, I think

1147
00:57:58,480 --> 00:58:01,520
we're wrapping up here.
Thank you guys for listening.

1148
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:05,760
As always, go traffic we.
Didn't talk about the movie.

1149
00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:07,360
What movie?
Oh, the movie.

1150
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:09,600
Troy I.
Never seen it traffic or the OR

1151
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:11,760
the band.
That's a good band, actually.

1152
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:13,280
I do like, yeah.
Like the band?

1153
00:58:14,200 --> 00:58:15,640
All right, we'll see you next
week.

1154
00:58:16,280 --> 00:58:17,760
Keep listening, please.
That's great.

1155
00:58:17,760 --> 00:58:19,280
Life is wonderful.
Don't get too old.

1156
00:58:19,520 --> 00:58:21,560
Don't get too old too fast, bye.
Bye.