Episode 105: UberEATS

0:09 Welcome back to another episode of A Record of My Father. Today we're going to be talking about how Uber Eats is destroying the middle class. I mean, you get off. Wow. And you have people just using lakes. But it's crazy. I saw somebody's build the other day, it's like 3 to $400.00 a month for Uber Eats. And I'm like, how do you do that? Is are we becoming lazier as a culture or what is this? And then at the same time, in order for a restaurant to have Uber Eats or what is the other one, DoorDash at their restaurant, they have to pay the app service. And then there's also, yeah, you have to pay like a subscription service to have the delivery app there. It's crazy it.

0:51 Well, it really got big. It really got big during COVID because people couldn't go to the restaurant. So they started ordering and, and all the typical restaurants that don't have delivery all to just to stay in business. They, they would make the food at their restaurant and ship it to you and you could order it through DoorDash. And basically the margin was eaten completely. But they could make just enough money to cover the costs, which were the labor and all the rent and everything else by because the, the margin usually a restaurant has is like 1012%. And that's what it, that's what Uber Eats are. That's what DoorDash was charging. So they did it as a way to survive. And it surprises me that and I, and I'm sure if we looked at the market that those two got hammered after the fact.

1:39 But a lot of people got used to the idea of, hey, I want such and such, 'cause I mean, I remember the thing that always that kind of freaked me out is when I saw them bring in smoothies, you know, coffee, Yeah. Or I, I want, I want 2 cups of coffee. I want a latte Grande El hermesier flami flamboye. Bring me that. And it's like 995. And you're thinking like, how in the world can a driver pick something up and take it to your house and they charge you some certain amount of money? What do they charge? 5 bucks? 10 bucks. Man, I remember seeing some things on DoorDash that were exponentially more expensive than they, because it's interesting, every restaurant's kind of different, right In compounds. But like knowing here in LA too, a lot of people are like, oh, let's just, let's just do this.

2:31 Let's just deliver it. And I'm like, you can walk down the street. You can walk. We were born with legs, weirdly enough, or bipedal organisms. And it's kind of strange thing to think to go to a physical place. But I would have to say that, one, it's more of an experience, and then two, the food doesn't suck because every time I've ordered food of any one of those apps, I think the last time I did it was it's only pizza ever. Really. Yeah, it's really only pizza. Like I never do anything like that because it sucks. It's it's bad. It's. No, it's not. It gets. Hot boxed, it's weighted humidity, right? It gets hot boxed and the humidity of the box that it's in and then it sucks. So I there's no reason.

3:14 Pasu Thai was one in particular that we used to, we love to, we eat there, but I ordered for delivery and it's just, it's just not the same Chinese food. A lot of times it just doesn't have the same, you know, unless it's really, really good Chinese food. It it doesn't, I can't imagine ordering a steak. Take your favorite restaurant and then order from it and then it will soon become not your favorite restaurant anymore because it's a completely different experience. Well, yeah, it's, it's, it's sack, you know, and the idea that food sits, you know, and it's, you know, the restaurant, if you waited 5 minutes before you served it, after it got put out on a hot plate or 10 minutes or 15 minutes, and you got to figure they put it together, they put it in a package to get stapled.

4:01 The guys typically, he might be there, he might not be right there that takes it out. And then he takes it and he takes to you. And you think this person, this is probably 1/2 an hour transaction, right? If not longer. And they're using their car, so, you know, if they're charging anything less than 15 bucks, they're losing money. Well, then you see the people too, that there's sometimes they read the app or something and it says that the person didn't tip them and then they like they eat their food or something out of the bank. And it's so funny. It's like, why don't you just get a real job instead of working out of your car? Like, I mean, if you really think that you deserve a fair wage, then get a real job. Like, I don't know, I think that that's super lazy is to drive around all day and sit in your car. They want to hold the consumer liable for what they can hold their employer liable for.

4:59 And it's the same thing. It's the same thing at restaurants and people say you didn't tip enough and you're like, you know, and, and, and I mean, I, I just, I, when I, when I think about that, I always think about the Hilton story. I don't know if I told you that is when I had the, I ordered a Heineken and a cheeseburger, 22 Heineken's and a cheeseburger is in New York Hilton. And the guy brings it up and the check is like 33 or 34 bucks and it was 38 and they had added a 18% service fee and a $5 delivery fee. And then the guy goes, I don't get any of that.

5:40 And I was just like, you know, so here I was paying 38 bucks for cheese, or I mean, it really was a cheeseburger and two beers. And, and I was, I shocked and I didn't know what the time. And I found out later that Hilton settled and so have many other restaurants where they grab the tip money and they do not the service, the service charge and they don't give it to the staff. And you see this over and over and over. So that's why, I mean, that's one of the reasons today that I had tip in cash, you know, because I know that given the choice between paying the light bill and making sure you get your tip, they'll take the light bill. And then when you throw a little greed on there, given the choice between me getting another 50 bucks and you getting 50 bucks as a tip, as a worker who I know you're going to be with me for what, a year or two or maybe who knows, I'll take your money.

6:34 I wouldn't, I wouldn't do that in a restaurant, but a lot of people do Papa John's, the one you work for, they settled, they settled a suit for $12 million. I mean, it's not pennies. They're they're they're they're. You're talking about the delivery driver class action lawsuit that's been going on for like 20 years. Well, there's been. There's a ton of them. Yeah, 'cause they suck, 'cause it's like when you're clocked out of the restaurants $2.30 an hour, and when you're driving, that is. And then when you're clocked in, you're making minimum wage, which was 725 at the time for when I was doing it. But then at the same time, you got managers to come in and say, oh, that $60.00 school order that you just got, $60.00 tip.

7:16 I get half that because I made the 230 pizzas or whatever that it was. And then you say, well, you chose this line of work about 40 years ago when you started working here, so you can go fuck yourself. So that's kind of where I'm at with that. Yeah, or. Yeah, but that's that's a one off situation. But when they add when me as a consumer and I see gratuity on the check, I assume that that goes to the I don't. Think it's secret too. It's the service fee if I'm sure. Service. Yeah, well, the. Service fee you still would think when service fee first came out I feel like people understood it as a tip for sure. Well, they had service fee and delivery charge. Delivery charge as well. Yeah, yeah.

7:56 And you're just like, well, So what? What do you get? And it's like I I get paid 280 an hour and you grow like $2.00. You don't get none of this. All this add on crap that goes to corporate. Well, see, that's what they're doing is that what they'll do is they can still offer a 299 pizza. They can offer at whatever price they want and they just stick all the fees below it. You know, it's like the federal subscriber line charge that Verizon does. You know that your bill's only 1999 a month? Actually, no, that that's what it costs for the line. And then you got the the FCC fee, then you got the federal state tax fee and then you got the federal subscriber in which all those language sounds like it's something and they're they're recouping their costs. It would be the same thing as a restaurant. At the end of the check, it said the electricity fee to cook your pizza.

8:46 The the the trash removal fee. Like think about it it where you have oil disposal fees. What's the difference between disposing oil and disposing trash in the dumpster? You still have to pay for it. You could add a trash disposal fee to every single bill of a dollar and it doesn't sound like that. Much. I was at a restaurant the other day and there was a fixed 25% gratuity fee on the bill. And I was like, I was like, oh, do you get this? And I'm like, yeah, I'm like, oh, OK, interesting. Well, as long as they get it, yeah. See, mine is is I'm very, I'm very wary of them not getting it, you know what I mean? Yeah, I like that purple guy in your background now. Yeah, you should have the left of your head. Arms hanging off the. He looks like a liquid. Yeah, looks like a liquid guy. He is a liquid guy.

9:29 He's what does that Moshi Moushi. Well, you were, you were here for the last two and a half, three weeks, and you made me bring my microphone. You made me bring it. And it's £20. And, and I try to do an episode with you every day and you hit. No, no, that's not true. You. Are lazy and you're getting fired. That's kind of. We're caught. I was not the one calling DoorDash every day having delivery. No, I saw you talking to. Drivers and the drivers knocked on my door and came to me and asked me for a tip and I said yeah, you know, we're not scumbags. No, just no. Just, well, you started Uber Eats, it was your idea, and then you sold it to Uber because you wanted to fuck the middle class. That's what that this whole all was.

10:10 This is I love. Making the middle class impoverished through mental tactics such as providing free or delivery of all your favorite restaurants. So you. Don't ever have to go there. Yeah. No, it's it's great. Nepal how to take money from the poor in the middle class and give it to the rich. I like that that's the way it should be. How I'm going to take over Mongolia, that's what the gold. Is no. That's what you're going to do. You're going to invent DoorDash over there. Yep. We're, we're going to do DoorDash. We're going to DoorDash there. That's what's going to happen. And it's going really, it's going to boom. Yeah. I wonder, I wonder whether what countries don't have DoorDash, you know? Well, it's it's it's DoorDash an all.

10:51 Yeah, yeah, there's probably there's a lot that it just. There's a lot of foreign ones too that are offshoots, yeah. They only allow like these certain ones instead of the other ones, yes. That's. True, there's more control. Well, is DoorDash International? I I think DoorDash is but Uber eats is not if I remember. No. Uber Eats definitely is as well. Yeah, got to be, yes, DoorDash International Company operating several countries beyond the United States. It has expanded reach through both direct operations and acquisitions, including the purchase of Walt and Deliveroo. What is it think about Deliveroo?

11:32 Who is that? That's the Aussies, yeah. Exactly. I mean, that's great, Deliveroo. I knew that. I knew that. You know what that is? It's in Europe, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Japan. It's funny how they go countries, but then they also mentioned continent because we're just not going to name all these places in Europe. It is. Yeah, that's a lot of places in Europe. Well, you know, as long as the cities are close to the place to deliver. But there's there's like a combination here. It's like you want a person, it's going to run 6 blocks away, pick up hot food and bring it to you. How much do you want to pay him to do that? Do you want to pay him 7 bucks? 8 bucks, 10 bucks, you know, and that's what, that's what you're doing. And if you're getting a cup of coffee, I, I don't understand the metrics on that. Also, I don't understand the, the abject laziness of an individual that wouldn't do that. And I understand there's, there's always, you know, you can come back and say, well, you know, but so and so can't walk or is, I mean, I had issues with my tendons. I couldn't, I couldn't move.

12:32 Well, your, your, your mother had her knee replacement, so she was off her feet for a while. I would understand a person like that doing it. I just like Meals on Wheels which shows first is cancelled but. Oh, is that really done now? Is that done? Yeah, they're they're they're whacking like half the budget or so. I don't it's, it's a it's a big dollar amount of it that they're getting rid of and it's it's really severe. I mean, I just got Capillary Food Bank, somebody with support here. It's in a greater DMZDM. What are what are we the DMV? Yeah, Maryland, Virginia District. You said Maryland 1st and notice that. Yeah, I don't know how to count. Why don't you say it first? It's DM. 'Cause I don't know how to count man I'm bad at. District of Columbia.

13:16 But but they they in their in their material. This one charity covers the food bank for this area lost 1.3 million for one food program and another million from another food program. So there was $2.3 million just one place and and you know, I'm like. Of government funding. Is that what you're talking about? Government. Funding, that's what government did. I mean, when you look at all the agencies that were doing this stuff, they were, they were supporting all the local businesses and that's how they could get people to like them and love them is the fact that they're, you know, they're using the locals to support, to support the economy and also to feed the poor. And so they were buying food locally from the farmers that were distressed and then they were feeding it to the people that had no food and the government was supporting that, which kind of makes like sense, you know? And yes, there were, there's 1 to 3% thieves. They're all in there.

14:22 There's always criminals, you know, But we got a, we got a budget of the 97% because of the 3%. It's just the way it is, you know? Every politician is a criminal. But I'm going to get a raise, man. Is for the people anymore. But this is both. Sides are awful, But yeah, no, this is DoorDash. And if we're talking about DoorDash, we got to talk about Postmates, which was the first food delivery service. Really. Yeah. Of all of them, Uber Eats. Before Uber Eats, before any of that, it was Postmates. I think it was Sherwin Domino's. Well, I mean also like if you really want to go back, we could talk about pizza, but I'm talking about like ones that did restaurants, like actually restaurant. That did more than one and had.

15:04 That more than pizza, because pizza, I mean rudimentary, is the first kind of delivery. Oh my God, do you know what it was called? What was it? It was called the Worldwide waiter. Oh, is that the first one? Yeah, it was launched in 1995. Wow, what was it? The first online restaurant delivery service aggregating menus from over 60 restaurants in the San Francisco Bay Area. Wow. Well, Pizza Hut launched Pizzanet in 1994 is primarily for their own locations. And then the rise of apps were what was the first the concept Food delivery apps took off with smartphones. Boom, and you have Grubhub, DoorDash, Uber Eats, Postmates became prominent players in this area. Yeah, I wonder. If somebody buy Postmates? That's what I'm wondering.

15:46 You would think. Yeah, Well, one would think. Right, that's what we do with this. One would think. Oh, well, I remember it was called, what was it, Webvan? Remember that huge, huge billions of dollars in it. They were going to have a nationwide food delivery service and not food, groceries. And they had warehouse set up all over the United States and people and they had trucks. And later you see like Giant did the green, whatever the heck it is, the green thumb. Green Giant or whatever. Yeah, a couple of those couple, small local area ones did that. Web vans was the original 1.

16:30 I knew the guys that started it. And that's what was kind of cool because you know when they they did this and then go go 90s in the Internet when everybody could order food without food but groceries online and they had a van service. And I mean, it was, it was big. It was big. It's like 30 billion. It was huge. National, they were going to go international. They they went public. They sold a bunch of shares. And then all of a sudden they started to realize that a lot of people like me. I want to go to the store. I want to see, I want to see that my banana is the banana that I want. Most people are lazy. I think that that that COVID kind of changed the philosophy of a lot of people Where those delivery apps really first they, they were a necessity and then they've been a necessity for people that were homebound for years.

17:25 So they were basically a godsend. Or maybe not a guy, an atheist A. Godsend is a funny thing to talk about. Yeah, it is something they were, they were they were incredibly helpful for people that you know, had that need and then. Pizza Hut Online was certainly a godsend. For me, well, you can't. You can't eat pizza every day. That's what I'm saying. For there's the variety of it. You'd have to find delivery you know was Chinese food, pizza, Mexican. Chinese really, if you think about it, was the first restaurant delivery thing other than pizza, right? Because you could always get Chinese. They always had delivery drivers. I see. I remember when I graduated from college.

18:09 You want $80? Yeah, in 80. Five ODU overdose university anyway, anyway, that's great. I, I, I and then, then I got out and I got and after I got my four year degree, I went back and I took orientation and got my 2 year degree. I need to go do that when I visit. You got to go do orientation because that was so cool because I went to the Woodbridge campus, you know, NVCC where they. Well, they pissed me on. They pissed me off because I need to take a four credit class for a one credit science, like a science credit. And I said you guys are ridiculous. You guys are incredibly. Ridiculous. Well, you should be able to apply your UVA credits to it. That's what I did. I. Just went back and reversed that and they said we what about that? You're missing your blah blah blah blah blah humanities. I'd been there for like 4 or five years. I'd taken 1 1/2 to 2X times the number of. But I had like, oh, you got 37 science credits, but you only need 4.

19:04 You know, you need 7. You need 70 math credits, You got 3. Yeah, I think I needed nine and I had eight and I'm like, this is ridiculous. Well, I I. Supplied all my finance classes and all that stuff back to associates and they said well you you can't graduate unless you take orientation and I'm just like that. I just thought that was comical because it was a one hour class. It was a tour of the campus and that was one credit and that was the only thing keep me from my associate's degree. And so my associate's degree is actually after my four year degree. It's really kind of. Well, that's funny too, because orientation class now for that, that school is different. It's a full semester long course.

19:46 And then at the same time, you have to like, you're in groups of like 4 or something, and you have to do like two or three group projects about the rules or something of a Community College. And I'm like, this is the stupidest thing. No wonder people drop out of here. That's like an 86% drop out rate because yeah, your first class is the stupidest thing ever. I never saw something which I thought would have been really, really good. Is a a class that taught like personal finance? We used to have those. We didn't. We never had one in high school. We should have had one. We never had one on. And when I was in high school, we learned about civics.

20:27 We learned about the various branches of the government and things like that. We learned them. We didn't do them well, but we know pretty well. We, we, we had classes on them in college. I think that it would have been really, really good. If they had a. Full semester course on getting a job, you know, from resumes to interviews to how to dress to who to speak to to. I mean, that would be a 10 week course that everybody should take. Because when you get out, because don't you want to? I mean, unless you're going to go, oh, you're, you're wealthy rich person and you just want to go piss off in Europe for a year. But even if you do, you still want that. I mean, I think that that colleges like UVA, the one you went to, I know very good school and you're not very smart or just I got that backwards anyway. My father, everybody welcome.

21:23 Welcome back. Yeah. Anyway, anyway, what I was thinking is, is that they do a lot with recruitment and they and they give you they have mixers so you can meet like company people are seeking to hire people from UVA so they meet here and they have that. So they bring them in to actually hire you but they don't like teach you. I don't know if there there is a clear classes on how to act, what to say, what to speak. No, I don't think all that. Kind of stuff. Resume writing. I mean, when you walk out of college after four years, you should have a LinkedIn profile. It should be bulletproof. 100% it should. Well, they nobody ever taught me how to make a resume either.

22:05 That's why my resume now, Yeah, it's like really bad. Like I look at it, I'm like, I wouldn't even hire me. Jesus. I had nothing and I paid $100 and $85. OK, I had somebody get me. They did. I put together my resume and I didn't. I can't. I can't type for crap. Couldn't type for crap. Then there were not. There weren't computers. That's how old I am. So I wrote it down on a piece of paper and I gave it to somebody. They typed it out and they laid it out. And then they gave it to me for for two iterations. One was change, correct all the errors. And then it was like, this looks like shit. And you can't put, you can't put naked pictures of yourself on your resume.

22:47 You know, I was like, OK. I tried doing that too on indeed.com. They didn't like it, they got banned, they got mad. Why did? They say indeed. What do you mean when? You talk about circumferences in size. It doesn't really work out too well, but. Well, if you use centimeters, as long as you don't say CM afterward, it looks really big. That is true. That is a very, very good point. It's all like the scale. That's where, that's where we should be using metrics as opposed to using, yeah. It's all to scale. Isn't everything to scale? About 35 centimeters. There you go. You ever get itchy eye in the corner? Yeah, I'm not a big fan of. That I got like I got the big I'm Mr. Bags.

23:30 Me as well, I'm a tired guy. I haven't spent bags forever and you know when I was looking at things and DoorDash doesn't do anything with it but. You have hooded eyes, that's the thing. Yeah, I'm. Kind of monkey head. Well, no, you're that's a naturally born thing that you you have is hooded eyes. I don't have hooded eyes so. Instead of natural. Born. You were born with the hooded eyes. A natural born hood. Does that matter? Does that impact how you see? Yeah, it does. I mean it. It it, what it does for me is that's how high I can see up where my finger is. I can just see it right there. Hold yours. Where do where do you go? Can you see higher? The thumb or the finger?

24:12 Just pick one right there, right there, OK, right there. I. Mean you're not that much more than me. Yeah, not really. I don't think it doesn't really. Matter. You know it matters how big your forehead is, right it? Gets. I think that that's really, yeah, that is kind of a good. Point forehead gets in the way, but you know the bags are like years of alcohol abuse and years of no sleeping and sleeping on 2 hours, 3 hours, four hours when with the various different companies that I was involved in and the late nights of drinking with all of the librarians. I just got to thank the American Association of Law Libraries and a special library association for her for making me a serious drunk. It's their fault, not mine.

24:57 I had no. Choice. But any addiction, any personal addiction, is always somebody else's fault. Mainly your parents. Mainly your parents is who you blame because it is their fault. If you think about it, deep down, nothing is ever your fault. You always blame it on somebody. I think, I think you can blame everything on your parents until you're 18 and then you're 21. And then maybe if you stick around a little while longer, you can still blame them. But around 2324, you know, I think you're, there's a, there's got to be some point where what's happening in your life is your responsibility. And anything that's happened before, there's also a certain amount of like, well, you know, I can, I can blame my parents did bad stuff, but they all want the good stuff too. You know, they were the ones that they really pushed education on me in a neighborhood which was blue collar and people were, Oh, you're a college boy, you know, and you're like, what the fuck, you know, And now if I hear that kind of talk, it really bothers me. And I, I, I want to, I don't want people to think that learning is bad.

26:07 You know, whether you go to college, whether you do trades, whatever, learning, advancing the knowledge of our planet or just taking English, you know, or anything that that expands your mind is a wonderful thing for society. I think as a whole that just just just my own little blah, blah, you know, well. I've heard people are like, I don't like to learn. And I'm like, what does that even mean? Like, what is it you learn on a daily basis of, yeah, when somebody pulls into your lane and you don't die in a car crash, you learned how to mitigate a car crash, like, right there. Maybe they don't want to change? They don't like. Change is the bigger one. Because you can learn anything by accident. People learn things by accident.

26:48 I find that I found that a lot with like people that didn't want to be managers because they didn't want to manage people. They didn't, they didn't, they didn't want to deal with people expressive. Well, see, it's really easy when you're when you have a business to, to give people raises and to tell them everything's going good and you're a wonderful person and all that. And it is very, very difficult to look somebody in the eye and say you're not cutting it, you're fired. That's, that's, that's a very, very hard thing to do. And, and this is going to, this is what itself, whatever, but it hurts a lot when you whack somebody really hurts. It hurts me. I don't know a lot. Maybe it affects everybody differently, but I, but at the end of the day, I still have a freaking job. They don't.

27:33 So I'm not bitching about that. And the only reason I mean, we, we most of the reasons that we got rid of people is it was performance. And if and if people can't perform, they drag the whole boat down. Exactly. I mean, if they're not doing their job correctly, you got to go over to them. That's how. It works. That's how it works. Man, and you know you could. Try and change them, but that has nothing to do with DoorDash, you know, you got to fire them. I wonder how. Well, see, I think that that the DoorDash, the Ubereats, the YouTube, what is it? A lot of those people too are they wait for a second order so that they can do 2 orders at once. And ever since they tried that, that makes delivery times three times as long, and it makes you want to shoot yourself. Well, the first order's cold.

28:25 And then, and then I think the I think The thing is, is that a lot of people that do that, it gives them the entrepreneurial spirit to say I can choose my own hours, even though they were 15 hours a day. I can do what? I can decide not to do something because I'm my own boss. There is no one at the boss of me. No one gets to tell me what to do when in reality, you know, I'm telling them what to do. Everyone gets to tell them what to do because we're, they're dependent on us for their livelihood, you know, And it's like, I think that I think that there's a certain amount of it's people that for I, I, I, I don't know what people would enjoy doing Uber Eats other than, you know, cab drivers, you think, you know.

29:12 That's yeah, it's mainly Uber drivers who are the Uber Eats or the people that don't have because Uber in general, if you want to be a cab driver, you need a car within the last put up though it has been like put out within the last three years. And so that scrapes a lot of people off the map and those really you can't get those jobs because their car isn't new. Just do the Uber or Uber Eats. And you know in, in, in under 10 years that that's gone. What do you mean? Oh yeah, it's all going to be like. Uber's gone. AI or something they got no. It's going to be Waymo. It's going to be Waymo or, you know, whatever, whack A mole or. But nobody will replace this podcast, I'll tell you that much. Unless you die, I'm going to have to get another guy.

29:53 I'm going to hire an actor that's going to just emulate you. He's going to listen to 150 episodes of this. Well, you think I'm going to talk to him? You. Should go into a hate filled rant for at least three or 4 episodes on why I'm a selfish bastard because I died. 100%, absolutely. What I'm going to do is I'm going to really go for the grief points. I'm going to really try to do that and it's going to be the first episode is going to be my dad died in all caps with exclamation points. Everybody knows. And then it's going to be my dad died exclamation point, exclamation point. This is the next one. Sorry, Part 2. And then it's going to be there's going to be a part three and four, of course. And those are probably going to be the highest streamed episodes are. You going to put skulls and stuff on them? And then I'll bring the actor and I'll say I paid this actor to listen to all 150 hours of our content and now I'm just going to talk to him and that's what we're going to do. And then he's going to pretend to be my father for probably until.

30:42 And you're going to call it a record of my new dad? That exactly. I guess we'll rebrand it. That way. Well, that's that's a good one that works. This is true. Well see it if if if I got bored and I got tired of talking to you, I'd just buy me another kid. Exactly. Yeah, you could do that. And it would be and it'd be a record of my other kid. Or a hamster or something. You've had hamsters. Yeah, we sure have Jenny Tails. I don't miss him he's an ass he's a worse he bit me stuff. I was bleeding all over the place Yeah oh Speaking of which I I got these shorts 2 days ago and their butter stain is all over the crotch and I don't think these are going to survive I.

31:30 Don't you have you have a thing about buying something new For some reason? If you buy something for 6 bucks from the the the thrift store, you can wear it forever and it never gets dirty. You never spill anything on it. You go out and you buy one expensive shirt, within within two hours you're going to have a spaghetti stain. Right. It's always spaghetti or a red sauce. It's never been butter on the crotch before. I do have to say that it's never been that. Before do you want to tell the story about the butter on the crotch? Oh, well, I was at a restaurant and, you know, like how they give you fajitas. Yeah. And how fajitas sometimes come with the butter in like the little thing. Was that the randos?

32:11 Randos. Rangos, Yeah. Tysons Point, Virginia. Love that chimichang. Really good, right? Really, really good they were. I thought they were like shit, but you know. It was not great when me and you first went there. Yeah, but I'm going to say the last three years we hammered there. What? We weren't. We didn't even drink. No, no, we didn't even drink. I didn't even drink this time either. Yeah, I didn't drink the last time. I drank the time before the last three years ago, but God. So it comes with butter, right? And the little kind of ketchup container thing, you know, the little, like condom. Yeah. And fajitas sometimes come with butter, right? And I'm eating. It's weird to me. Well, it's great butter. It's delicious.

32:51 And then you put it on the fajita, like on the bread, but then it leaks out, right, 'cause it doesn't get absorbed. Yeah. And then a hot butter stain on your crotch. And that's kind of. But I thought because when you picked a glass of water up right though, you know how the condensation off the glass kind of falls down, I thought that that's what was falling on me, not the butter from the fajita. So I didn't clean it. And here we are two days later with the butter stained on the crotch. I pretty much have to throw these away at this point, but I guess I'll give it a shot. We'll see. See, that's why I always like when I eat. I lean over the plate. Oh, I thought I had a napkin on my lap. I guess I didn't. No, I'm a pig. So that's why that's why I always move forward.

33:32 I lean, I take a bite over the plate and then I move back because I just I have there's there's too many funny stories that I have in my family. Seeing people drop shit down the front of their shirts. It's so bad. That's. So. Bad. That's the reason I wear this. This I have this is I've had this on for two days. You can tell I have my T-shirt on. It's. What do you call it? Hanes. No, no, it's it's it's true classic. I really. Like it, whatever that is. Really good soft cotton, better than Hanes I think, but that's just me. What was I thinking about too? The afflictions other than alcohol. Makes my arms look bigger.

34:14 Than your side of the family has given me is definitely spilling stuff all over you all the time. No matter where you are, you'll just look at your hands and you'll be covered in something. You think that's the drinking or you think that's just? This is me sober. So I that's just sloppy. I don't know. It's just a it's like a woolly mammoth eating a bunch of ketchup covered fries. It's just a nightmare to get. The woolly mammoth gets covered in the ketchup and it gets it all over his horns and stuff like that. Yeah, all over his horns, horns, the woolly mammoth. It was really hairy eccentrically just gets covered in ketchup and he just.

34:55 Did Mamas have teeth? Yeah, they're not like whales. They're not like whales where they have like the the yarn teeth. I remember I saw a whale's mouth one time. Did not like it, did not do it. The what is it called? It's like the Brills or something I don't like. Yeah, bad, bad. They eat krill. Yeah, they eat krill. Oh, maybe that's something. Remember we saw that when they were going around in a circle, like 300 meters and then they just swirl around in a circle to chase the curl to the center. And then they then they whoop up and come up splashing out with their mouth wide open. And that's how they catch the curl. And it was just amazing to see it. But hey, that has nothing to do with DoorDash either. But. I want to keep making that comment.

35:37 They keep. What do you keep commenting on? How? That has nothing to do with Uber Eats or whatever. I wonder if I wonder if they could teach whales to deliver. Well, I don't know. The whale delivery service. How that works? No. And I'm getting really bad reflux right now. Yeah, I don't know why. I think it's the angle that I'm sitting. What did you eat? I ate a Turkey bacon, tomato, avocado sandwich. Oh wow. From Gianna's. Oh, that's a place we go to, right? Yeah, but you got all the stuff for when we had the Beverly Hills Film Festival. Oh, yeah. Do you remember that? We bought a bunch of sandwiches, brought them over, everybody got these sandwiches. I really like those sandwiches.

36:18 And. But. And that was another one of those places that half their business was easily DoorDash, or. You should have seen the guys sitting outside the restaurant. There was about seven of them waiting for deliveries. It's crazy. Yeah. And you go in there and you're like, there's two people in line. You're like, wow, yeah, they're like, it'll be 1/2 hour, you know, like what? And it's like not all those the we got 18,000 orders. And that's, I start seeing that everywhere. It's like when we look at, I mean, I see restaurants that I go into now and Chopped, for instance, here in McLane. Chopped is great. Would Chop still exist in McLane? Yeah. And it's and it's empty. It's, it's the one that's over by Cava. It's moved.

36:59 It's not in the same place. It's not there anymore. Where is it now? Yeah, it's over by the liquor store. It's over there. Well, the liquor store is next to the cava. What are you talking about, Cava? No, there's the liquor cleaners liquor store, McLean hardware, cava, then chopped, then the auto parts store. It's always been there. Yeah. What are you talking about? There used to be a chop that was over where the what's the burrito place burrito. Place. Yeah, Chipotle. Chipotle used to go. That was chopped originally. That was something else. That was sweet green.

37:40 That was sweet green. I am. Oh, sweet green didn't survive because that's a terrible occasion. Yeah, because you don't see it. The windows are blacked out, and it's one of those blacked out apart or not apartment, but complexes. Kind of like when you go out to ski chalet, you know, ski chalet. Oh there everything is blacked out windows for some reason. What is that all about? What is with the Blacked? Out windows in office parks, I don't know. Maybe it saves on ACI, don't know. But that's, you know, you drive up and you see nothing in the window and you get no, you get no enticements. But the ski chalet still exists. Yeah, it does. How do you know? Because I'm going to check right now and verify that I'm not I'm.

38:22 Curious. That's where we bought my first snowboard when I was a child. Yeah, and good times out there. Same thing with the Alpine ski shop. Alpine ski shop I think is the funniest thing because that ski shop is in Virginia in the middle of an area where there aren't mountains. For about where is it at 4 hours? That's near memes in Loudon County. The ski chalet. Alpine or Fairfax Circle as well. They have two locations. There, that's what I was looking for. That's Alpine ski shop. That's not ski chalet I got, I got that. Ain't no ski chalet. Luxury ski chalet.

39:04 Is it in the the office park? The weird office park still. No, I can't find it. Maybe it's gone. Wait, wait a minute. I remember we went there for a closing sale. Where was it? We did. Go there for a closing sale about 8 years ago. Ski chalet in where? It's like Dulles Office Park or something. It's like somewhere I. Put Fairfax County. Try fair. It's in Fairfax County, but it's somewhere in. They just say Alpine ski shop. Then they give a bunch of ski resorts ski resorts. I don't care. Ski Chalet on Columbia Pike closed. There we go. Permanently closed or temporarily closed or what? It's when did it close More cozy, established, nestled on this business, you might think doesn't say it just says closed.

39:59 This is permanently closed. Oh, yeah, 1 bankrupt. Yeah, because I went there. We went there for a closing sale, if I remember correctly, about 8. Years ago, where's the one that you did the internship with? Was that ski shop Alpine? Ski shop, whatever it was. Perfect circle. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, on the other side of the Arthur's or whatever that. I thought that was a really good thing to do in high school. I thought the idea that they took three weeks out of your year and had students find jobs from six. From 6th grade on, you had to find a job every year and you worked there for three weeks, whether it was an internship, doing something. I mean, you could do nothing.

40:45 You could be lazy and you can pick some silly thing and work for your dad as a underwear cleaner, I don't know. That's kind of what I did. But no, no, you actually made the calls. You went in, you went to McLean Hardware, you, you worked at a hardware store, you worked at, you worked at lots of different establishments. It was for nothing. You were not paid, but you got the idea on how to work and how to interact with people that we're running a business and some would take you under the wing even nicer to you and others were like a piece of shit, you know, But it was like, it was really, really good and it. Was I thought it was stupid only because when you're 15 I already had a job and I was like, you had a job. Why do I have to do this stupid?

41:25 Thing drugs is not a job that's. Well, I sold drugs, but at the same time I also was working in McLean hardware. I was doing that when I oh, I didn't. Think you had a job in McLean hardware until you were 16? No, it was like 15 or 16 I think. I think it. Started on it can't be you can't you can't you're fear you can't get a job until you're the the. Only reason you can get a job when you're 15 1/2. That's true. You get your driver's license, run then, but at the same time. Yeah, but you were driving, driving to McLane Hardware. Stupid because I already had a job and I'm like, this is dumb. Like you should. If anything I should get paid for an internship if I'm 16 years old. That's really. Oh yeah, absolutely. That's so dumb. See, we had. We had. The same time who wants to pay somebody for three weeks of work that doesn't make any sense. Painful.

42:09 That's really stupid. We had, we had a lot. Attract my statement. A lot of college interns come and work for us for 369 months. Well, that's months, though. That's not weeks. Yeah, three weeks is a nightmare. You don't want to pay something for the three weeks. And what is it? What are you going to make anyway? Like 200 bucks if that. Yeah, well, we were technically we didn't have to pay them minimum wage, but we did. We gave them a stipend, you know, we didn't. So we didn't have a write a check, but we give them, you know, a couple 100 bucks a week, you know, and it was just like, we're probably violating some law. I'm sure, you know, all the laws because bigger companies, they have to be go by the book and they can't do this. And they got to do that and they got to pay you this. And, you know, and I remember I, oh, I was in a case.

42:51 It was really, really funny. And I can bring it up now because it's probably over with. But when I was in the company, I the, the, the last company I was involved in, the one, the small company we had, they had interns and they hired all these, The guy hired all these interns from like Columbia, NYU, Harvard. It's another school that's up there. It's really good, MIT. Columbia. And they were, they were, they were actually doing, they were cutting up contracts and they were making them searchable, like hundreds of thousands of them.

43:32 He had thirty of these people working for him for a summer, right? And he had them sign documents that were kind of nefarious that said it was an unpaid internship and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, they all come back and, and they, no, they got paid money, but they got paid 1099 money and they were like, and 1099 means that you're liable for your own Social Security and you're liable for your own stuff. So they come back after he's been fired. They come back and they're like, we want to, we want to get we won't, we're we're going to sue you because under New York law that an intern, we were employees, not subcontractors, because you controlled what we did.

44:18 You control what we searched and everything. And I was and I was at the tail end of this and I came in and I listen to this, right? Like these are all people that are in the best law schools in the country, you know, and they're at the top of their class and they had a mouthpiece and there's, there's probably, I think there's like ten of them, nine of them, eight of them, something like that. And it came to us and they were like, you, you need to pay us like 5 grand a piece. It was like, it was like a bribe really, you know, to pay us for, so we can cover our Social Security and we can cover all this stuff, blah, blah, blah. And so, and I was like listening. And then so I grabbed our counsel, which cost a couple grand just to talk to him, you know, and they were, they were a top 25 law firm. And, and then I got this idea and and it worked really, really well because I had AI had a conference call with him without any attorneys.

45:09 And I talked to him and I said, well, yeah, we understand that you believe that you were employees of the company and that we should pay you this money. And we won't agree that you were employees, but we'll agree that we're going to give you some additional stipend. And I said, but you got to know one thing. Every single one of you was in your last year of law school and you're going to go to work for law firms that are our customers that love us. And one of those law firms now knows every single one of your names and you won't be hired. And they just like, and I said, and we are an 85 of the top 100 law firms. So it might get out that, that if you ask for a reference from us, because they're going to ask you where you interned. And if they come to us, I'm going to tell them what you did. They just freaked out.

46:10 They folded, they folded. We didn't pay anything. It was all gone. It was just like, it was like, you know, but I mean. Well. Yeah, it was, it was, it was a hard thing to do, but it was, it was fair. They knew what they were doing. They knew there were 1099 employees and then they just wanted and they saw that he had been fired. The guy that hired him and he he was kind of nefarious because he had him sign documents where he just, he had a signature page and he said sign this and then he attached it to the contract after work. But you know, you need a job, right? Think about that.

46:51 That's how that's what that that's what employers do. They're just anything. I don't know how that got from, you know, I don't know what that has to do with DoorDash. Well, you know, we do. We love the DoorDash. But I think on that note, what do we have here for? About, I think we got to talk about a little more DoorDash. OK, how many times have you ordered from DoorDash or when? Like the entirety of my life. Yeah, no, just like when's the last time you ordered? What'd you order? Oh gosh, you remember? Maybe Papa John's? Because Papa John's no longer participates in regular delivery drivers, they ship it out. So yeah. Oh my God, they do. Everything. I don't know if it's in every location, but the one location near me at least. So, so DoorDash is expanding its business by being the delivery service for all the restaurants that were delivery and then they don't have to deal with them.

47:42 I mean, that's actually a pretty smart move. That was Uber easy though. This wasn't DoorDash. You know, but that was about. Last year, maybe like a year ago, yeah. I got pizza. Wow. Yeah. I don't, I, I, I don't know. I've not, I will order directly from the restaurant or I'll go pick it up. And I mean, I'm, I'm like, by the time I, I, I feel that I want to go there. I'm, I'm just, I'm old fashioned, I guess. And me sitting at home doom scrolling or looking at some stupid Stevie or whatever is not more important. If I was in a rush or something, I would, I could see it if I had the, the issues with time. And I think that's what it is. If you if you have, if you have, what is it? Money and no time, DoorDash is wonderful. If you have no money, you got to make time to get it yourself. You know, that's kind of the thing when you think about the prospect, but the the whole idea of them being delivery services for any and all restaurants.

48:40 It's just that was that was a really, really good idea. Yes, indeed, Apple is on it. Yes. So what's the worst food? I mean, I can't imagine you could order a salad but. I mean, I don't even know what I, like, ordered that was bad. I don't think. I can't remember. I mean, like, all pizzas, just like the underneath. It's like, just wet. Yeah. Because it's not crunchy. You have to put it back in the oven. And if, like, you're going to put it back in the oven, you might as well just eat at the restaurant, right? That makes no sense. Reheating food that you got delivered is ridiculous to me. And that concept is crazy. It's a stupid concept, yeah. When that's why I go to the Pete's restaurants here. What was the one Rocco's. That was the last one. I really like that, except for the really the sauce. Just kind of like.

49:23 Hurt me. I've never eaten the pizza there. Yeah, you did. Wow. The deep dish, The deep dish pizza when you came home. Oh, that sucked. Yeah. See, that was like a 2 out of 10. I thought you got that from, You said you got that from the other place, the tomatoes. I went from one to the other to the other. They were, it's Friday night and the clean and it's like empty and I'm like, where is everybody and all the restaurants are closed And I'm like you did. Go like 930, right? 8:30 I went to 8. 30 I was. Like yeah, it was like it was almost 9 and I pulled up to the first one. What was the one I went to for? The clean is. Geezer Town and and and there's nobody. And then at one it's like our pizza ovens off.

50:06 And then I went, I went to another one and they were closed. Then I went to another one, Santini's, and they were cleaning the floors and I just felt bad going in. If you're cleaning the floors and ordering something because it's like. Yeah, it's terrible. You know, I didn't even waste my time there. Then I went over to Rocco's because I was like, that was the. Worst pizza I've ever had, really. Hands down the worst pizza I've ever eaten. That was terrible. Yeah, that was really bad. You know he should have washed his hands. I wish he didn't because then it maybe would have had a flavor. But yeah, no, that was God awful. I. Liked it? I hated it. I thought that that. Was I liked it, but the first. Piece I've ever eaten. The the the bottom was really crunchy. It reminded me a lot of Giordano's.

50:46 What is Giordano's? Those big fat frozen pieces I used to get in the mail? That was. Those weren't even that good either. Yeah, they saw it. Yeah. See, There you go. I reminded you of a shitty. Pizza. It's a frozen deep dish pizza and then you throw it in, you cook it and it's like it's OK. That's what they tried to do during the pandemic as well, was survive. And yeah, a lot of people, everybody went to that. Well, there was a, there's a app or a website called the Gold Coast or Gold something or other. And you go there and it's got every restaurant in the country that's like got a big name. Like, you know, you can order Coney Island hot dogs, you can order, you can order anything you want, you know, and and they they get the name. Like you can order steak and cheese from Who are the two idiots and Gino's and oh.

51:37 You can do that, really. Yeah. Yeah, you can order. But you don't get a steak and cheese. You actually get the steak that they used to cook. You get the I was rather sponge. You get it's all put together and it comes to you in a pack and you can make it at home so you get the same stuff. That's so. I'll make my own for 1/3 of the price, yeah. Oh, not even a third, probably. 10 percent, 110th of the price. Yeah, 'cause whatever they charge, then they it's like people. Say they hate steak UMS And you know what? I like steak UMS oh, I will die on that hill. I like steak UMS Somebody was telling me like, that's the worst. And I'm like, how dare you I? Think that compared to what? What, compared to a like a $40 rib eye? Of course it's going to be bad.

52:23 Yeah, yeah. But at the same time, I will say, I will say that Steakums, we're calling you out. You charge like 1295 for like 1 package now, and I find that to be atrocious. That's crazy. And we hate you for it. How much is in a pack? So they're double sided, right? So it's like. Yeah, Steaks has two sides when we go with. 10 I don't know, I feel like it's 10. OK. I mean, I was going to say 10, but it it doesn't matter how many steaks, how much does it weigh? Is it about 6 ounces to 8 ounces? Well, let's look it up here. You know, 'cause that's what, when you think about it, is how much is it per oz Let. Me see here how many steakums in a box?

53:11 Let's see here Money. OK, apparently they don't exist anymore, which just isn't true. They have a nine ounce, 12 oz. Fifty. There we go. A 21 oz. And a 27 oz. The slices the very counts of slice 6-8 to 14. Interesting the according to Walmart price, right? Let's see, 21 oz cost 875. 875 S 875 I was close so. That's a little, a little more than what is that?

53:56 650 a pound, 750 a pound? Yeah. This is not really crazy. I mean, Hamburger's 6650 a pound now. I need to get a new chair. This chair hurts. Hurts my cheeks. Well, I think that you know, if you delivered a few more pizzas on your DoorDash job, you would, you would not have to worry about that. I think you're 100% tips, you get your deliveries. You get a whole $2.30 tip. Yeah, when you grew, I was a delivery. Driver, what was your, what was your, what was your favorite? Your favorite delivery? Smoking pot the whole time I was there. And at that point I developed a really harsh marijuana cough. And I remember taking AGB out of a Co worker's car and coughing in the kitchen and my manager said do not come back in here until you're done coughing.

54:47 And then I think I went home. I think that that was my favorite. Time I thought you were building like a delivery and I was like. Nope, Nope, no, no, I didn't go home. I'm kidding. But favorite delivery, I think the school orders were great. I mean like it would be like a $400.00 order and they, I think almost the teachers didn't care because they got the money through the school to tip you with the school orders. So I'd get tipped like 60-70 bucks in a day, which was great. Like that was off 1 order too. So probably one of those. Capital One was generous too. Capital what? Yeah, I don't remember. There was one. I remember I went to this office park. They ordered 45 pizzas. I had to go down to the car four times. And then I said, so are you guys going to tip me? I held it up and I'm like, Oh yeah, could you just fill this? I didn't say are you going to tip me? Of course not.

55:39 But I like, hand it to them, like you filled this out and I was like, I need a signature. And then they did not tip me on a $600.00 order. And and then at that point, I almost just took one of the pizzas and left. I was. Convinced. Yep. Oh, no, You know what? I oh, well, I'm not going to say that. What I actually did. No, I'm not going to say that. You committed a crime, pretty much OK. I think it's beyond the statue of limitations. I don't know, Yeah. But if you think about it, it's it that's the kind of thing that if, if you wrong people, yeah, at at the, at the low end of the economic scale, there's nothing they can do except to physically assault you, do something wrong to your food, do something wrong to your person establishment or something. So you're you're really just opening yourself up for that. And I thought, I don't understand why people I don't, I don't get why I would punish a person that was serving me food if the food was bad.

56:37 It isn't the server's fault. No, no. Well, at the same time, I remember when I had like, I stopped working there and what I did is I had the, the workers there, right? The, the guys and I said, just send me the phone numbers, the people that don't tip on huge orders. And they said OK, And they gave me like 20 phone numbers. And I just call them. And I'd call them and be like, I hear you're not tipping. They they'd be like what? They're like, I hear you're not tipping. You should start tipping. And then I hang up. Hold it. You did this on your cell phone? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, that's caller ID. OK. What now? You do *67, it goes away. Unidentified caller. Oh yeah.

57:19 I forgot about that. Yep, you can do that. Well, we're you did that to about. 20 people. Oh, we used to do that all the time. It was so much fun. I still think the funniest thing is is when I tipped the guy that came here from Papa John's. Timmy. Good old Timmy. Oh my God. And he put it on Instagram. Oh, Snapchat. He sent it to me, Yeah. He sent it to you, but all people sent it to you say, yeah, I got I finally got a good tip out of McClain and you're like, where'd you go? Yeah. Did he show? Was it a picture of it? Yeah, it was a picture of his hand. Yeah. Yeah, a picture of his hand. I think it was like 20 bucks or something. Yeah, yeah. I gave him 20. Well, you come from Papa John's, you know, and it's like you worked there. So I got to, I came in. That's fine. And he, yeah, that's what I thought. And he was like, Are you sure?

58:01 Are you sure you want some change? You sure you don't want some change? I mean, I'm like. God, well, you're used to like a $630 order, like it's like 630 fifty, right? Yeah. And then the they round up the $0.50 to make it like 631 or something. And they typically because. It's easier to write that that's. Why? Yeah, exactly. That's the only reason you round up. Then you don't have to get your calculator out, right? Yeah, but yeah, because a lot of people getting too simple I guess, but. Being on the that's, that's a hard thing to do. Not really. Hard thing to be there. Or. Stay there. Well, there. There are tactics to maneuver around, definitely maneuverable tactics that I will teach you in the next episode here. But are we good?

58:44 How to do? Like an hour. How to do? Is that fraud or is that? Yeah, it's fraud. Criminal theft or something like that. I Well, are we? Wrapping up, what are we doing? Yeah, yeah, we're good. We're good. That all right we got. To we got to say that's a break. We love DoorDash. We've mentioned you a bunch of times, DoorDash, how wonderful you are and we. Expect give us a discount so we won't use it because we hate you. All right, So thank you for listening as always, check out our website and the socials. Catch us next week when we'll be talking to you about how to start a purebred dog farm. All right, we'll talk to you later. Arf, ARF. Bye bye.