Animals

0:02 Welcome back to another episode of a record of my father. And here we are today with my father. We're going to be talking about animals, right? Is that what you were mentioning earlier? Is that what you wanted to make this one about? Yeah, I was thinking it's like after the first of the year, you know you start looking at the things that have been important in your life and we look back and I'm, I mean, I got two dogs right now that I never thought I'd have that are important. And I had cats in the past that were important to you, that you know, you know. Just just to me, not to you. Just to you. Not just to me, no. Just to me. Well, I mean. My gosh, the cat lived 22 years and the other one lived 19. I've never even seen a met a cat that has lived that long since then. Yeah, they were in, they were in the, what we would call it, the Ritz Carlton.

0:47 The the cat. Carlton Yeah, I think we spent more on the cats than we did on your education. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I remember. Time 6. Towards the end of what was it Cassandra? I think it was both. They were having renal failure and they were like, oh, we can come in five times a week and get the what was it the liquid shots or something? They want to get water, then they want to do radio radioactive isotopes to other stuff like that. It was just, it was just, you know, there's the. There's the wonderful time that was. That's crazy. Yeah, there's a wonderful time when you think about the animals in the beginning when you, you know the puppy kitties and they can barely climb up the steps and they hit and they're beautiful and they're neat. And that, you know, the dogs in particular love you every time you come home.

1:32 The cats don't give a shit. But the but frames would always climb. Well, frames would always climb into your lap. Me, mine. Not yours. You you were a stinking kid. Anybody. Yeah, you were fright. She. Didn't care about anybody except you. No, Cassandra would follow me around the yard like a dog. Oh yeah. She was a black cat, about 12 lbs, Solid black, a little white under the neck, I think, yeah. Really. Yeah, I think so. There's white. Yeah, a little white under the. Neck. I didn't even think she had a tie. I didn't. She had. A tie Gray. The whole Gray. Yeah, all Gray. Looking Gray.

2:13 Gray, soft, Gray, soft sweater cat oh. Yeah, sweater cat. Kind of cat that you'd make a sweater out of, but that's probably not what we should say. Right. We were going to make shoes and we never did. No, it was kind of upsetting. We talked about that. We're going to stuff this and make a hat out of this cat and your mother would just go like, stop it. Stop it. That's horrible. You're horrible, you know. I'm upset that we never did. I think that that. I'm not. We haven't been a box on a shelf. I know we well imagine if you could wear them eternally, forever. And a hat. And I could pass the hat on to my children and then my children's children, We would have had kids if we could have made the the hat. Now we have no family. Heirloom thing matters anymore.

2:55 I I remember that Hal Fermash got her name. Now I was like. I tell you that story. I was like, no, no, I just said I I she said what do you want to call the cat? And I said fur pie. And she didn't think anything of it and went to work and she told the people at work that we have two new cats, Cassandra and Fur pie and all of her Co workers, the females that were, they're all paralegals. They got into the conference room and they called me, right. And they were like like what is this? We hear you've named the cat blah, blah, blah, blah. What did you name the cat? This is horrible. And I and I was like look and I'd just gotten back from Montreal and I had a book on my desk given to me in Montreal and it was like cheeses Of Montreal and I look at it and I go like fromage and they just stopped.

3:44 They're just like. What? Fromage and everybody just said it was so weird. It was just like fromage. That's a good cat name. That is a good. It was like, it was the most random thing I did, and it was like, it stuck because it was like, wow, that's unusual. That's kind of, that's kind of a neat name. And it it would just like, it worked. It really worked, 'cause she was fromage, she was sort of cheesed. You know she was. She was well, she was large until she she died. Until the last couple of years there. But how did you get them? How did you You saved them, right? From a. Well, well, yeah. Well, I guess you would say that her, her mom came up and she had barn kitties that got pregnant and she had like four of them. And she came up and she gave two to her, to my wife's brother, and he took two. And then one of them, he called Lucky because she said if the cats stay here, she raised Rottweilers, they're going to be dead and weak.

4:35 So she actually comes over to our house and we were in in where the heck was it over at? Over on Pomeroy Drive then and over Burke. You know, people didn't know who that was. Anyway, she comes over, she has it two in a little case and a cute little just, I mean, this freaking big. You know, they're tiny little things and they're little, tiny Wildcats, you know? And it's just kind of a neat thing. And I didn't want cats. And we both worked full time. I mean a lot. And I worked a lot then. A lot. Well, cats don't matter if you work full. Time. Yeah, well, I mean to a point. But still, it's the whole idea that now you got one more thing you got to take care of. Taking care of a lot of. Stuff. And she goes, well, if you don't want them, they'll be dead in a week anyway. And I was just like, it was something it, I don't think it was exactly those words, but it was something that's what I heard.

5:28 It's something of that effect. And we're like, and I look at my wife and I I I'm in, I'm in. I don't want to be killing the cats, man. I don't want to be the one. To help. We were waiting under conscience for the rest of. The time, you know, but that was great. And then we got them. And that was in like 93, you know, and they didn't die until 2017 or 16. Yeah, it was 17, It was 17 or 16, which, yeah, that was the last. I mean, they were like Cassandra was 19 and then she she'd gone down to like 7 lbs. And that's when. We had. And I remember that when we that was so sad when we I told her mother, I said, you know, we're not going to put water in these cats multiple times a week, we're. Going to go in this.

6:12 Saturday. And she didn't believe me. And I said we're going to. Do this. And you and I went in there and we put Cassandra down and I remember we called her on the phone crying and she's like you. You did it. And I said, well, we we we said we were. But yeah. But, but you know, and I was like, OK, maybe I should have said, really, I'm gonna do it. But I really, really, I swear. Really. Really. I swear, well, I made the point in everything and I was gonna go in and I knew that that that I had a my partner, my business partner said that he had a cat that had the same kind of thing. And he said in the. And he said the first couple weeks you had to chase the cat around because the cat knew that it was going to go and they're going to stick a needle in it and then put, you know 6 or 8 ounces of water in it because that's the problem. It wasn't it.

6:57 It wasn't retaining fluid. And so it would have this bulge of water running around its body for three or four days and it just hated it. And then it became and then he it was his cat and he loved the cat and the cat hated him. The cat was scared to death every time. Went over to find him he was like run away. No, you got to stick a needle on me. Ah. And I was like I do not. Want my cat's last days to be like that, you know? They already knew as well. I remember when we would take them to the vet even before that and they would run around the house and they would know where they were going and that was that was already something that I think there's. Something about animals instinct that says that we're going to go stick something in you and. Well, you put me in a cage. I think you're you're going to stick something in me, right?

7:40 Yeah, we usually didn't. We stopped using the cage on you once. You got to be about seven or eight years. Old. I thought I was around 15. I don't know. No, no, we only used a leash. Then, oh, just a leash. Leash in handcuffs. That's not a cage. A cage is totally different. No, that's inhumane. Cage is inhumane if you think about it, yeah. Yeah, leash in handcuffs on your kid to get him to go to the doctor to get a shot. You're going to get a shot. What was I thinking about earlier? The the Turkey. Oh, you brought up the Turkey, 'cause it was so funny. We went down. We used to always go down and visit my, I guess, for lack of a better word, aunt. She was someone that my mother took in as a child. Their their family took in.

8:23 Her family was killed and she lived with them. And. Then she got married to somebody, but she didn't really get married. They was just cohabitating. They live together and we would go down there and visit them and they lived on a farm in Mouth of Wilson, VA, which is in the middle of nowhere, Dry County 2. Oh, wow. Yeah, I mean, it was, you know, we had to go across the line to buy moonshine Anyway, that's. Another dry county today, do you know? I think it is and you still have to go to the trailer across. From where it is my aunt was. And you don't buy it directly. They put it in the stump out front, and you leave the money in the stump. It was just like the most comical thing. But that's not what the story I was going to tell anyway. And and that's reasonably close to truth anyway. The, the Turkey, they they, the guy says, well, why didn't you take a Turkey with you?

9:16 And he's like, oh, OK, we'll take a Turkey. And my mom's like, well, let's get a pet Turkey. And I'm just like, can we have a Turkey? We grab a Turkey. Yeah, it's a little, we have a little wooden cage, probably as big as a medium sized or large sized dog cage. Right. OK. We put him in the back of the Chewit. Every station wagon was all the cars we ever had patted in the far back. And you know, go, go, go, go. You know, we love the Turkey. And it was just, it was really kind of weird to get connected to a Turkey and it was like and and The thing is, is any animal what you're close to? Unless it's totally wild is you know this was a Turkey that wandered around in their yard and ate food all day and didn't run away because it had food all day, you know, and nothing was bothering and nothing was killing it. So it, you know, it was there.

10:04 It came with us came to our house, we had it there for it got out of the cage. We would. We would walk it, which is kind of funny. You know, we would you would you get a rope on the on the Turkey's leg because he didn't want to put it on his neck because he might have hurt it. But we put it on his leg and he'd walk around the yard and he'd walk the Turkey. And it was just so weird. And one time it got away and it got away at like 6:00 or 7:00 at night, and it was just getting dark. And it flew on the neighbor's roof. And I run over to the neighbor with my brother and three or four other people, and we have a ladder. And I knock on his door and I say, hey, do you mind if we get our Turkey off your roof? And he just looks at me like you're looking at me right now like, Oh no, this is some kind of this is some kind of redneck joke, isn't it? This is a redneck joke.

10:53 Oh my God. And he. Has a funny look And he says, sure, I don't mind you can, you can get your Turkey off my roof. And then he was waiting for the punch line. And then we we plop the ladder up and he looks and he goes like, you guys are going to climb on my roof. And he's like, well, that's how we're going to get Turkey. And he steps out and he sees the Turkey walking around on his roof. I swear he just started laughing. He just started laughing and he was just like, Oh my God, you you really have a Turkey. You know, when we were in like the Acres, which is a community with houses that are on quarter acre lots, you know, one right after the other. So having a Turkey was sort of, well, I mean to say, admireably kind of stupid. But, you know, you know, we had a Turkey, we put it, we put it in the cage, we left it outside, you know, just like we would a rabbit or anything else.

11:40 And Oh my gosh, next day somebody chopped the head off. We we found right. I would. I would have thought they were loud. Well, gobble, gobble, you know, And I would have thought it would have been a fox or something, but a fox would have torn a thing apart. But it had a very clean cut. And somebody, I think a neighbor was pissed off or somebody, some local kid was oh, let's blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and see what happens when you cut a Turkey's head off. I don't know. I I have no idea. It was, it was a horrible story. We saw it. Hearts were broken. You know, we buried, we buried the Turkey in the backyard. Well, that's nice. Yeah. It's kind of like, what do you what do you do with the dog, or what do you used to do with dogs? I mean, I think we might have named him Tom, but I'm not sure. I'm not quite.

12:26 I don't remember the name of. The That's a good name. Well, how old is it? How long do you have it in total? That's my question. We probably only had it like 2 weeks, maybe week, week to two weeks. Top only. Two weeks, Yeah. It's very quick and everybody kind of knew we had a Turkey and they thought it was very weird and a very. I mean, it wasn't urban, we weren't urban, but we were what do you call it when you got a bunch of residential? We were a. Residential. Suburban much more, yeah. So it was kind of strange. You know, maybe race people had rabbits and that was sort of OK, but even that smelled horrible. But you know, they. Yeah. Well, the The thing is we had a big woods area behind us and that would draw. There were animals that lived there that ate these things and we didn't, you know, we didn't really analyze what it was, but it it it was just a clean cut, chop, set off, whatever. It is.

13:17 You think it wasn't the guy in the storm? Yeah. I I think it was. I don't think it was him. No, no, he was a really, they were really nice people. They were a little Uber religious, but but they're still, they're very nice people. So you know. Well, that's sad about the Turkey. Yeah, it was very. TomTom took a timely termination. But now you have these two dogs. Do you see an animal after these? These two dogs? Yeah, I. I did not see these. I didn't see these either. When you when did she get? Yup, Yup, 2017 2016 2016 is. That when you went off to school. Year before, Year before, Year before. 2 years before, 2 years before.

14:01 I thought you were getting old and then, you know, you were her job forever. Yeah, you know, And then all of a sudden it was just like, OK, And she said, I want to get a dog. And I was just like, why would you want to get a dog? She was, I mean, I would have always, I loved animals and I I would have had dogs and egg, cats and frogs and sheep and whatever the hell we had turtles, turtles. I mean, we got 4 acres, you know? The other thing about getting like a small goat or something. I talked about that. Too well? You'd have to get a couple. They'd have to build a new where your skate parks gone. I guess I could. Start a goat. Hurt I got my stick. That would be kind of cool. I've always wanted to do that for at least a year. Become a herder of. Sorts. Well, I have a what do you call it?

14:45 What are the Zulu warriors? The from Kenya or Tanzania? They have these goat sticks. That they need to. Defend off the lines and I bought one when I was there when we climbed Kilimanjaro and it's like it's it weighs like a steel bar and we we now have found out that we have coyotes. I think they're called they're coyotes and wolf combined. It's like a Kai wolf or something. Kai Wolf. That's right. I don't know how to pronounce anything. We have coyotes and we have fox. And just 10 minutes ago, Yub Yub chased the fox off, you know? Oh, she did too. Yeah. And I was just like, she just bolted and ran after the red tail and ran and the fox ran under the fence, ran away. And I was just like, you guys are going to get eaten. They're.

15:33 Going to get, yeah, they really are. Cause Yoshi did that the other day. Yeah, he he didn't know what to do. He was running left to right, going. I'm an idiot. He just does that. He runs and she barks and he just runs in circles and doesn't know what to do. Yeah, one time it was going to be one was made good well. The thing is, is that that we started this with the idea that animals, I mean you you can, you can do research studies and look at them and see that they make you live longer. Oh yeah, they. They make you happy. You know, they you know the whole idea that when you touch an animal that you feel better, you feel more comfort. When you hear a cat purry, you're just like that just is such a great feeling inside you.

16:16 Know well you walk more too. You walk a lot more. Yeah, well, now I walk more with them. I didn't walk with cats. It was kind. Of No, no, not with cats, but but with dogs in general, yeah. Yeah, and and they were kind of quasi indoor cats too. They were not outdoor cats. I rarely saw them outside. I never really did. I never, except when they killed that bird that one time they jumped up 3 feet in the air. Oh, the one they did one when we were Pomeroy was Cassandra 'cause it was a cat bird, and it kept swooping down. It swooped down to her head. Catbird. What is it? Catbird. It's. I don't know. It's got a little white on the wings and it's got a. Little oh, that's an actual thing. Oh, OK. Got it. Yeah, it is. But anyway, it was flying back and forth and it was going down and dive bombing her because she was sitting out on the porch and she was looking at it and she was counting and it came down and she snatched it out of mid air And I saw it and I was like, Oh my God.

17:09 And she runs right into the house. I run into the house, she runs to the back down the hallway and underneath the bed. You're hearing the chirping and the birds and all that. And they're underneath the bed, the birds shitting everywhere. The cat, you know, And I, I throw the cat out up on the bed and then she jumps down the other side. I see the bird, I fly him up. He flies into the bathroom. I shut the bathroom door. She's at the door beating on the door, you know, happened there. And I'm trying to figure out how to open this little slidy window because we had a little slot bathroom that that I could get the screen off. I ripped the screen open and then the bird flew out and everything was. Fine, you know. Oh, OK. That was that. I'm surprised it lived.

17:50 Yeah, well, I mean, he was. He might have been traumatized and died of a exploded heart later. I don't know. But it. Was like he was carried in the bird's mouth for a a little bit. And I mean, cats are not like, you know, when you see a dog, a big dog or a bear or a tire or one of those guys, they grab the thing and they shake it till it's dead. Nap its net. A cat, a cat just wants to torture they will. They will get a mouse and bring it in and throw it in a little squarey and pop it and hit it and torture it and I. Don't know what that is either. Yeah, they're just. It's just. They're just mean. Yeah, they're, they're.

18:30 Bored. They're bored animals. Well, they're getting excitement out of watching the little thing try to run away, and then they just keep bringing it back until it can't run anymore and it dies. Nice. Nice. But that's but the the the you know you. I didn't. That's not the focus. The focus is not on what cats do that are evil. It's sort of like. Remember when I had that goldfish for 12 years that I wanted the carnival? You remember that? What was his name? Superfish. I never properly named him until I was like 16, but I had that goldfish for 12. Years. Yeah, but I want and. They come in a garbage can because they they're in a garbage can in a bag like, what, 70 other of the the goldfish.

19:14 I don't. Know and you got you won't. You had two goldfish didn't. You. I had like five. Yeah. They don't have like a weird disease. And they all died except for one. I thought he kept eating them. Yeah, I think he kept killing them too. I think he had the disease that they were getting and he would just beat the hell out of them. When I went to sleep, I guess, 'cause he was running his face into him and trying to kill. Him and and we kept trying to put more fish in there and he kept. Like he just killed everything in there. Yeah, he's like, he's like a beta fish or whatever. What are the ones that kill each other? Predator, I guess. Whatever he Apex, apex, predator. No, the two fish that fight each other, there's two fish there. Fighting Fish of Siam. No, I think it's the beta fish. The beta fish also kill each other. What about the alpha?

19:56 You put two of them in there, but even then, like you put an alpha and a beta or two beta and 1A, they will go spine. What about a crypto? Oh. Yeah, really funny. But yeah, no, I had that fish for 12 years. Really. I'm never gonna forget that. Oh my God. I always so proud of myself. I remember Big Jumbo. That was another one. He also killed everything. It was another. I mean, you just had nothing but murderous pets. No, they were the worst. Everything you ever got was just like they were armed with weapons when they came in our house. I remember hearing screaming at night and I was like, what is, what is that noise? And it was hermit crabs screaming. And I was. Like 'cause he was killing them, he.

20:37 Was murdering while I was seven years old in the sleep. That's why I'm so a little bit of The Silence, Silence of the Lambs, right? I guess my training really did them well, yeah. Yeah, but he lasted for until we gave him. Away. Yeah. And then he lived for another like 8 years. But I think mom got an e-mail from the people that we gave that hermit crab to and she was like, was he killing the other hermit crabs? Because he's killing all hermit crabs. And it was it was funny. Yeah, he was a murderer. We never went back over there, looked at him because I think I had a favorite hermit crab that wasn't him.

21:21 And when that when big jumbo killed my favorite hermit crab, I was like, you fucker. Yeah, you didn't name the Big the other one you named Big Jumbo. 'Cause it was, it was. A monster hermit crab, you know, big jumbo. There's so much. We have so much interest in our net. Well, I mean, think about YUB YUB. I mean yub yub for a dog. When I say that name, people look at me like they just want to laugh because it's the old guy walking the two little dogs. And it's like, I used to laugh at people like that and go like, wow, I'll never be an old man walking little dogs. That's so wussy. And now I'm that guy walking the two little dogs. So I always tell people, don't do that, don't laugh because that will be you anyway. The Yub Yub name is like no one.

22:05 Do you either know it or you don't? I don't know how anybody knew that because it was so strange because when I googled it I just wanted to know not a Magawai name, what was it? An Ewok name? Ewok. And I was like this is the most the most thing that it looks like what? It's the war dance. Yeah, it's the song, which I didn't realize. I I thought it was a native one. Well, you know when I told Jose that? Yeah, he knew what it was. I said we got a new dog and it's named Yub Yub. And he goes Yub Yub and he starts doing the dance and I was just like, no. And I would see this over and over and over and it's like people would look at me like, OK, or they would go Star Wars and I was just like, what what you.

22:48 I mean, it was just like. I'm surprised anybody knew that, because I never knew that. It may be a minute and a half of the whole movie series ever. And everybody, they just, they were, well, Star Wars was like one of those addicting things that people like. To that was, people did love that. Yeah. People did like Star Wars. Remember the hamster that I had? You remember that? Oh yeah. Yeah, he used to bite that shit out of me right on the end of the fingertip, right? There, another murderer. Another dangerous one. You should have put another one in there, because then he would have killed that. Yeah, I don't know why answers don't love each other. You think that they would the way they look, but they don't like each other. I think every pet you ever had one kill something, the only reason it might have been, you know maybe you have a psychotic past or aura that you out you put. In it might have been me for a while I thought that it was something that had to do with me, but it might have been the room that might have been a ghost. Well, that was the room.

23:43 The room that you grew up in is the room that was. I saw. I saw a ghost in there. You know, yeah, yeah, they might have been going into the fish and I don't know. Maybe so they were freaked out, killed the ghost. Yeah, remember the food one? We bought one from the the fish grocery store and we we the sucker one that was going to eat the all the stuff on the bottom and they just parted them, you know, they just don't like it too. They killed him the fastest. Yeah, he was. He was pretty much. Well, he wasn't their. Their, I guess, species or he wasn't their. Yeah, I realized goldfish are violent. Yeah. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Why are they so violent? I mean, you grew up in a bag your whole life. I guess you're going to be.

24:24 Well, I mean there are they are they related to the carp I? Don't know which are. Bottom feeders and Dead thing eaters and all that stuff like that and. Well, they are bottom feeder. They're only one of the grossest fish you can own. Yeah, yeah. No, that's for sure. Yeah, but they also, it's like, it's cheap, so you don't think much of it. You get it at a carnival and you're like, oh, I I go out and I spend all the money and I figured it was going to be dead in a week. And it was alive for 12 years. And the other two were alive for at least five years, which was even, like, also surprising. But you know what's funny is I still have a dream where I have three goldfish that I haven't fed in a while and I still need to go back.

25:06 Like, I still have a dream like, and I'll wake up and I'm like, fuck, I need to go feed the goldfish. I'm like, wait, that's that was what, 10 years ago? It's weird. It's it's bizarre. I it's true. The bizarre. I still have a dream that I didn't graduate from college and I'm I'm going to, I have an exam tomorrow and I'm going to flunk it. I've never had that one. That's mine is like, Oh my God, I didn't study. And I don't know what the topic is. And no one gave me a syllabus. And I start running this through my mind in the middle of the night in the dream. And I'm going like, how am I going to study for a test if I don't know what it's on and I don't know what the topic is? How am I going to do that? I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail. I'm not going to graduate. I'm not going to graduate. I'm not going to graduate. And then I wake up and I'm like, oh, I'm 6564.

25:51 Oh my God. I'm. Probably not going to graduate, you know. Wine are are always fish based and there's one where I remember having giant fish that were too almost too big for the tank and there's water that was spilling out all of the floor. And I was like, why? I was like, why did I put these big fish in these small tanks? I was just like looking at them like why would I have done this? This was silly. They grew really, really fast. Like, they grew faster than I ever would have thought. And yeah, well, either that or I haven't fed them and they're they're mad at me and they're trying to talk to me or something. And it's bizarre, yeah. Well, you I I have the crocodile story with Edwin. Which one? Oh well. He yeah, he raised them for a long time. Yeah, and he got the Yeah, he got bit. Yeah.

26:33 The story where he goes into the pen and he said it was my fault, he's he's raising crocodiles, Crocodiles like 130 lbs. It and it doesn't sound like that big, but it can jump, it can jump six to six to seven feet, you know, just it'll launch and he goes in there to feed it. And the way he fed them, he opens up the door. He has a 5 gallon plastic bucket, you know, and the thing would lunge for him to eat him and he would stick it in its mouth and push it away. And then he would take whole, whole chicken part, you know, chicken parts in there and then throw it to the the crocodile and it'd eat him. And he went in there and he goes, I missed and it grabbed them by the hand and it took him to the ground, he said It knocked me off my feet. It took me to the ground and it started to roll me into the water and I'm like, holy crap, you know? And he said, but I knew that when a Gator bites you, their teeth are the reverse.

27:33 So the worst thing you can do is pull away, never pull. You have to, you have to shove your fist right down their throat and then they open their mouth. That's what you're supposed to do. But most people, but the opposite of what people do is they pull and you literally rip it. And he's telling me the story. And this is just like and he said, yeah, and I come out and and he said I get loose and I get out of there and I shot it. And I realized that, you know, I better, I better make a feeding door. And I've been saying I need to make a feeding door forever, and I never. Made any? I thought he had one. He chose not. He had one afterward. But he didn't have. One then, so he goes out and he goes, you know, I'm sitting there and and I said, so how many stitches did you get? And he goes, I got like 100 and 4000 and 60, something like that. And I said, So what did it do?

28:15 And I said, well it's my left arm and it's it's a it's a couple slashes all the way down and then there's there's 80 stitches here and 40 stitches here. And then my hand was opened up and so they had to sew back each muscle and each one of my fingers so I could use my fingers again. There was 5 stitches for each one of those. I said your muscles were hanging out. He said yeah, it was, it was. He said it was, definitely. The photo was crazy. Maybe that should be the thumbnail for this? It was a horror, he said. It was, It was, he said. I showed it to his kid and his kid couldn't drive his kid just like just. Freaked out. And he didn't want to call the ambulance because he didn't have a license to have a crocodile, you know and all.

28:56 That, yeah, I remember you showed me the photo and I almost vomited and it was like, Oh my God, it was bad. Yeah, I was like. Yeah, the good old day. Yeah, we need to put that on there for lovely puffy animals. Obviously the thumbnail for this video that'll get us banned from Spotify. Oh, that. 'D be great. Think about all. Think about all the different animal things. That was one. Another one. Well, we used to go snake hunting on the Potomac. That was always interesting. We had one chase us down the down the. Yeah, we had water snakes and we were out on the Potomac and we'd go hunting in the rocks and catch them. I don't know why we would catch them. It's kind of silly. We also had a we had bought a Cayman at the local GC Murphy's.

29:41 They they sold them for like $1.99 and we didn't tell my mother and we put it in my our closet and we had it in a we had it in a big tub that was maybe 2 feet big round wash tub that. Was like a pretty good one. Yeah, and we had it in there, fat it in there, kept it in there. And then she finds it and she freaked. She almost, she was kind of upset when she opened the door because you couldn't shut it all the way, but it was kind of cracked and she went in there to, you know, when she comes into her room vacuuming or something, opens up the door and just a loud scream and you know. Next thing get. That out of my house, get it out of my house. She should we get it out of the house? We put it outside and then the next thing you know, he climbed out of it and he went down the hill and went in the Creek.

30:23 And then a week later, there's a news story in the Potomac News that Kid finds Gator in Creek. Oh, wow. You could have made the invasive species, but they would have died out there. He would have died in pretty, Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was just sort of like, wow, somebody found this there. And he made the Potomac news at the time, which was kind of an interesting little thing. And we thought it was ours. I don't know. It could have been somebody else's. But you know, well, that's why I'm taking credit. That's what we do. We take credit for everything. That's why he went on to raise him, I think. I think that's why but. Any other pursuit of Sure, we had a dog, Shirley, that was named after Shirley Highway. I remember you telling me about that whole. Time, yeah. My mother was driving home one time and the traffic's wall to wall traffic.

31:04 She's coming South and this dog just bolts past her and it just had. It is a mother, you know, maybe a 10-11 months old that just had six or eight pups and it runs past her and then she's driving and she's looking and looking and she opens up the door and it just jumps right in and she has, of course, a happy cheeseburger in the front, Bang. And he eats that and the dogs and that's it. That was our dog. We did that over and over and over. That's usually how we got animals. So we got a we we we had to get barn kitties and stuff like that. And I mean YUB. YUB was the first one we actually bought. Yeah. Yeah, I'd never bought an animal in my life. And that was like, oh, let's go get a purebred Havanese.

31:45 And then we got another one's Havanese, I think, but he might. Be a little. I don't know about that. He's some weird thing. Yeah, he's a long legged Havanese. But they're both like they they are together like this they. They fit, yeah. I mean, you know, wow, they are good. But I think that's going to wrap up the episode here. Yeah, I think that we're going to, we're going to start to wrap. Up. We love animals. We do Animals make us happy. They make me happy that I get joy out of them all the time just to do a whole life change person. Yeah. I mean, it's just it's. You're a big change person, yeah. Yeah, so. So you need to get a pet animal. No. I don't. I think you need a a baby dinosaur.

32:25 I was thinking I'd get a small monkey. I think because I've been seeing these things where those are like they have monkey in the house. You might as well get a friggin skunk. And it goes on the the trapeze and stuff and it's so cool. Yeah, I love that idea and. Then it grows up and rips your face off. No, no. I only want that are like this tall. I'd only want one that's like this tall. He will find big one. He'll find your gun or your knife and it'll stab you that. Would not surprise me. And he will smoke cigarettes in your in your in. Well, I'm going to teach him how to smoke cigarettes. That's the whole point of the monkey. So when I quit smoking, at least I can watch somebody smoking. Yeah, you see that On the other what is it? Where do you see that? About The Simpsons is the way you're talking about. I love that.

33:06 It's like a monkey. Wow. All right, well, we have AQ and a section in our Spotify now, so if you guys have any questions, we always have answers. So we're going to wrap up. None of them are right though. It's the what was it? The 5th episode here already on season. We're rocking, man. Isn't that crazy? We're we're going, we're going to town. And Yep, and we're doing it. But we'll see you next time. Yeah, we, we should be featured on Joe Rogan really soon. Really. Really soon. Maybe two episodes from now. I think we can do it. I think it's manageable, but I think our stardom is going to to. Really. It's skyrocket. Well, you're the executive producer, Sir. We need to have credits run afterward. I was thinking an intro, an intro, some thematic song intro that we would. Well if anybody has suggestion for an intro, I could think of many but they would be they turn people off but I. I could think of many as well.

34:01 All right. Well, you guys have a wonderful day here. GFY it is 132024. Wonderful day out there, everybody.